Day 2 feeling worse and worse

Big dinner tomorrow at my place after church. Recruited hubby and son to help with house cleaning, grocery shopping, etc., the past two days. Today I did some meal preps in advance, thinking if I lessened the work for tomorrow, I'd be in good shape. Well, I'm not in good shape. I started going downhill after a couple of hours into it yesterday. Now I'm in rough shape, every square inch of me is hurting or throbbing or both. I know I've overdone it and am now thinking, is that it for us, for any future entertaining, unless we order in pizza or do take-out??!? How do you all manage with entertaining/dinners? Am I the only one crazy enough to continue to do this? I am an only child so I have no family here other than my quite elderly mum, and my immediate family. No cousins, etc., either, that I could entice into helping out ... I really thought I could manage for tomorrow but now am having "sober second thoughts". Does anyone else go thru this or am I the only crazy one who doesn't seem to be aware of limitations until the tsunami hits? maybe I should have organized a pot luck instead but with all the company coming who are elderly or have various ailments and have a hard time cooking for themselves, I doubt it would work ... I am so frustrated with myself, crying now ... angry with this disease, angry with myself ... today I'm the one who needs blessings and peace to come over me as I'm not doing well at all :(

just needed to rant ... :(

I know it's difficult to entertain, but it can be done.  You will find recipes that are fabulous with very little work.  I love to do ice cream desserts ahead of time....like weeks ahead of time!  I make them up as I go along.  One I love to do at Christmas is you take a chocolate cookie crumb pie crust (already made in the store) add one pint of softened mint chocolate chip ice cream (I get the one that is green).  Pop it in the freezer for a couple of hours to have it set up.  Then add one pint of strawberry ice cream and allow that to set up too.  Top with Cool Whip.  Cover with Saran Wrap and heavy foil and freeze it until a few minutes before serving.  You can make that weeks ahead of time.  The reason I love it for Christmas is that when you cut it it's "red", "green" and white!

 

When I do Thanksgiving (14 people every year), I make the dressing up to one month ahead of time and freeze that, too!  Potatoes are peeled and in the fridge the night before.  In the morning I clean the bird and pop it in the oven, cook the giblets, make easy veggies like green beans with onions or a veggie casserole that can be cooked in the microwave.  I think you are getting the picture. 

 

Don't hesitate to ask for help.  If you are the cook, then have hubby dusting and running the vacuum.  That helps a lot. 

 

The secret is pacing yourself.  I used to be one who had to clean the house and prepare the meal all in one day.  Can't do that now.  I have a sign in my kitchen...."If you've come to see me....Welcome!    If you've come to see my home...Make an appointment!"  That speaks volumes! 

 

Sherrine

angelfeather, I use to do a lot of church functions, but not anymore. The anxiety was not worth all the trouble. I would wory if the house was clean enough or what would people think. I know let the young and new ones have their turn. I am sure your church function will turn out well. After it's all over reevaluate how it went and see if it was worth all the anxiety and trouble. I know some people love to entertain and have house guest. Not me.

Right before Easter we had my gma's funeral, we didn't feel like having people over, as my mom is recovering from surgeries, my sister ah one of a kind so what we did is we chose Burgerville. Its a fast food place, where my 2 brothers are managers at. So one of them called and said "hey expect a large group in about 10 minutes" they said "how do you know" and he goes "well uh its all my family". Caused a laugh, we seriosly took up a fourth of the restraunt, we filled 8 tables. So when we really arent up to it, we make restraunts up to it LOL.

Now on Easter, I have a thing I did. I started with the living room the friday before Easter, dusted, vacuumed. Felt like fibromite was going to eat me, so I sat down and watched tv for an hour.... while folding laundry. Went in the kitchen and did a load of dishes, Sat for an hour, back to the laundry. Then bed. So Saturday, the day before Easter I made the deviled eggs, green salad, fruit salad and did it all sitting down (I took a chair with wheels and wheeled around the kitchen LOLOL). Took a hour break. Then I cleaned the dining room. Took a 2 hour break, set the table. And sighed. Then I took a break while sighing and saying this is too much. Then I remembered Oh crap I forgot the pies!. So I sent my dad to the store for already made pies hehe. So all I did was put the made pies on china. Then I quit for the day. Easter Sunday I made the ham and liver and stuffing with breaks. Then I brought out our first course, salad. Then I talked my little brother into helping hehe... He got the ham, liver, stuffing out of the oven and My other grandmother, decided to help with clean up. She rinced and stacked all the dishes. I put left overs away. TOok a 3 hour break. then loaded and ran the dishwasher. In the midst of it, got cussed out by my bipolar sister for everything on the end of earth who obviosly doesnt take her much needed meds. But the point of this story is, remember those breaks!

Thank you all so much for your replies, I really appreciate your supportive and encouraging words. Am still in recovery mode today - not been sleeping well since Thursday night so that doesn't help. Every square inch of me is in a tsunami and I'm barely able to sit here. I saw your replies Sunday evening but was too tired and in pain to reply. I'll try now ...

Starry-Eyes - thank you for understanding and for your good ideas. Sounds like your hubby was much like mine is - mine hasn't mastered cooking yet, but is a wonderworker with kitchen cleanup. He claims (and he's right) that he has it down to a science now :)
There were 8 people, so it "should have been" doable - and it's the pressure I put on myself with those the "should haves" that is killing me. I'll put that on my list to discuss with the psychologist.

Sherrine - thank you for your suggestions, recipe ideas and advice. Pacing myself is yet to be learned - on my "to do" list, LOL. Hubby and son do almost everything around the house already - they are in charge of all the cleaning and I do the cooking. I have no problem asking for help but they are also very quick to anticipate when I need it. I'm very blessed to have them in my life, both my son and my husband have good, kind hearts and are super caregivers. I did try to keep it simple and bought many prepared foods like potato salad, cabbage rolls cooked the day before, and frozen stuffed chicken breasts that I could just pop into the oven to cook, but I thought I could manage making three simple dishes: red pepper and zucchini salad with a raspberry vinaigrette, shrimp couscous (which is a quick prep) and brussel sprouts in lemon butter with caraway seeds - but it was all tough to do that morning as my helpers were in church. I ended up overdoing it because it had to be done.

AK Angel - thank you for your kind supportive words. You're so right that entertaining is very anxiety-producing! If I had to do the prep work "all" myself, I just wouldn't do it. Luckily, my "crew" started cleaning several days in advance, doing a couple of rooms a day so we were in great shape that way. It's just that I have a hard time being left on my own to cook for even a couple of hours. I learned that the hard way on Sunday. By the way, this was not a church function, it was a family function after church with all elderly people over 70, some who are widowed and living alone, who don't cook for themselves and consequently don't eat well. I tried to make it well-balanced brunch and ended up nearly collapsing halfway thru the afternoon.

Spookiesmom - thank you for the good suggestion - I didn't even think of our local grocery store as we usually shop at Costco and pick up a few items there. But the local grocery store would do prepared foods such as you mentioned so I'll write it down for next time.

SmurfyShadow - I'm so sorry for your grandmother's death - you have a lot to deal with family illnesses/issues and this funeral must have been very difficult to go thru on top of everything else. My heart goes out to you. May your grandmother's soul rest in eternal peace, in a place where there is no more pain, suffering or sorrow.
I hear you about your sister ... I have a SIL who is not bipolar, but she's certainly, uhm, impossible to have a relationship with. You were so wise to know to take breaks ... that's my downfall, I don't always hear my body's cries for rest until it's screaming in agony. By then it's gone into tsunami. This brunch was particularly difficult because for a few hours on Sunday morning, I was on my own - no one was there, they were all in church. Usually I would have an extra pair of hands around to do peeling, cutting up, and stirring the food in the pan on the stove, but this time, it worked out that I "thought" I could manage for a few hours, and found out that I couldn't. Will know for next time, that's for sure. No more Sunday brunches - we'll go have brunch out somewhere. Yes, I hear you - will try to remember to take breaks, thank you.

Grandmaroses - thank you for your empathy and kind words. My hubby would have BBQ'd had the weather been cooperative and had he been home to do it, but I'll know now that Sunday brunches just don't work for me. Like you, I also was raised that you don't leave someone's home without helping with cleanup and dishes - but when you've got a houseful of elderly seniors who have bad eyes (dishes are never truly "clean" when they help), shakey hands, etc., I don't want them anywhere near my kitchen, LOL. My husband and son take care of all the cleanup so the guests can have their visit in the meantime. You're absolutely right - the strong support team is everything, and usually I would have a "work crew" on a "normal" day. It was poor planning on my part this year, "thinking" I could, when really, I couldn't manage on my own. I loved that you are planning an "intervention" with one of the girlfriends ... my first smile in three days! :)

Thanks again, everyone - your words have been taken to heart and there will be no more fantasy thinking on my part! :)

blessings and peace

Well gee, now I feel like a real loser.  You are all so creative!  I'm the one who honestly never understands why we can't just have sandwiches for Thanksgiving - it would leave so much more time and energy for catching up with family!     But - - hubby can't stand my brother and his wife, so we don't spend too many holidays with them.     Since my parents are now gone, there is no other family.  Hubby makes the turkey, the girls and I do the other dishes, none of them elaborate.

When my mom and dad died (four and a half months apart, in 2008) I wanted to have people over to the house after the memorial services at church.  But - -  (1)my house is a pigsty (2)no one will help me clean it.  Lord knows I can't do it.  I've lowered my standards about a kadrillion % since I was young (thanks, Fibro) but even I have some pride.  (Besides, at that point I was so shattered that nothing seemed to matter much.  We would have had to board the dogs, deep clean, $$$ yada yada .....) 

As you can guess, this all adds up to virtually NO entertaining.

At church potlucks, 9 times out of 10, I bring a bag of chips.  No one expects more.  They know me too well, and love me anyhow.  But then, I guess that's the idea, isn't it? 

Sorry for the poor-me rant, Angelfeather!  I'm glad you got through your dinner in one piece, and hopefully you were able to enjoy it.  I know you're tired now and hurting...is it getting a little better?

Debbie        

Aww, AcheyBody, I feel for you - that's gotta be hard to live with, not having help to clean the house! I freak out when my son is in a hurry to go somewhere and neglects to tidy up the bathroom after he's done showering and shaving! I'm a blinkin' perfectionist, though, which can be a problem too. I can imagine it would be pretty depressing and discouraging to live in a mess all the time. I think you need a medal, a tiara and a trophy just for putting up with that!

Yes, I hear you about having to lower the standards ... I'm getting there ... slooooowly ... I have to otherwise I'll drive myself crazy.

There was nothing "poor me" about your comment, AcheyBody, and you can feel free to rant away any time! I would love to be able to deep clean your house with recruits - and it's the thought that counts, so I'm thinking it and sending you a warm gentle hug as encouragement.

Yes, thanks, I got thru the brunch, then collapsed halfway thru the afternoon - had to leave the "party" to go upstairs and lie down. Must have dozed on and off because everyone was gone when I went downstairs - didn't hear a thing.

I'm not doing well today, still in tsunami mode but the waves are not as severe. I think with a good night's sleep tonight (we can only hope, right?) I'll be in better shape tomorrow - all indicators seem to be pointing to that.

And by the way ... sandwiches at any time sound great to me - especially the fancy crustless sandwiches ... yummy :)

blessings and peace

Nana68, thank you for sharing and for your empathy ... I still think the weather must have something to do with the pain we experience. It can't all be due to overdoing activities or chores - and the weather has been crazy all over this planet this year. I'm sure when there's a tornado somewhere in the U.S., us fibromytes in Canada can feel it in our bodies!

blessings and peace