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Did Fibro force you to lower your standards?

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Posted 4/20/2012 6:26 PM (GMT 0)
I know pacing is important, although many times I still overdo and pay the price...more than I should. My problem is my Type A personality lets me think things need to get done in a certain way. In recent years, I been working towards " good enough" rather than perfect.

Setting a schedule and asking for help has helped me. My hubby doesn't always do things the way I would do them but I'm learning to let those things not get to me. Adapting to change isn't always easy but necessary when you're tired and hurting.

My house has that lived in feeling and I guess it is more comfortable than looking like a room in a magazine. If I'm feeling less stress and  tired...it is worth it. turn

Hugs, Robin

 

Posted 4/20/2012 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
Its absolutely worth it but I am the same way so I can't personally say I would be able to handle that. :)
Posted 4/20/2012 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
Oh my dea Robin it's surprising how much a person can learn to settle with. I love a clean organized home, I live in a cluttered, no way organized mess. My hubby does not lift anything when he dusts so you can imagine how pleased I am when my daughter comes over to lend a hand.

I have compromised on the housework, including laundry, I can no longer groom my dogs so their care is compromised as well. In every aspect of my life I have either given up totally or made radical compromises. I have my moments where I turn into a blubbering idiot but in the end I know my hubby and the boys could do a much better job keeping the house and yard the way I like it but then they were never comfortable in it the way it was so its now comfy for them and I will learn to accept the things I can not change.
Posted 4/21/2012 1:53 AM (GMT 0)
Yep, me too. I never was a Mrs. Clean Jeans, but my house sure was better looking before fibro got me. Windows? Who needs to look out anyway? LOL!!! I've learned that dust is a protective covering for furniture.

The only thing that makes me crazy is this time of year when the oak trees drop some nasty stuff. It sticks to Spookies fur, which is quite long, and she drags it in the house, the bed, everywhere. I could sweep 10 times a day, and still not get it all.

I gave up trying to keep a clean car too. It's worth it to me to take it to the car wash and let them do it. My car is an 02, got it new, and have NEVER washed it myself. When I was working, I was supposed to wash my school bus. All 35 feet of it. RIIIIIGGGGHHHHHTTTTT inside and out.
Posted 4/21/2012 3:52 AM (GMT 0)
My standards were never as high as some people's, though much higher than they are now. But I try not to think about it, because what's the point? If and when I'm able to do more, it will be a happy day! Until then, it is what it is. A mess.

I do manage to keep about 10 houseplants alive :)

Debbie
Posted 4/21/2012 1:01 PM (GMT 0)
'Good enough' is my motto also.  I just can't worry about the state of the house anymore.  It's funny...I was looking at some pictures of our living room back when my kids were toddlers...good grief!  It looks like there was a glazed donut stuck to the lamp shade....not too sure.  Anyway, I try to put it in perspective!

huggies

Donna

Posted 4/21/2012 2:16 PM (GMT 0)
Yeah, I wish I could do more sometimes. Everything has become a trade off both inside and outside the home. If I do X, then I won't be able to do Y, but if I just do part of X, then I maybe can get some of Y done. Sometimes, though, I'm like, "Oh the heck with it, I'm just gonna go do Z" (Z meaning a book or a movie, of course turn )
Posted 4/21/2012 2:23 PM (GMT 0)
Robin,

It sounds as if you're handling our limitations well. I would be curious to know if a confessed type A personality does caffiene and sugar? Does exercise help like a nice walk?

Take care.
Posted 4/21/2012 3:28 PM (GMT 0)
It takes some restraint for me not to get up and grab my swifter sweeper and follow my cats around...right now they are shedding and all cat hair on the wood floors gives the appearance of some bad fur rugs...yuck

I cannot say I'm sugar or caffeine free....when it comes to walking, I'll always go farther than I should. The other day I walked close to 2 miles wearing those crazy shape up shoes. It was my first day out without my cane...able to get around without it now....I always have an off an on relationship with my it, depending if my sciatica is bothering me.

My hubby is a really laid back kind of guy...never stresses or worries...he balances me out.

Hugs, Robin
Posted 4/21/2012 3:29 PM (GMT 0)
I try to keep things picked up and put away.  I remind myself that it's easier to put something away while it's in my hand then it is to lay it down and then have to go back and do it anyway.  Of course I'll have an armload of things to put back by then! 

 

My home was always kept neat and clean.  Now it's just neat...only because you would have to put me in a padded room if it had a lot of clutter.  I do have two areas in the house that I can't keep uncluttered...my computer desk and my dresser.  I've always had a problem with the top of my dresser...even as a small child!  My daughter, God love her, will vacuum for me most every week...without my asking! 

 

But you know what, I'm happier this way.  My perfectionism was driving me crazy and everyone around me crazy, too.  Now, I just let it ride.  I would be willing to bet that our homes are cleaner than most healthy people's homes!  We are just too tough on ourselves. 

 

Sherrine

Posted 4/22/2012 4:16 PM (GMT 0)

I'm the same as you, Sherrine--I would need a rubber room if I let things get cluttered!  I'm also a Type A personality, and it's a struggle to let things go--I try to stop at "good enough" and not let my perfectionism rule the roost, with varying degrees of success.  

Posted 4/22/2012 9:46 PM (GMT 0)
For awhile I reached the "I-Give-Up" stage because I simply couldn't function between the depression, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. Now that my body is tolerating things better I'm trying to dig out of the hole I created for myself. It's not fun trying to play "catch up" around the house and feels very overwhelming. I'm trying to tackle one project at a time. If I think of the everything it feels unbearable right now (worse because things are magnified by the recent loss of my husband in March). On the other hand, I have an extra 'nervous energy' that I'm dealing with as part of my grief, so I'm trying to capitalize on that and get some stuff done while I can.
Posted 4/23/2012 1:18 AM (GMT 0)
Absolutely! I joke about being a bit OCD, but it really only extends to everything being organized, in the spot where it belongs and all the trash taken care of. I've definitely had to let go quite a bit since being diagnosed, though. I have to ask my wife and kids to do stuff sometimes and I have to just grit my teeth and say thanks when it's not done to my (admittedly strict) standards. Things also get let go a lot longer than they used to and it's starting to bother me less and less. The kids let me know when they're getting low on underwear and I wash their clothes, usually one load per kid, and the same with our clothes. It pays to have less clothes to force you to do less more often.
Posted 4/27/2012 7:52 PM (GMT 0)
Right now I have a housekeeper because I am still working and can't do it all. But I do worry that when i am on disability the expectation will be for me to keep the house at the same level of clean and "save" money by cancelling the help I am getting because being at home would mean i had the time to do it. I know i can't clean house...mopping would put me down for a couple of days...our house is all tile and no carpet. This is a big concern for me about other people thinking that im home all day and should be doing something to contribute...but there are so many things I can't do anymore :(

I cancelled our housekeeper for 2 months to see what would happen and no one lifted a finger except for laundry and dishes for that whole time. My kids can help (8, 10) but I also don't think it is fair to put all my responsibilities on them. I am grateful I can afford the help for now.

I love the flylady website for advice on doing little things everyday or a weekly project to help keep the clutter down at home and in life in general.
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