Enough is enough

Seriously, I have NO clue why God is doing this to us. What is the goal of having so many passing away at the same time? I found out from my biological mother that my grandmother is not expected to make it and the doctors estimated two to three days. I managed to get to grandma today, although I am sicker as a dog and spent hospital all day yesterday. I had glove up, mask up, but at least I was able to tell gma that I loved her and memories whilst growing up. She has dementia, but in my heart I think she will remember. She even knew who I was today (which is progress). The thing I am scared about- I used to work in a nurisng home and they will get "better" seemingly then pass away. I am worried that she wont make it through the night.

To make it worse, like I said I was in hospital all yesterday. Flare up, Pseudomembranous colitis, gastroenteritis and abdominal pain. I am on some heavy antibiotics now but super contagious hence why when I went to GMA I gloved up, masked up. On the bright side, if she does pass away, Gma's last words were "I love you" after I told her I loved her

I wanna scream, cry, and omg I so need someone to hold me.

I'm trying to keep you guys updated, as you too are family.

Sorry, Smurf. Such a hard time. Try not to ask why (easier said than done) - at least for me that makes it easier. It just is.

Debbie

Hugs and lots of prayers. I know the saying goes that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, that in the worst of times we can rely on Him. And yes, I believe that, but I do wonder just how much is too much? I guess part of it is so we can help others and have understanding of when others go thru rough times. And to give others the chance to help us when we need it. Keep us updated, we care about you.

My heart goes out to you, Smurfy - we don't understand *why* and sometimes it does feel like too much of a burden to carry, but know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers and may it give you some comfort. God is always with us, in us and beside us, sharing our sorrow and our pain, crying with us, and He shows Himself thru those who care deeply about you and who offer you that shoulder to cry on and journey with you thru your pain ...

Food for thought: We were gifted with freedom of will, yes? So, what kind of a God would He be, if He would jump in and control every situation and outcome, to rescue us from all things (whether we thought we needed it, or not), and what would happen to our freedom of will if He did that? To me that would mean, we would only function as puppets and would anything matter to us the way it does now? Where would we have the opportunity to learn about compassion, empathy and understanding for one another, in that case? As difficult as life is at times, I value my gift of freedom to use my will and make choices and am ever-grateful for the blessings - and yes, even the pain in my life, for how else would I have met such kind and wonderful people as all of you?

blessings and peace

P.S. by the way, it's okay to be mad at God - He can take it! :)

I'm so sorry you have to go through this time in your life. I just lost my dad on Christmas Eve. My prayers are with you. Just take it one day at a time, breath, rest, don't forget to take care of yourself, lean on others when you feel you can't go on. I'm still greiving over my loss too. These are the things that helped me.