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Feel guilty all the time!

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Posted 9/17/2011 10:05 PM (GMT 0)
I feel guilty all the time because of my disease. First I have to say I have a very supportive family. My husband is the greatest man I have known. when I have a horrible day, and am in so much pain I feel guilty telling my husband. Since I was 15 I have had symptoms of endometriosis however not until about 2 months ago has it been almost non-stop. I feel bad when my stomach hurts, feel bad when my body aches. I don't want to tell him, but he gets mad if I don't tell him. I have 2 appointments set up one for the gyno and another for a abdominal ultrasound. My NP wants me to go for a laporascopy to see if it is Endo or not. Im so sick of my list of illnesses. I hate this!

 

List: Fibromyalgia, IBS, chronic costocondriasis, GERD, migraines, possible Endometriosis

 

I know alot of people are way worse off than me, Im just having a pity party day! 

Posted 9/17/2011 10:17 PM (GMT 0)
You have a lot of chronic conditions Fibrocrystal..... Don't feel guilty about not feeling good. It doesn't make your situation any better. It just depletes your energy. Feeling guilty just gets in the way of living. You are fortunate that you have an understanding husband. I do too, but some of us don't. So take advantage of it. You don't have to tell him everytime you are in pain, he can probably see it. It sounds like he is sensitive to the way that you feel.

I hope that your appointments go well. I hope that you don't have endrometriiosis, however you spell it. Close enough. I had a lot of female problems when I was younger. It was like something was always happening to me. Try to take it one day at a time. One moment if you have to. Have the tests done to find out one way or another. It will put your mind at ease anyway.

Coming here to vent is good. We all understand your frustration. Keep up all the good work and take it one day at a time.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/17/2011 10:21 PM (GMT 0)
I just want to know what this pain is from. Im not looking forward to any surgery, but after I go to the gyno I will get it done. Like I said I am very fortunate to have my husband. The whole time he was in Afghanistan he wore a fibromyalgia support bracelet. In case you haven't seen those they are light pink and dark pink. This just makes school so hard.
thank you!
Posted 9/17/2011 11:10 PM (GMT 0)
Before settling on surgery I would be getting the ultrasound.
Posted 9/18/2011 2:53 AM (GMT 0)
I agree - a husband who WANTS to hear about your physical problems - worth his weight in gold!!

Mine does care, deep down, but he always assumes I'm overreacting. Like the time my appendix was about to burst, and he said, "Oh, you're fine." Guess who drove me to the ER?

Me!

Debbie
Posted 9/18/2011 3:00 AM (GMT 0)
No offense but he sounds horrible! My husband would never discount my feelings like that. there was a time that he thought I might be making it up. He was married to a hypochondriac. But in the last 3 years has become quite the advocate. I am not planning on jumping at surgery. Im getting the ultrasound in 2 weeks and gyno appt. in 4 weeks. nothing is set in stone yet. The ultrasound will only see if I have any cysts, it won't see if there is any endometrial growths. laporascopy is the only thing that can see that. Just want to know why my abdomen is in such pain!
Posted 9/18/2011 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
Fibrocrystal,

Of course you do! I think it's always easier to deal with something if you know what it is.

Actually, my husband is a very caring guy, although I can see why you might get the wrong idea from my story. He just looks at physical things differently, including his own...a kind of "if you don't acknowledge it, it's not real" thinking, which drives me crazy. He has an extremely high pain threshold, and simply can't relate.

It used to hurt my feelings, but after 30+ years, I understand that he's a product of his upbringing and his own extremely independent personality.

I hope you get some answers, and some relief, soon.

Debbie
Posted 9/18/2011 6:40 PM (GMT 0)
Initially, I felt some guilt only because my hubby was doing so much to help. He has taken over all the vacuuming, responsible for the cats litter...does the shopping for the heavier items, and cleans up the kitchen after supper each night. Jim never once has complained and is very supportive.

He always knows when I'm hurting, even when I'm smiling ,he says he can see it in my eyes. I try not to talk about pain when I'm around him...he keeps me laughing alot so he's a wonderful distraction.

I know it must be very frustrating having another issue to deal with. Try to take one day at a time. I'm glad that you have a supportive family...that does go a long in helping....understanding is great!

Hope your appointments go well, keep us posted :)

Hugs, Robin
Posted 9/19/2011 1:40 AM (GMT 0)
Unfortunately endometriosis cannot be diagnosed without the laparoscopy. If you have it, at least they can remove as much endo as they find at that time. I've had this done 3x and had endo since 15, but not diagnosed until 43. I didn't have a laparoscopy because I refused to believe it could be endo but now wish I'd done it 20 years earlier... If you have endo, it's best you go to an endo specialist to remove it as most drs are not experienced in searching for small areas, and what's left can grow.
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