HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Don't want pity; do want solace.

Support Forums
>
Fibromyalgia
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 12/6/2011 7:03 AM (GMT 0)
Hey all,

Fellow Fibromite #90211 reporting in, lol. Mind you, numbers would help us paint a broader picture. Jokes aside, I'm really scared of something; about 2 weeks ago I was diagnosed with C. Difficile and put on a vigorous 10 day, 200 mg each tablet, regimen of antibiotics. 2, maybe 3 days, after I finished them my symptoms have come back with a vengeance, even appearing to have affected higher GI areas than my large intestine alone. I'm now on a 2 week round of the same antibiotics, and if this fails, I'm to be admitted into the hospital for IV antibiotics. Talk about potentially having your own mortality thrown into your face mad

I'm 29 and have been reading up on how hard it is to battle this bacteria. The thing I'm finding curiouser and curiouser is how the antibiotics 'appear' to take away my fibro pains, a welcome relief to say the least. I have been taking my regular meds so to not withdraw, mind you, the 30+ hours sleep over the weekend would have done that anyway shocked However, I've been left weak, dizzy, nauseated to kingdom come, probably malnourished, and miserable. I'm also feeling defeated, angry, and lots of hatred, and sadness because it's just one thing after another with this 'vessel' I live in mad mad mad

I really want to work, have a baby, and basically just LIVE! Everyone around me can work, support themselves, fulfil dreams, and somedays I can't even go downstairs in my own house! Why was I even created? I feel as useless as a duck-billed-platipus and I'm pretty sure 'IT' was created to make God laugh (purpose fulfilled smilewinkgrin Lol). I feel like a leach off my husband; he goes to work and I stay in bed???? NO! This wasn't what we bargained for.

I need to get into counselling, but even with my insurance, there is always a payment that is to be made upfront, and we're FINALLY just building up emergency funds with me only working scattered hours. Wow, and the sad thing is this isn't even half of what else is going on. I also went off Facebook recently because I'm having a hard time appreciating what I DO have and not what everyone else has. I also feel like such a whiny, baby on there where maybe 2 or 3 people truly understand what's going on cry I don't feel like I know who I am any more because it's like the Fibro and multiple illness' have stolen my identity, and have BECOME my identity. Like all I talk about is my health, you know?

With all this, can anyone walk me through some 'baby steps' on how I can 'rediscover' who I am, while incorporating said illness' *they're apart of me now* Also, has anyone else gone on antibiotics and noticed your fibro seems to almost 'shut up' for a few days?? Related somehow???

Thanks for listening everyone smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin If there's ANYWHERE I know to rant, and ask for help from, it's definitely from here.
Posted 12/6/2011 1:24 PM (GMT 0)
Oh, BunBun, I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I did look this up because I wasn't sure what this was.  Are you taking probiotics along with the antibiotics?  From what I read on the Mayo Clinic site, probiotics usually help keep this at bay.  There is a paragraph from the Mayo Clinic site about that.

People in good health don't usually get sick from C. difficile. Your intestines contain millions of bacteria, many of which help protect your body from infection. But when you take an antibiotic to treat an infection, the drug can destroy some of the normal, helpful bacteria as well as the bacteria causing the illness. Without enough healthy bacteria, C. difficile can quickly grow out of control. The antibiotics that most often lead to C. difficile infections include fluoroquinolones, cephalosporins, clindamycin and penicillins.

This link below, from the Mayo Clinic site, mentions using probiotics to help with this.  Whenever you take antibiotics, it kills off all bacteria in your intestines...both good and bad.  This happened with my dog and her staph, pseudomonos, and MRSA skin infections.  These bacteria became "immune" to all the antibiotics the vet was giving her.  So, when there was no more antibiotics to use on her, I tried probiotics on her and it cleared away all the infection!  I'm not a doctor but I don't think it would hurt to start taking probiotics along with the antibiotic.  The antibiotic will kill off most of the probiotics but some may make it through.  You should call your doctor or speak with your pharmacist before you do anything.  I also would continue the probiotics when the antibiotic therapy is finished so you get good bacteria back in your system.  Again, talk to your doctor about this first.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/c-difficile/DS00736/DSECTION=treatments-and-drugs

Another reason you are feeling so lousy is that you are depressed over all of this.  Who wouldn't be...especially as young as you are!  I'm sure your husband would NOT agree with nearly everything you wrote about yourself, either.  He understands that this is totally out of your control and you are following doctor's orders to get well again.  AND that will happen.  This too shall pass.  You are in a rough patch right now and life doesn't seem fair to you at all.  But it does get better.  Once you get a handle on this bacteria and kick it to the curb, you will be well on your way to a fulfilling life ahead. 

Try not to think about illness and pain.  It can become an all-consuming thing and you don't want that.  I know you said it's hard for you to be thankful for the good things but have you ever made a list of all the good things in your life...all of your blessings?  Try that.  Put it down on paper.  You will see the good FAR outweighs the bad in your life.  That brings on hope which brings on some peace of mind.

Even though you are in bed a lot right now, do move as much as you can and do the gentle stretching exercises in Fibro 101.  They can be done easily in bed.  Get some games or crossword puzzles or play Internet games.  Watch funny movies.  If you like to cook, go through some cook books and pick out yummy recipes you will make when you are better.  Just do things to stop thinking about your health. 

Look forward to each new day with anticipation.  It really could be a good one, you know!  If it isn't, you can make it through one day.  Projecting yourself in the future is useless and can cause more pain from worrying about things that might not ever happen!  No one knows the future...including the doctors.  Find things that help you smile.  I know when I smile I always feel better and it makes people wonder what you've been up to!  tongue

Lastly, go into Fibro 101 and scan down until you come to the article called Maintaining a Positive Attitude: Ten Strategies.  This is good advice for any illness...not only fibromyalgia.  This helps me when I have a down period in my life, too.  I hope it help you like it has helped me.

I hope today will be a better day for you, BunBun.  I'll be praying that this round of antibiotics kicks the daylights out of that bacteria!

Sherrine 

Posted 12/6/2011 3:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Bun Bun,

I am so sorry to hear about all of your new health problems on top of what you're already dealing with.

I can completely relate to how you are feeling.

I have also had to give up working and struggle daily with feelings of guilt, sadness, and those dreadful feelings of worthlessness that creep in despite our best efforts to remain positive and optimistic.

I also recently left facebook for similar reasons. I am usually the type of person who wants nothing but the best for everyone and to see them doing well and happy, but I began to feel that I couldn't contribute anything and it was too much of a constant reminder of all that I've had to give up or have lost. I try very hard not to focus on what I don't have, but instead what I do, but it became increasingly more difficult to remember those things and focus on them when I saw how limited I am.

I am so lucky that I have a wonderful and supportive boyfriend who accepts my limitations and loves me without any conditions, however, I feel an extreme amount of guilt that I can't contribute financially and that he shoulders so much of the everyday task's and responsibilities.

I have felt myself gradually slipping into depression and have decided to get therapy to learn how to begin to cope effectively again. I also just joined the depression forum on here. Have you ever been on it? There are wonderfully understanding and supportive people there, it may help.

I'm around your age, 34 so I can relate to alot of what you're feeling. I would be happy to talk with you any time you would like. If you'd like, let me know and I'll give you my email. Did not see if your's was posted. I'll check.

I hope that things begin to turn around very soon with your health and that you get some relief.

Wishing you all the best,

Posted 12/6/2011 4:50 PM (GMT 0)
Bun Bun, I am so sorry that you are faced with this scarey health issue, initially all the what ifs seem to float around in your mind, that is understandable and normal...so is the anger...it will subside when you are ready to let it go...finding acceptance of what is and beleving you will get through it is the answer. Believing things can get better always helps :)

One thing that will help you emotionally is surrendering all your trust that things will be ok...go within yourself to find peaceful solitude. I've found that strength comes from believing you are not alone and good things can still happen.

I'm hoping the round of antibiotics does its magic and you will feel much stronger.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs, Robin
Posted 12/6/2011 5:31 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry you are going through this. The only advice I can give is to work hard at living only in the moment -- not wondering what could have been, the "if only"s, and comparing. You are probably right to avoid Facebook...everybody's life always looks better on Facebook than they really are... :)
Posted 12/6/2011 9:41 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone for your thoughtful words and prayers.

Sherrine, the one thing I can do while I'm on these antibiotics is it least clean so I can get some movements in for sure:) I limit it because I wear myself down if I do too much. Like I said, the pain is basically non-existent on these things which I can't explain. Perhaps the C. Diff. has been eating up all my vitamins and minerals that can also cause the "Fibro pains" I experience. I have been diagnosed with very low Vitamin D, but everything else seems fine, thankfully:) I wouldn't be surprised if the IBS itself I have IS C. Diff. from 2006 because going a LONG time without Vitamin D is very bad, and my true Fibro symptoms started two years after my first IBS attack from Clindamycin. I am now taking about 4000iu of Vitamin D to combat the deficiency;) My nails have also gotten hard enough that I can't bite them anymore...*curiouser and curiouser* I'd LOVE to think this is a working theory, especially because I haven't been to a hospital, nor have I recently had antibiotics, other than what I'm on right now, since last year for an ear infection. Also, I have most definitely been taking probiotics AND eating my yogurt. Thankfully the pharmacist told me ahead of time, but I was already educated *dental assistant* about the effects on gut-flora.

I'm also very well entertained as my wonderful husband opted to get a TV for the bedroom so I could use the computer on days that I could barely move:) I'm typing from said computer right now actually:D Anywho, so now that I'm off Facebook, I am a little less depressed. My brother was actually the one who recommend this 'cleansing' so I thought 'why not? What do I have to lose, Facebook?' The biggest problem I've recently had are in my wrists. I love real-time strategy games, Wii games, Gameboy, etc., but with my wrists hurting as much as they had been, I had to give them up. Now they're not hurting, so I'm hoping to get back to that as entertainment. I also love drawing/painting, and would love to take up knitting/crocheting once I know the strength of my wrists;) Perhaps take the train into U of T and get me some art courses part-time:D

I assure you all that I truly do keep positive. I guess I was just ready to really vent about stuff, so thank you for listening/reading. I am still wondering about anyone else who's been on antibiotics and found it's taking away 'some' of the pain. Something, other than the C. Diff, is eating me up about this. I'm seeing my Rheumy Thursday/Friday so I will definitely keep everyone posted. I'd love to suddenly find out that C. Diff IS FIBROMYALGIA and rid everyone of this dreaded illness.

Until then everyone, hugs for all and have a great day:D
Posted 12/6/2011 10:11 PM (GMT 0)
I read in the past that antibiotics can relieve fibro pain, but when you stop taking them, it comes back. And I don't think we can take them indeifinately. I could be wrong there.

You said something about counseling. I think that would be a good idea. Did you say you have to pay for the initial visit? Or something like that? If you can afford it, I would higly recommend it. It would help you through this rough patch. I go monthly and it really does help me. But my psychologist is familiar with fibromyalgia. She even gives massages as part of her therapy. I am very fortunate.

I hope you get through this soon. I am sorry for what you are going through. I hope that you can get a grip on the depression part as it is a viscious cycle with the fibromyalgia combined.

Everybody has given you wonderful advice so I haven't much to add. I just hope you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/7/2011 5:35 AM (GMT 0)
BunBun....It is hard for all of us to adjust to a new life. We mourn the loss of our old lives.....I truly believe that it is like a death, only we are alive and have to watch everyone we know go through life easily. I remember when I first got dx, I wanted to get out of the house so I went with my husband to the grocery store. I did not go in but waited in the car well by the time my husband came back I was in tears. He was like what wrong and through my sobs I said I am so jealous of all the other woman they making shopping look so easy. However as time goes on you learn to heal over the loss of our old life. You just learn to pace yourself try not to over due it. Let others help and anything you can make easier do.

Keep positive and try to learn to love the new you. I will keep you in my prayers.

Take care, Amy
Posted 12/11/2011 2:59 AM (GMT 0)
BunBun:

I've posted comments to you before (or rather you posted on one of my comments) last June.

I'm the one who was encouraging fibro folks to consider Lyme disease and related co-infections as the root of your Fibromyalgia. You've probably been tested and told you don't have it. BIG DEAL. Are you aware that the standard tests miss 70%+ of the lyme cases. The CDC estimates 9 out of 10 cases get misdiagnosed as something else..Fibro being a very common misdiagnosis.

The symptoms are identical. A good way to see if lyme may be at the root of your Fibro is if your symptoms change / get better while on antibiotics (abx.) Yours seems to be getting better. Makes sense if this is lyme. The drugs are killing bugs.

Some folks get worse before getting better because the ABX kill off a lot of bugs which then causes toxicity in the body and a flare of symptoms. This is called a Herxheimer reaction.

Sorry to hear about the C.Diff. Probiotics are a MUSt while on abx. You need GOOD probiotics like Theralac (on Amazon) or VSL-3 (do a web search.) Also Sacromyces Boulardii (aka Florastor) is a MUSt for keeping C Diff away.

Please please please consider lyme & co=infections as the root of your Fibro. They fact you notice a difference while you are on antibiotics is a great clue.

you need to find an ILADS trained LLMD who can give you proper treatment. I've been on treatment for 19 months now and am 95% back to my old self...almost 100% symptom free!!
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply