Got jitters (good and bad) about going back to work...

So, I'm thinking there's a 99.9% chance I'll be starting back to work at the end of February if not sooner.  And as they say, be careful what you wish for, it might come true... 

My degree is in Medical technology. So, pretty much anything lab related, I can do. Some of which, especially in these hard times, is very stressful as hospitals, etc are cutting back by hiring MLT's (2 year degree) to do all the work and letting us MT's (4 year degree) take charge in result reporting, making calls on panic values, and dealing with the disgruntled (is that how you spell that??) patients. Well, the "Old me" (here we go again) would thrive on stress, love the attention, and work a 40+ hour weak and still have enough energy to be the perfect wife, mother, you name it, at home. Well, the "new me" (oxymoron sp??) has NO idea how I will handle the stress, hours, being on my feet this time.

This new position has a lot of up's and downs. A few up's, there's really only one lab test I'll be dealing with as I'll be working in an Oncology practice. So, I can let my guard down some on the rest of the lab. And I won't have to deal with any kids. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE kids, but not when I have to chase their squirmy little arm aiming for those tiny little veins, etc. A few downs, I'll have to assist in performing bone marrow biopsy's. And it IS a busy place so I'll be on my feet most (if not all) the time.

Now, they WANT me to work full time. But, I have the option of working PRN. So, my game plan is working PRN intially. And seeing how I handle things, starting out at 3 days a week. I am using my daughter as the excuse (which a lot really is because of her), easing her back into the transition of school and not being up mommy's butt 24/7 . If ~I~ don't handle the stress/hours so well, I'll know I can't progress beyond the PRN. But if it goes really well, and I don't get as stressed as I used to, then I'll try the full time out on a trial basis.

I think the thing that scares me the most, is that in my mind and heart, I REALLY REALLY want to work full time. I want to amount to something (not saying that I don't now) like I used to, but I just have a feeling, based on the events of recent and the fact that I feel like someone beat the crap outta me, my body just can't take that anymore. And I'll feel defeted and well, have a hard time excepting it. Maybe it's good I talk myself through this today and remind myself not to get my hopes too high up

Thank you Robin!!

You are right, it does help to do something you enjoy. Before I heard of this job, I was asking everyone I knew if they knew anyone that was looking for help. I even said to one friend "Hey, I'm willing to scrub toilets at this point" and then I'd INSTANTLY start praying "God PLEASE don't make me scrub anymore toilets!! " I had applied at grocery stores, fast food, you name it.

I know I need to stop beating up on myself. I've only lived on this world a short 36 years and my mom always tells me "You've seen and done and accomplished more things at your age than most people do in a lifetime" so I know I'm lucky. I know I "could" (at one point) so if I can't now, maybe that's because my body is already worn out from what I've already done!! And I'm also worried what my husband will think (if I can't swing it). half of me thinks he understands. And the other half thinks he thinks I make excuse after excuse.

Guess it's time to pray more and "Give her all I've got, Captain!!!"

GDSgirl, Lord knows I've vented on your threads so please feel free to vent on mine!!

I'm really sorry you are so down!! I hate when I'm there. I'm not saying I'm not down right now, but something has put the fight back in me to reach for what I once had. I'm fighting so hard right now, I actually went to church on Sunday and I have every intention on joining that church. I tell everyone it's for my daughter so she can attend christian school, and have the same opportunities as I did when I was a kid. But when I think deep down, I'm doing it to get back in touch with God, to actually make time for him, to work for him so that ~I~ won't feel so badly about praying for my needs for a change. I pray for everyone else but hardly ever pray for myself.

Who knows, I might lose my feeling of "fight" tomorrow but for now I still have it.

I'll pray for you, GDSgirl!! I always do!! I pray for all in my fibromite family!!

Tomorrow when I'm not so tired, I'll reread your post and see if I can find any words of wisdom or advice.

And you said you "only waitressed" well, that's one I've never done because I'm too afraid of it ! So you have one up on me!! I'm actually jealous of those who waitress and are good. I have a lot of respect for how much work it takes!! I've always wanted to try waitressing but I think I'd collapse now!!

Karen, it depends where you waitress.  I usually went home with 150.00 a day and that was 25 years ago.     Oh, those were the days!!!!

Hi stasialynnify and welcome to the forum!!!   I hear Mickey-D's pays pretty much over minimum wage so that is a good thing!  Good Luck.  I don't know if I could stand the grease smell tho.  Smells good when you walk in but to be in there for a shift, For me it would be overwhelming.