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Posted 8/17/2011 4:09 AM (GMT 0)
My daughter is now at home and is realizing she can not just go back to normal. The doctors have said 6 weeks and they mean it. My SIL is trying to be helpful in his own way but he does not do things her way so they have been having a communication problem with me in the middle. I have been coming home and falling asleep almost instantly, my hubby is doing our laundry, making dinners and looking after the house and pets.

I told my daughter I could not keep coming over into their home as the tension is so thick I could cut it with a knife but she can come to my house and I will look after her here, She cleared the air this morning and SIL called and apologized so once more I was mama maid and mama nurse and mama chauffeur. Everyone just want her to feel better and with rest she will gradually get her energy back.

I am so tired my FM and IBS and back have all decided to make themselves known but if I remember to not overdo things I should make it. Thanks everyone for the support.
Posted 8/17/2011 5:28 AM (GMT 0)
Sounds like it's time for someone to take care of 'mama'. I hope you are making an effort to get time for yourself. Please do try...you're no good to others if you collapse in trying. I understand because I'm the one in the family who is always there to hold the family together and it wears me out. In the past year they have finally gotten the idea that mom/grandma can't do everything like I used to. Time for someone else to step in now and then and give you, and me, time to rejuvenate.

Warm hugs,
Chutz
Posted 8/17/2011 1:51 PM (GMT 0)
I agree. You will actually be able to help them MORE when you take care of yourself. I don't know if you go to a church or anything like that, but a lot of times all you need to do is call the church and let them know you have a need. If they don't know, they can't help you. If they can just help your family so you can have one day to rest, that could make a world of difference. Hugs
Posted 8/17/2011 5:01 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds like your daughter is a Type A personality...just like me.  No one can do things better than I can.  This drives me crazy.  But when I was recouperating I had to just remind myself that everyone is doing the best they can and the house will not fall apart if they aren't doing things like I like them done.  So I relaxed and just thanked God for the help I was getting and I know I could get things back on schedule once I got my strength back.  Perhaps a gentle reminder?

Sherrine 

Posted 8/17/2011 9:39 PM (GMT 0)
Y'know I used to be so picky before fibro-the kitchen had to be spotless and all beds had to be made before I could sleep

Now I say'those dishes will still be there in the morning, so what am I worrying about?" I just run hot soapy water and let them soak...and I'm thinking of buying some kibble for all my dust bunnies.

I hope peace will reign in your valley very soon roses!

Maggie
Posted 8/18/2011 6:11 PM (GMT 0)
Another update....

I am at home today, hubby has said do not do anything. I am so tired. My dear neighbor is in hospital so yesterday before I went to daughters I went next door and put clean bedding on bed, did laundry, swept floor. I made it to daughters for 12:00 so SIL could go to school and get the girls for lunch.

I made the girls lunch, baked a cake and after school granddaughter decorated it. I had my SIL take out the garbage and mow the lawn because there is nothing wrong with him. I washed the kitchen floor (hands and knees) did another load of laundry, vacuemed, dusted, cleaned the inside of fridge (due to juice spill), prepped dinner, picked berries. Hubby called me at 5:30 said I sounded terrible I had just finished and was on my way home.

Hubby ordered take out so I had no cooking or washing up, and also brought home roses for me, my daughter and our neighbor. He is upset that I am doing too much because he knows a flare is coming. My daughter slept most of yesterday and I called over and hour ago and she is sleeping. I can barely keep my eyes open today so I am going to take advantage of this day and rest rest rest.
Posted 8/19/2011 1:41 AM (GMT 0)
It is wonderful that hubby is so understanding. Just rest rest rest, as you said, and don't worry too much. Your daughter being home may be more physical work but at least she is home and not in the hospital. I hope her healing goes wlel.
Posted 8/19/2011 3:49 AM (GMT 0)
What can your hubby do for your daughter? I always wanted my mom when I needed help then when my daughter was born right when my mom started a new job and couldn't take time off my dad helped me. He mainly took care of my son but my son was delighted with the individual attention from his papa. Hubby can drive, hubby can grab take out (if he doesn't cook, my dad, brother and hubby are better cooks than I am!) he can find ways to help that might give you a day off here and there. You need to take care of yourself too or you won't be any good to anyone!

Gentle hugs
Posted 8/19/2011 3:31 PM (GMT 0)
Moonsinger, yes its wonderful having my daughter home and no longer worrying about that surgery. I spoke to her a couple of times and will be going over today for a couple of hours to help the girls bake and tidy up but that should be all.

Namian my hubby brought her a couple dozen roses, because daughter and my hubby do not get along they tend to avoid one another. They have a personality clash but they do try for my sake to keep things under control. My hubby works hard physically every day so him taking on our home when I can't is help enough. (My children were grown when hubby and I got together.)

I did basically nothing yesterday, slept alot, and feel much more human today. I made BBQ pulled pork, salad and mashed potatoes for dinner and when I went out to get my meds I stopped at a yard sale and bought a new to him wardrobe of clothing for my 9 yr old grandson. I also made arrangements to see some more of my family on Saturday.
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