I need advice please

Hello everybody, I'm new to this forum and am hoping to find some sort of support and advice. I have been suffering with Fibro and Depression for many years and it seems like this past year has really been bad. Unfortunately, as a result I have just run out of my FMLA time allowed and am pretty sure that I am going to lose my job. My question is should I wait to be fired or quit? I am afraid of needing unemployment and not getting it if I quit, but I think what's worse is if I get fired.. how the heck do I explain why to the next potential employer? I hate living with this... I've tried everything!! I would appreciate any feedback and wish you ALL good health.

Have you tried applying for disability?  I have a lot of health issues and went to several drs and they all said I needed to be on disability.  I applied and got it.  I really didn't want to go that route, but I did and got it.  So I felt like God took it out of my hands and made the decision for me.  But I realize now that I couldn't go back and do my job and do it well.  Every now and then I may have a good day and question about whether I did the right thing, but that thought doesn't last long because then I feel bad the next day and think no way could I work.

You're in a tough spot. I think I would accept being let go if you would qualify for unemployment benefits. Keep in mind that this is not a reflection on you. This doesn't define who you are as a person. When the job market turns around & you are looking for a job & hopefully feeling better,, just be frank about what happened. It's better to do that than for them to think youre hiding something. There's a world full of people who understand how life goes like this sometimes.

Hello ReallyTrying,

I'm also new to this forum and have been reading through these posts. I've recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about 4 months ago after 2 years of being sick and doctors not knowing what's wrong. I work full time and go to college, and both my school and employer know about my health issues. I constantly have to call out because of the pain and issues I'm having. What I want to know is does your employer know about your health condition? If you have a doctor's note explaining what you have and your employer is aware of your illness, legally they can't fire you. It is really hard to live with this and what I can say from what I've experienced is keep your head up. IF you qualify for disability, I say let your job go, your illness doesn't define you and it doesn't make you a bad person because you have issues working. You have to do what is best for yourself and your health. I hope this works out for you. Take Care.

Whooa. . . If you have fibro & depression then you should have gotten FMLA approved for EACH condition. Each approved condition has a seperate clock. Just b/c you run out of time on one condition, does not mean you don't have time left on the other condition. Ask your job about reasonable accommodations. That is covered under the Americans w/disabilities act. If you can work from home or a flex schedule then you might be able to be a lot more productive than you realize. Do you have health insurance through your job? If you do then I would suggest you fight for the job for the health insurance. Call your human resources person first thing in the morning and find out the status of your fmla & the reasonable accommodations. You can also try the EEOC's website and your state's dept of human rights. good luck

Oh my gosh... I am so thank you for ALL of you! When I saw your responses, I cried. I felt like " Wow someone is REALLY listening" and you just don't know what that means to me.
I first want to say that I am so sorry that you all are in this same boat as I would not wish this illness on anyone.
Candleslh- no I haven't applied for disab. I have thought of it, but honestly as a single income, it would have to be my very last option. I do know that it is in Gods hands and THAT is what gets me through.
Gettingby-Thank you so much for your time in responding to me and yes you are right about the 12 months waiting period. If I did that I would lose my small home as well as end up in bankruptcy. So unfortunately that would definitely be a last alternative for me.
Applevenus,PhotoMajor and AkAngel- you all touched me with your supportive words and cried again to hear you say that this does not define me. I think we do begin to think that simply because others on the outside make us feel that way.
Todaysanewday-Thank you so much for providing me with some info I was not even I aware of, I am so thankful to you.
Myself09- yes I actually have been asking myself that question for quite some time. As a nurse, I am glad I'm a nurse but am not happy in my area any longer. I have been trying to seek other jobs, but so far nothing. I know all things happen in their own time and for now I have faith that things will be ok. I am so glad to hear that you are happy doing what you do. That can be such a rare thing said these days.

At the moment I'm waiting on word from HR regarding my status.

Again .. thank you ALL for all your words and time you took out to help me.
I haven't felt such compassion from a group of people than I have felt here.
Oh there I go with the tears again... but they are happy tears of thanks.
I will keep you posted and in my prayers.

Hi bayoub2,

I am so sorry to hear of your situation. It hurts me that we can't have more assistance in such critical times. Please don't apologize as you say you don't have any good advice... I am just appreciative that you took the time out of your day to even respond. Your empathy and support to hang in there is plenty right now.
I like your saying regarding being strong... that's what I need.. thank you

To really trying- I am a retired nurse also. I am not sure were you work at. When I was sick and trying to return to work my employer worked real hard to find an easier job in the hospital with the same pay. I am not sure if you work in the hospital. They did find me a job that was easier at the time. Unfortunately I decided to change jobs and I never new how hard psychiatry teenagers were. I worked 3 yrs. and became over whelm with the stress. Kids were always trying suicide. I couldn't handle it. To this day I am haunted of those memories.

Hi ak angel,
First I want to thank you for your years of service as a nurse. It takes a special person to do such work. I can't even begin to imagine the kind of stress came along with being a psych nurse, especially with teens! God Bless You.
I hate the idea that, here we are Nurses and we want to help others and we end up making ourselves sick in the process.
I wish you well and thanks again :)

Hi really trying,
I'm so glad to hear that you didn't lose your job, just sorry that you are going through so much stress on top of already being in pain :(
I had to stop working a year ago, I also worked in health care so I understand how challenging and exhausting it can be!! I used to leave work after a 12 hr shift and feel like I'd been hit by a truck.
Try not to focus too much on what others think- they don't understand. There's no way they could unless they've experienced it personally.
I hope that everything works out for you. I know how stressful it is, I will be applying for SSD as soon as I recieve an official dx, and have heard what a difficult process it will be!
I trully wish you the best and very much understand what you're going through.

You're so welcome :) I know how hard it is.
You can always vent, that's what we all need to do from time to time.
I vent about it too, my poor boyfriend! He's so good about it though.
I don't understand it either, we're not looking for a handout. And the stress just makes this all the worse. Ugh, so frustrating.
I really wish you all the best. Let us know how you're getting along.

 I can't believe it has been more than a year and a half since my last posting. Things have not gone well in this time.   I'm wish I could say I'm still "ReallyTrying" ... but I just can't. It's just so hard when you feel there just aren't any more options. But one thing I can't forget is how those here, reached out with encouragement and advice. People I didn't even know. People who really cared... and for that I'm thankful. I pray you all are well.

ReallyTrying,

Ditto to what Debbie said. I'm currently involved in some new projects and only pop in here usually in the early morning if time allows, but it feels so good to know I'm not alone in my fibro battles. Between the support here, my faith, and my family, they all carry me through each day.

Please keep posting and don't be afraid to vent about your fibro issues. We do understand and care.

Prayers and best wishes. Hope you have a good day!