This is not good. Need some advice.

Hi fibro friends,

I just want to vent. I don't know what to do. I have missed work alot because of my fibro and severly degenerated lumbar disk. A few days I had to leave early. One time I hurt so bad just clicking the mouse button hurt. I have good days and bad, but they are unpredictable, I don't know what the next day will bring. Anyway, got a call from my manager and got 3 days suspended because I have been sick with a terrible cold/sinus inf. and had to miss 2 days of work. If I miss anymore days...then I'm done. I really don't know what to do. I thought about applying for disability because it is hard to work a sitting job for 8 hrs with what I have. I have downgraded from an RN on a busy hospital floor to a position that I thought would be better. I didn't get any help or really a care from my manager...honestly I think she would rather for me to be gone...I mean you can't depend on someone with health issues. I go to see my md tomorrow any pointers on what I could ask him in regards to disability? I am really thinking negative because I have heard so many complaints about getting disability. I am only 37 but suffer from fibro, the degenerated disk, osteoarthritis in the spine, bursitis both hips and now my rh factor is elevated..my joints do hurt but I will talk to my md about that tomorrow. I look healthy from the outside, but feel 80 on the inside. Someone would look at me and say I look great and am in no distress. It sucks...lol. I also have b12 def., I am currently getting 2 shots a week for 6 weeks, but that part can be fixed.

I don't know if I should try disability or not. I'm walking a fine line with work, and honestly I can't keep doing it. Oh..and what really sucks is my insurance is a lot cheaper than hubbys, so I am the carrier. :(

Thanks for listening...I hope everyone is well. :)

Hugs,

KL

I dont have any advice but my heart goes out to you. Physical pain is enough and then you have to cope with the emotional drain, the work drain. My thoughts and prayers are with you that you would find a peace and a wisdom to know what is best for you.

Hi KL, Hoping when you meet with your doc tomorrow you will get some advice dealing with your chronic pain.

Have you ever considered having back surgery? Having a lumbar laminectomy gave me major pain relief. I still have back issues but the pain severity was considerablly lessoned by the surgery.
There is always a risk with surgery but there can also be a risk of permanent nerve damage if pressure is not taken off the spinal canal. I do have permanent nerve damage from the knee down from the sciatica before the surgery.

Anti-inflammatories have helped with the arthritis. Hope the doc offers you options to give you the relief you need.

hugs, Robin

Be as honest as possible with your doc. It is so hard to express ourselves. Sometimes it seems we get conditioned because no one really wants to hear about our aches and pains so we minimize. I worked as a dialysis tech and you would think a bunch of people who take care of others would be more sympathetic but that was anything but the case as you seem to be realizing too. When I finally realized I had to call in when I was too sick to work (same as you, going home early, etc.), my unit administrator asked me to take a medical leave which is something you might be able to consider if you have those benefits. I never returned to work and applied immediately for SSD. I was 36. Hints: It's your bad days, the worst ones that count - you never know when they are going to hit so it inherently makes it difficult to work, to function. Your doctor needs to know how it effects your daily ability to function. Tell him how it is excrutiating to click your mouse some days. My doc didn't know how much it hurt me just to hold a tootbrush but once I was able to get that across, he put me on neurontin which has turned out to be a really good med for me. Lastly, don't be embarrassed. This has happened to you, you didn't ask for it. It's not your fault. I wish you the best of luck.

I'm right there with you! I juggled with the idea of SSD and finally applied. I'm pretty much at the waiting period. I'm 38 so I completely get where you are coming from. Tell your doctor exactly how you feel. I fought with my doctor because she thought I was too young. Not to young for disability per say but to young for my own mental state. I told her how can I work with my conditions. I have a 3 yr old to take care of right now so I'm far from being bed ridden (so to speak). We can always volunteer, which is what I would like to do once my son is in school. That way, if I'm having a good day then I can actually do something without worrying whether or not I'm going to have a job the next day. I've lost 2 incredibly good jobs due to Cubital Tunnel (which is similiar but worse then carpal) and now have more constant pain with the newly diagnosed Fibro. Just make sure you get your point across. I winded up crying at most of my visits so she knew I wasn't just someone trying to "freeload". Not to mention, I RARELY ever went to the doctors so it must be bad for me.

I wish you all the luck in the world! I'll be praying for ya! It's a hard decision to make and I am still struggling with it! But, I have to try!

Yes, I did. During the evaluation process, SSD even sent me to psych guys who determined a) I wasn't crazy, it wasn't a somatoform disorder and b) the doc stated it was my pain distracting me - I was a trainer for technicians and couldn't even figure out why a machine was alarming anymore b4 I quit work. I don't think they really recognized the fibro fog as much then. Either way, I applied in '97 having left work the winter of '96 and was awarded SSD in '97. All I know is when the forms came to fill out, I filled them out and then some. I'm sure I was in a pretty bizarre state of mind so who knows what all I wrote but I know it was a lot, even about how it was destroying my relationship because I had changed so much. Maybe I just overwhelmed them with paperwork ? LOL! But you have to paint a picture because all they see is your name and doctor notes, and you know how much of the story those don't tell so you have to. I really hope all goes well for you today. Good luck!

Thanks Sherrine, I thought since I didn't like to take meds and didn't "try" every med that was out there that SSD would deny me and tell me to try all options before...and it's hard telling your md and rheumy that you don't want to take lyrica, cymbalta etc for fibro, nor you want to get addicted to narcotics.

Thanks for sharing that.
KL

That's wonderful :) Yea!