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So lost,so much pain so heartbroken

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Posted 8/31/2011 1:13 PM (GMT 0)

Hello to all my healing well family  cry  

 

 

My gosh I haven't posted since Christmas time.  I had a dear friend help me through the holidays,and for that I am greatful

.  Since then we had some hard times.  At the time Jayson had lost his job and he had been out looking for a job with no luck.  He had gained some weight and I thought each time he came home he looked terrible and we just thought is was the weight gain that had him dragging butt.  He finally with my proding went to see a doctor.  He still had no medical but we filed some paperwork and he got to see the doctor free.  I went with him to his appnt and they kept listening to his chest and then theyy took for an xray and as soon as he came back they had him hooked up an EKG? 

 

All the sudden ppl were coming in and out of the room very fast and I heard them say they were having an ambulance fpr Jayson.  He was having a heart attack right then and there!  It was rush to get my meds together and find a ride and I was so scared.  At the hospital they were arguing about weather he had a heart attack or if it was some else.  Finaly the cardio doc came out to tell me that Jayson had 4 differnt types of congestive heart failure and the odds were not good.  If he got in shape and did everything right he would have up to 5 years and the way he was taking care himself' 2 years tops.  I couldnt believe it,I was floored. He was admitted to the cardac ICU

 

So we have been dealing with only my ssi check and thats not much and my daughter having to pay power and water.  We are deseratly waiting for Jay to get his dissablity.  And they are raising our rent 100 dollars to pay for getting on a sewer system.  As of right now my check pays the rent with a lil left over to put towards bills. 

Jay is dealing with horrible pain in his feet and he has to sleep sitting upright or he couldnt breathe.  He also had really bad blood presure and that alone can kill him by stroking out or having a massive heart attack.  He has to word so hard to even breath,espcaily when he has terrible coughing fits where I think he's going to die right then.    Its just been so hard doing the things Jay used to do for me which in turn brings bad pain for me.  The next thing Jayson will have to do is check to see if renal system is working(with congestive heart failure,the blood is working overtime to get the blood pumping from his heart to other organs) he will evetually put on dialisis(sp).  He has chose to be DNR(do not resesitate)and I have to honor his wishes.  He isnt even sure if he will not take dailisis.  So basically I get to watch him die.  Everything is so hard for Jayson.  It takes him so long to do anything because he had to rest every ten steps.  I have missed you all so very much.  I think of you all often and you are still in my prayers.  Thank you so much for all you have done for me.

 

Soft Hugs,

Karen

Sorry for all they typos

Posted 8/31/2011 1:50 PM (GMT 0)
Karen,

I am sorry to hear this. Make the most out of your time together. Hopefully things will get better and he will live longer than anticipated. Is he able to walk around? Maybe some nice walks will help him to breathe better and help with his health.

Your plate is sure full. Can you get him on some kind of help from the state to help with your bills and the doctors bills? I would check into that. Check with the department of social services. He must be eligable for some help. This way it wont all fall back on you.

It is nice to see you post again. I have wondered about you. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I lost my first husband to lung cancer. It was hard. But people do rally together and help. You would be surprised at who will come around and help you. I found I had more friends than I thought.

Take it one day at a time. That is the best that you can do. Know that we are all here thinking of you too. We are your support system.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/31/2011 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
Oh, Karen, I'm so sorry to hear this!  You two have been through a lot over the years.

 

Now, my father had congestive heart failure.  Through running tests they discovered he had a valve in his heart that wasn't working properly.  He had the valve replaced through open heart surgery and lived many years.  Very healthily I might add.

 

Did they do an angiogram to see if he had clogged arteries?  He is young!  I know I'd get a second opinion.  Go to a teaching hospital and they can help.  As far as insurance goes, we are treating MANY people who don't have insurance.  Doctors take a hippocratic oath to do no harm to a patient.  If they are ignoring being thorough, they are breaking their oath.

Here is a link to find a teaching hospital near you.  These hospitals are usually top notch and help in training new doctors, too.  PLEASE get Jayson to one. 

 

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_university_hospitals

This is what the Mayo Clinic says about heart failure, too.  Things can be done.  You aren't just sent home to die.

 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/congestive-heart-failure/treatment.html

 

Start calling now and see if you can get him some health.  I'll be praying for both of you.  My heart breaks for what you are going through right now, Sweetie.  One day at a time.

 

Sherrine

Posted 8/31/2011 3:30 PM (GMT 0)
Karen, I am truly sorry for all the pain and stress you are under. Try to take it one day at a time. Hold on to HOPE and let your FAITH carry you.

Nine years ago, I had to have cardio clearance to have back surgery because my EKG's were abnormal. They wanted a cardiologist to sign off saying he thought I was strong enough for surgery...I was.

Today, I have right-sided heart failure, diastolic dysfunction, hypertensive heart disease and pulmonary hypertension. I have a great cardiologist and pulmonologist. I listen to my docs advice and exercise.

I'm hoping Jayson will follow through on his doctors orders and will be able to stop the progression of his disease. Encourage him. The mind is a very powerful part of how we deal with crisis. Believing things will get better is always a first step. Hang in there and take time to care for yourself.

I will keep both you and Jayson in my prayers.

Hugs, Robin
Posted 8/31/2011 3:41 PM (GMT 0)
Karen, I am so very sorry.  Your post caught my attention on the HW front page.  (Usually I read the Lyme Disease threads.)

May God give you and Jay supernatural peace and strength as you live one day at a time.

Posted 8/31/2011 4:11 PM (GMT 0)
Karen I hope your hubby and you can find a way to relax together and talk this entire health issue through. Deciding on a DNR ahead of time is a very emotional time, I know we had to decide for my dad and it was so hard to do, and when my mom had her heart attack she immediately told her Dr he was to not prolong her life in anyway, we were so thankful she had already made the decision.

Whatever happens Karen I wish you and your hubby the very best.
Posted 8/31/2011 4:50 PM (GMT 0)
Karen, I'm so sorry to hear about all the problems you and Jay are experiencing. I have dealt w/ many of these issues w/ my DM and my DH. We rushed my DH to the ER and they missed his HA, as Diabetics can have silent HAs. It wasn't discovered at the time and he was sent back to work - He was just fine! OMG.

Pls get in touch w/ Social Services in your area. They should be able to help you w/ utilities. Your church can also help you w/ money and food.

I know your are scared and exhausted, but this is something that can help reduce your stress in the long run.

My DH now has SSD, but it has been a long fight - and it shouldn't have been. We had to get a lawyer b/c there were so many companies to fight, and there has been so much stress to deal with. All his issues are soooo well documented. Sometimes, these big ins com & employers just figure you will give up. I Don't Think So! It isn't over yet, but we are not going to back down, we are right.

As has been said, get a 2nd, even a 3rd opinion. I know it feels hopeless right now, but pls don't give up hope for either of you. Put one foot in front of the other and make the most of each day. Say all the loving things that are in your heart, share all the fun memories you have.

My DM and DH each made the DNR decision. It is about quality of life.

I've said this before, but I will say it again. I have had some very low times in my life these past few yrs, the ppl here basically saved my sanity, set me back on my feet again. When these things hit, we try to be so strong, but sometimes we also need the support of our friends and family. Karen, We are your friends and family! Pls draw strength from us, we are all sending our love and prayers your way.

God bless.  Alice.

Posted 8/31/2011 5:15 PM (GMT 0)
Karen - I haven't been here in months either. I feel so badly for what you and your husband are going through. I would get a second opinion. I lost 75 pounds last year and it changed my life. Maybe you could work on that together with Jayson. It could help quite a bit. Take care.
Posted 8/31/2011 8:11 PM (GMT 0)
For financial help in this crisis, see ModestNeeds.org -- it's a great organization. I am very sorry to hear you're having trouble
Posted 9/1/2011 2:35 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. You and your family have been through so much. You will be in my prayers.

Hugs - Austen
Posted 9/1/2011 12:37 PM (GMT 0)
Oh wow, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I will be thinking of you.
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