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Posted 12/14/2011 9:40 PM (GMT 0)
How many of you are buckling under your huge expectations for yourself around Christmas? Have you been able to let go of a lot of things you did for years that you think your family just couldn't do without? How did you let go without the guilt?

Freddygirl
Posted 12/14/2011 9:52 PM (GMT 0)
I love Christmas and, boy, did I ever do it up right when my children were small.  BUT, I started planning for Christmas the day after Christmas.  I still do.  The day after Christmas I head out and get my beautiful cards for the following year at half price and gift wrap, too.  This means I can be making out my Christmas cards in July if I want to and I can wrap gifts as I buy them throughout the year.  I just wait to add the bows before I put them under the tree.  

 

I always have Christmas and birthdays on my mind whenever I'm shopping in department stores or in little gift shops throughout the year.  My kids are getting some things that I bought last May.  Buying things as you see them helps with the budget, too.

 

All of this is pacing yourself and you really do have to plan ahead for Christmas.  But, the bottom line is, just do the best you can and ask for help, also.  If you have small children, have a house decorating party.  Make a favorite lunch ahead of time and everyone pitch in and get your home festive...together!  Then you can stop for a bite to eat and then finish it up.  Many hands make light work.

 

I'm older now and my children are grown and so I really don't decorate like I used to.  I always put my tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving...but I have an artificial tree.  That makes life easier for me, too.  By the time Christmas rolls around, most of the gifts are bought, the cards usually are done, and I can sit back and truly enjoy this wonderful season.

 

Christmas is all about love.  You love your families and do everything you can for them.  They all know that.  Don't put pressure on yourself with that lousy guilt.  You have nothing to feel guilty about!  You show your love 365 days a year.  That's really the most important thing.

 

Sherrine

Posted 12/14/2011 11:36 PM (GMT 0)
I try to do the same thing getting a head start but I have two little ones still at home and grands. And the must have gifts you find out during the holidays. Was diagnosed back in oct. With lupus, fibro, and sojgens, getting the tree and inside decorations took me two weeks. Shopping still for stocking stuffers and this and that did not get lights on the outside so close now not really worth it. did I feel overwhelmed you betcha would have cried but no tears to cry with. Lol.
But here is the reality I can only do what my body will allow it is a adjustment that not only I will have to figure out but the whole family will to. It has not been easy on any of us but we will make it work. this year we are learning next year we will know how to make it better.
the season is truly about family, friends, And God nothing else really matters. At least that's what I tell myself.
Killed me not to go out and do black Friday that is my favorite holiday.
I go to two stores now and am wiped out for days. Guess it is an adjustment maybe next year I will just go on a cruise let someone else put up the tree and decorations lol.
Posted 12/15/2011 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Fredygirl and Healingwithin....Sherrine said it best "Many Hands Make Light Work". I think that it says it all. Try not ot let guilt be a part of it. Let your family do for you what you have done for them for years, illness happens as a family pull together. I think every year you will learn how to pace yourself better. Pacing is the key word. I wish you all the best this Christmas and enjoy yourself and remember and rest when you need it. Take care of you.

Bless you both, Amy
Posted 12/15/2011 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
I think it depends on how our finances are as to how we fare through the holidays. I did all my shopping early. I was done in November. And I am glad. I can't handle the last minute stress. So I think a lot of planning helps too. I was able to write out Christmas greeting cards without being stressed. I am glad for that one too.

Don't feel guilty for what you can't do. Concentrate on what you can do. Do let others help. Especially if you are having people over to your house. That is a huge responsibility.

I hope that you fare well through this holiday season, all of you!!!

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/15/2011 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
I'm taking on more this year than other years and I was diagnosed in February. I'm having Christmas at my house but it only involves adding my mom, brother and stepdad so you wouldn't think it'd be very much, right? Actually, it's a lot more! I think I'm going to ask my wife for a very clean house for Christmas because that's the biggest and worst part of the whole "getting ready" thing for me. I've got everything else under control. The tree has been up since the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I also shop all year long. Doing a little bit at a time goes a long way.
Posted 12/15/2011 3:55 AM (GMT 0)
My shopping is done, gifts wrapped and mailed out. The house is decorated inside and out. I'm still writing out Christmas cards...my arthritis has been horrible so hopefully they will be done and mailed out by Friday.

This year, I will not be baking homemade cookies or making my usual 6lbs of fudge. I can't do it all this year :) but happy for what I've done!

In recent years I've cut myself some slack, it is less stressful and that's a good thing :)

Hugs, Robin
Posted 12/15/2011 6:27 AM (GMT 0)
Our church did a christmas play this past Sunday about a family of 5 and the mother put some much pressure on herself to do everything to make the perfect christmas.  She was exhausted, frustrated and not very pleasant to be around.  Her husband tried to help out but she wasn't her usual friendly self and even the kids wanted to know when their "real" mom would return.  Anyway in the play, she fell down a flight of stairs and couldn't do anything but sit on the sofa.  There she found the real meaning of christmas.  She was finally able to relax and spend time with her husband and three children, reading the christmas story and enjoying each other.  Christmas came and went without 10 different kinds of cookies being baked, and 50 christmas cards sent out and the elaborate dinner and so on.  I enjoyed that play.  She was a healthy woman and couldn't do it all so how can we expect to do it all.  Life is too short and being with the ones we love is more important during the holidays than anything else. 
Posted 12/15/2011 12:22 PM (GMT 0)
I just loved your story about the play, Sawa!  Thanks for sharing.  It does put things in perspective, doesn't it.

 

Sherrine

Posted 12/15/2011 1:10 PM (GMT 0)
sawa, that is a lovely story!

I'm trying to be good to myself, and my dh also tries to get me to stay levelheaded as to how much I can do. He also keeps reminding me not to stress, things will get done. Yes, b/c I do them, not some magical elf that comes in the middle of the night, lol.

The presents are all bought, most of them wrapped, the house has basic decorations and some baking done. The important baking was my meatpies and the sugar cookies for the kids to decorate. Tonight I'm taking hte kids after school to see Santa and do their Secret Santa gifts to each other, so another thing crossed off my list.

I decided not to do the gingerbread house, homemade gifts, Christmas crafts, and cut way down on the baking. I still need to send out my gifts to those out of town, clean the house and get rooms ready for guests (my MIL for Christmas and my SIL, BIL and their 2 kids for a couple days around New Years). I had also wanted to do more decorations, especially with people coming. I asked dh to leave them out before he went on his business trip beginning of December. He shook his head as he put them away untouched when he came back.

Next week is going to be crazy. Groceries, 2 school Christmas concerts, baking treats for a class party, and work in there.
Yes, I'm still stressed, but probably less than I have been other years b/c I'm lettign things go. Not fully guilt free, but trying. And I am so thankful that my flare ended in time for me to be able to start preperations.
Posted 12/15/2011 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
sawa I loved that story. Think I'm gonna print it to remind me what is really important Thank you
Posted 12/15/2011 7:34 PM (GMT 0)
Sawa, I loved that story too! Thanks for the great conversations about this!

Freddygirl
Posted 12/16/2011 1:24 AM (GMT 0)
Sherrine...wow I need to do the samething that your doing. lol, I say every year I am going to shop early and have it done. HAHA not! I just started shopping today. We picked names for christmas due to everyone being on a tight budget. My decorations were done about a week or week and a half ago. I just did my christmas cards tonight and I still have to shop for my two teens. As usual I am doing my normal routine...the last minute. Will I ever learn? haha

Karen
Posted 12/16/2011 6:12 AM (GMT 0)
Sawa...love the story...thanks for sharing.

Hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

Take care, Amy
Posted 12/17/2011 3:27 AM (GMT 0)
I'm trying to scale back, too...only bringing up the stuff I actually want out this year. Nobody else really seems to notice or care much, anyway. So I'm making ME happy!

Debbie
Posted 12/17/2011 5:06 AM (GMT 0)
I sat back & let my 6 year old son decorate the tree, instead of feeling like I had to run everything
Posted 12/17/2011 6:46 AM (GMT 0)
I started feeling guilty some about buying presents. I caught myself and had a chat with myself. I didn't want to get into anymore debt for gifts that I can't really afford. I wanted to buy a few more things, but I just couldn't get myself to do it. Money is tight, so I am trying to conserve. At least I am going to a free Christmas show tomorrow. This church puts a big broadway show on each year.
Posted 12/17/2011 8:02 AM (GMT 0)
Applevenus....Thats great that your 6 yr.old decorated he probaly loved running the show. I know it is hard not being able to do everything, but I have learned to give up the reins on quite a few things and I have to say I am then able to enjoy the holidays. I hope you have a great Christmas and get to enjoy it.

Bless you, Amy
Posted 12/17/2011 6:52 PM (GMT 0)
Today the kids and I are going to wrap their Dad's gifts, and teh Secret Santas to each other. Then I'm thinking a very easy supper and cuddling on the couch watching Christmas movies (I may get a little shut eye at the same time)
Posted 12/17/2011 9:47 PM (GMT 0)
mamanam, those are the best of times. Enjoy!

freddygirl
Posted 12/17/2011 11:04 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds good to me, Mamanan! 

 

AK Angel, you are not alone and I have to really commend you in using some common sense when it comes to purchasing presents.  I had to cut way back a few years ago and determined how much I could spend on each of my children and I stick to it, also.  They are happy just to have something to open. And you know what?  Everyone will have a wonderful Christmas together and just think how happy you will be come January!  You won't have mountains of bills to pay.  You definitely are doing the right thing.  You are being a good steward of your money.  Congrats!

 

Sherrine

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