After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys,a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddles through her kitchen window. The older of the two,a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole.
As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother ran to the yard in a panic.
"Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!" she asked as she shook the older boy in anger.
"We were just playing 'church' mommy," he said. "I was just baptizing him.....in the name of the Father, the Son and in..the hole-he-goes."
Doctor doctor I can't get to sleep...
"Lie on the end of the bed you will soon drop off!"
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'
The man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?"
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere!"
Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds."
"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.
"Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first!"
Post Edited (depressedfibroamz) : 11/15/2010 5:37:57 AM (GMT-7)