Just a bit of dark humour venting...
Oh, you say your pain levels are high... Have you tried
walking? Yes? Oh.
What about a nice hot cup of tea or a hot pack? Oh. You
have.
What about deep heat? What do you mean of course? Oh. I
suppose you probably COULD have thought of that on your own, yes.
Well, just take a Panadol.
...What do you mean I can stick the Panadol where the sun
doesn’t shine? That’s not very nice.
All I’m saying is that seeing as there’s no observational
and objective evidence of pain, it would be unwise to just throw you on
medication that has nasty side effects.
You sound anxious, are you depressed at all?
No? Are you sure? Here, have this questionnaire, it will assess
how you’ve felt over the past two weeks.
Why? Because I’m worried that you have depression.
...
Saying there’s no observational and objective evidence of
depression is just plain wrong. That’s what the questionnaire is for.
Well no, I hadn’t thought that a patient could just lie on
the form. Are you lying when you say you’re happy?
I can’t help you if you refuse to acknowledge there is a
problem. Look, I’ll just write you a prescription for antidepressants, give
them a go. You might be surprised how good you start to feel.
Now, now, there’s no need to swear. You know, I think you’ll find this anger will
really settle down once the anti depressants kick it.