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How do people live like this????

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Posted 10/11/2009 2:23 AM (GMT 0)
I'm awaiting a visit to the Neurologist as a result of an abnormal MRI of my brain.  It suggest a few things, but my doctor and I are concerned about MS, because of my symptoms and my mom has MS as well.  I know that it's not passed down like that, but I have a lot of similar symptoms that go beyond my Fibromyalgia. 

It's so hard not to fall into a massive depression.  I have also been fighting a migraine for the last two weeks, so that hasn't helped my state of mind or my work days.  I'm tired, hurting, a single mom, recovering from a recent divorce (divorce partially because of my health, in other words, I'm boring and over weight)... I'm only 41.  I'm gaining even more weight, because I stay home more and I eat because it's a bit of pleasure.

It's so hard to accept the fact that at 41 years of age I may never feel good again.  I know that so many people on this site suffer more than I do and I really should be greatful... I am grateful for a lot of things, but not this cronic, pain, anxiety, depression, migraines, asthma, ibs, fibro, etc...  I don't want to remarry to share this with another.  My poor girls (teens) see me suffer, my second marriage fail and watch me either sleeping or in pain all the time.  Sometimes I think they would be better off living with Dad then me. 

This is a terrible pitty party that I'm having, but I'm so tired of this.  I know that people have amazing attitudes here and I'll recieve emails that will probably make me feel better, but the truth is or the bottom line is that I will have to continue life feeling as though I want to die.  I make it to work with migraines, ibs, nausea, constant pain and I smile and I come home from work dead tired and my girls ask what's for dinner and I'm mad as hell that I feel terrible every minute of every day.  I give all my energy to work and come home and I'm gratful if the girls make a can of whatever for themselves so that I don't have to stand in the kitchen cooking.  We're expected to live as everyone else does and I just don't get it.

I'm so down!

Posted 10/11/2009 4:19 AM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry that you have so much stress going on. Just waiting to discuss your MRI
results is stressful enough. I applaud you for holding down a job, being a mom to
two teenage girls and surviving a recent divorce with a chronic illness. That in itself shows
me you are an incredibly strong woman. I think we are stronger than we believe.

Let your daughters know how they can help out with chores, meal planning and cooking.
My mom went to work when I was 14, and I learned to cook for a family of eight and
never regretted it. I'm thankful that I learned at an early age.

Finding ways to reduce stress also help with the pain. We are never pain free, but we can
distract ourselves from it. Each day you have to set aside time just for yourself and do
something you enjoy. I enjoy long leisurely baths and exercise.

I try to take one day at a time that is all I can handle. I have good days and bad days
like everyone. I like the good days better so that is what I strive for each day.

Don't feel bad about venting, get it all out like a good cry. I always feel better after a
good cry. Hang in there. You are a strong woman! Sending gentle hugs and hoping
all goes well at the neurologist. Keep us posted.

Hugs

Robin
Posted 10/11/2009 5:03 AM (GMT 0)
(((hugs))) I'm so so sorry about what you're going through! Robin is right though, you ARE a very strong woman!

I do understand....I'm working both a part-time and a full-time job, and my husband (who also has autoimmune issues) is the stay-at-home dad with our adopted kids (biological grandkids) ages 3 and 4. I keep thinking, "how can I do this even one more day???". I'm exhausted but I come home and my husband expects me to cook dinner. OK....I know he's taking care of two toddlers all day (one special needs), but I have limits!

I'm fighting to continue to work, because we can't afford for me to go on disability right now.

Just a suggestion, it's totally OK to eat, but for the weight problem and the "ibs" try to cut carbs and focus on eating unprocessed, non-starchy foods, i.e. meat, fish, eggs, chicken, nuts, fruit, veggies, etc. It will be equivalent to a gluten-free diet if you really get into it and if your ibs goes away.....well, maybe it was really celiac disease or gluten intolerance! :)

Low carb usually gives you more energy, which would help too. My constant migraines went away almost completely when I went on the gluten free diet, and I'm feeling even better now that I'm grain free (low carb). My pain and fatigue are still with me but they are milder.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.....
JoAnn
Posted 10/11/2009 10:07 AM (GMT 0)

Anyone would be feeling down right now in your situation. Waiting to see your Neurologist has to be weighing heavy on your mind. With all of the stress you are feeling no wonder you are having migraines! I agree completely with the others. You are recovering from a divorce, working a full time job, raising 2 teens, & dealing with all of this pain......you must be a very strong woman. Just remember you're not in this alone. We are all in this together & are here to help each other.

 

I am 43 years old and have gained almost 70 pounds over the last 4-5 years. When you are hurting you are unable to get out and do the things you used to do. I found myself staying home more & more. Most of the time I was either too tired or in too much pain to feel like doing anything. 30 of those pounds I gained after being on Cymbalta & Lyrica for 9 months. I am finally off of the Cymbalta & Lyrica and have noticed a difference in my weight already. I've also started exercising with a low key workout video that my doctor suggested is good for people with Fibro & Arthritis.

 

I think you should sit down with your daughters and discuss your illness. Talk about ways they can help you around the house so that you can come home after work and not worry about chores. I got on the internet and printed off 2 pages of information about Fibromyalgia and how it affects people and had my family read it so they could understand it a bit more.

 

Also, you could talk to your doctor about getting some help for your pain & fatigue. 2 of my sisters, who also have Fibro take a medication for their fatigue and it has greatly helped them get some energy. Please don't think that you will never feel good again. With your doctors help & also with the help of your fellow fibromites, you can live an almost normal life. Many people here have found different things that have helped them. Everyone is different so it's kind of a trial & error until you find what works for you. Just don't give up because it can get better!

 

I hope you get good news from your Neurologist & are able to start working with your doctor on medications that will help you lead a better life. I used to think the same way you do, but I'm finding out that I can make it & I'm not going to let this Fibro beat me. I still have my bad days, but I know there will still be good days too. Good luck & keep us informed of how things are going.

                                                                 hugs,   Springfling

Posted 10/11/2009 2:52 PM (GMT 0)
It is so hard waiting for test results, I hope your app is soon.

 

When you already have anxiety and depression problems it is hard sometimes to keep yourself up when your in a flare, I deal with this myself. Are you on anti-depressants??? Fibromites tend to have low serontonin levels.

 

I agree with the others, you are a very strong person even if you don't feel it sometimes. Being a single working mother of two teens has to be hard. I do believe giving them more responsibility at home will make them stronger, more compassionate people when they are grown. You didn't ask for this life and they are old enough to understand that your not well and your doing the best you can.

 

I so hope you start feeling better soon.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

 

 

Posted 10/11/2009 3:20 PM (GMT 0)

i can relate to you sweety, i also have MS and FM. i found out about my MS 9 years ago when i got married for the third time, and the third time was the charm for me. My mother also has MS and is bedridden with it and my Nuro did thenk it was hereditary.

I found out because my sight went double and it did it twice, and i am still new to FM,i had a mild stroke in august and found out i had it then. I had to quit work in august and apply for SSD and im waiting on being approved as we speak.

I have gained 70 lbs also in the past 9 years due to taking steroids from my MS and am working on that but its hard when the stress overwhelms me like it is right now. but you will be fine as the rest of us here, you have to take you life day to day and get on here and rant to get rid of your frustration.

My children are all grown and my daughter god bless her is also my rock besides my husband and of course the people on here are always ready to listen if your having a crappy day.

When you feel like it's getting to you just post on here and i will always reply.

Hugs,

Jackie

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