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How can I convince my husband

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Posted 1/13/2011 5:40 PM (GMT 0)
I have been complaining for years.  Now they say it's Fibro.  My family just blows me off.  I have heard them say I am anti-social.  I didn't want to tell them I was tired are hurting.  Now when I say I am hurting, they just roll there eyes.

There is no mercery at my house!!!

 

Posted 1/13/2011 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
Marilyn,

I totally understand what you are going through. My family thought and some still do think I am a hypochondriac. My advise to you, is to put yourself first and make sure your needs are met. It has been a journey for me but I learned to educate myself about fibromyalgia and now when I go to the doctor I let him know he needs to listen to me. I have learned to demand what I need in a sort of nice but firm way. This is a good site for you to vent and have someone understands what you are going through. Take care of yourself and remember, to thine own self be true.

Posted 1/13/2011 6:05 PM (GMT 0)
I have same problem they don't get it.I have been so tired and in a flare i said heck with it yesterday I took my g-son to school and came home and slept all day and nite i was wore out so rather they think iam lazy or what i thought this new year iam going to take care of me and take my meds as i should they don't get it so why not .They didnt put me on ssd for nothing. Take care Deb
Posted 1/13/2011 6:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Marilyn, Welcome to the forum!

It's difficult if family members are not supportive. Many people are unfamiliar with fibro...they don't know what it is...gosh some doctors believe it is a waste basket diagnosis.

We know it hurts and we want others to acknowledge and validate our pain. It is not always easy. Some people will believe only what they want to believe.

You can print off info about fibro and hand it out, sit down and be as open as you can and discuss it with your family. I think it is important that you voice what it is you need from them in terms of help and support.

You can also bring a family member with you to the doctor. The most important thing is that you do what is best for you...making sure you are getting enough sleep, exercising and eating well. The more time you take being proactive does pay off.

I wish you well and I hope your family is there to step up and encourage you every step of the way!

hugs, Robin
Posted 1/13/2011 7:24 PM (GMT 0)
Oh jeeze.......My internet zapped the loonngg response and I don't have it in me to retype it right now but please know that you are not the only one
Posted 1/13/2011 7:46 PM (GMT 0)
I agree, you have to take care of yourself first and not worry about convincing people. But if you must, I also recommend printing something off of the internet. Or you can get ahold of the arthritis foundation and get material on fibromyalgia. It describes everything and the tenderpoints and such. Give them something to read so that they understand. But the main thing is you. The more you worry, the worse that you will feel. So start taking care of you. Read as much here as you can. You were probably already introduced to the fibro101 thread. It is full of loads of information.

Take care, keep a positive attitude, feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/14/2011 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
It really does hurt when family members are not supportive.

I went through some of that with one side of my family. I finally decided to say nothing to them at all about it. When I needed to rest, I rested. When I could not go somewhere or participate in some activity because of pain, I stayed home. They finally noticed that I was missing out on things they knew I loved to do. I think they finally realized then that there is such a thing as Fibromyalgia, and it is indeed painful.

Sorry you are having to deal with this. Just remember to take care of yourself. The rest will take care of itself.

Peace,
V
Posted 1/14/2011 3:31 AM (GMT 0)
At times my family just don't seem to get it even after all these years not so long ago they wanted sometnihg done and I was in argony. I looked at them and said "I am disabled and have a card to prove it, the rest of you can do it all yourselves.
I then told them I was going to be and only come near me if the house was on fire.
To this day I have seen a marked impression they do for them selves. My daughter coks the meals or my SIL to be does and my DH lets me sleep in my wonderful recliner chair.
I am in a full flare again and my friends and family know I am up todooing anythnk at present so I have great company that lets me do the little I can. But it took me standing up to everyone and telling them I had had enough.
And I have had FMS for 18 years.

Kathy
Posted 1/16/2011 9:26 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Denise, I wish you would write me back.  You said your computer dumped your message to me about how to convince family you havr fibro?????
Posted 1/16/2011 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
Vannie, you said one side of your family doesn't beleive in Fibro. Doesn't that make you mad and also sad? 
Posted 1/17/2011 2:23 AM (GMT 0)
Marilyn, I feel like a burden sometimes. Always complaining. I no they get tired of it. But, I guess, I'm just trying to get someone to understand how bad I feel. And no one here gets it either :( It's always something with me pretty much. And my husband says 'there is always something wrong with you, or your always sick with something'. I really don't no what to do with myself & I think I am trying to reach out..I forget that he really can't understand or no what to do with me?Sometimes, I think maybe he might have an answer or suggestion...He is sympathetic and feels for me, but I no he gets tired of me always complaining. I do fairly well, and try not to complain so much, but when I don't he thinks I'm ALL better & I'm not. And, then when I get reaaallly tired of feeling so cruddy, I start complaining again..And he says, well you haven't complained so long, thought you were ok?BLAH.

Hope they come around for you & at least offer some compassion & comfort :)
Hugs,
Amber
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