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need encouragment please sorry it is long

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Posted 7/12/2012 3:53 PM (GMT 0)
Having a terrible day, and I know everyone here will understand. Dh and my mom both have tried to get my spirits up but i feel they do not understand.

I posted yesterday how the rain was giving me pain. Today it is still raining so i am having pain still. Woke up to a small nose bleed. Scared me as i am taking blood thinner. Tuesday, since my blood level was 1.7 and they want it at least 2.5 they sd to take 8 mg on tues and 6 mg the other days. My primary care dr called this morning saying they rec the level report and to change to 7 mg every day. Said to just tell the clinic when i go back on tuesday. And did i say I woke with a terrible head ache?

I am getting so confused, it is hard enough for me to remember to take my meds at the right time (10 pills at night and 5 in mornings). But to keep changing them is a nightmare.

I am feeling so down. Started crying while talking to dh on phone. Sometimes think i can not take much more and wonder why i made it through all the recent med problems.

Then found out dh may have to work overtime on sat, so there goes going out most of the day. Going stir crazy also.

Sorry to bother you all but with the pain from the fibro and the other probs added, just needed to vent and let it out to someone who will understand.

 

Posted 7/12/2012 4:02 PM (GMT 0)
Vent away Diva. Hugs to you. I understand the going stir crazy. Even when I am at the office all day, I still feel the stir craziness. Though I am nervous about going out by myself.. (long story) lol..

Thinking of you. Hugs!
Amy
Posted 7/12/2012 4:13 PM (GMT 0)
LOL. I can not even relate to my forum name. No longer working. Has anyone ever felt like their life has changed so much, you no longer feel you are the same person? Dh tries to help, but I want to yell at him

"You do NOT understand. I know you love me, but I do not love myself right now." I hate hurting and all the medical problems keep adding on.

Thanks for reading

Posted 7/12/2012 4:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

I am sorry that things have changed so much for you. It is hard to accept change sometimes, especially when it impacts our lives in such a way that we feel alienated to life in general. You will get use to this though. Try not to rely on your husband to make your day. Do something nice for yourself. Something nurturing. It really helps. Can you get out and go for a walk? That always makes me feel better and sort of grounds me.

I really hope that you feel better soon.

Take care...

Keep posting, that is what this forum is for...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/12/2012 4:45 PM (GMT 0)
Oh dear, it's so frustrating to have things change. I am used to my hubby working overtime I know they close on Sunday so that's my day. I keep a book by my pills and when I need to change things I write it down so I do not get confused.
Being on blood thinners sounds like you are being monitored so please try to relax stress certainly can make our fibro worse.
Rest, and vent do whatever it takes to make you feel a little better.
Posted 7/12/2012 5:16 PM (GMT 0)
Diva, I get that feeling. Before Fibro, I was so healthy.. Rarely a cold. Now I feel like I am falling apart. Learning my limitations and sticking with them is the hardest part for me. When I run out of energy and can't even focus to play a board game with my kids, it kills me.

DH tries to help as well. However, I know it's taxing on him. We went on a date night, I had to come home early because I was exhausted. I feel badly for him. But he says he understands. I don't quite think he does as he isn't experiencing it. I think I will have him read the spoon theory that was on Fibro101.. Awesome way to explain what our lives are about now.

Hang in there hun..

-Amy
Posted 7/12/2012 5:27 PM (GMT 0)
I have not been healthy for a long time. We had a motorcycle wreck right after we got married back in 1983. It really messed up my right ankle so i limp and can not stand or walk for very long at a time. I learned my limitations and worked off and on till i had trouble with my shoulders that limited repeative movement. I was on ssi for a few years. My shoulders were dealt with and went back to school and got the call center job.

So getting out and walking is not a big option for me as also due to the seizures they do not want me walking much without someone with me.  I limp and it hurts my ankle and back.

I can not do water therapy as I am terrified of the water.

It just seems like when things get going better, something bad happens. Waiting for the other shoe to drop is normal for me.

Driving is not allowed until at least Oct 4 when the neuro may release me to drive. Can not even online shop any more due to all the medical bills.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

Posted 7/12/2012 5:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Diva, I'm sorry you are going through this. Some days are just plain overwhelming...emotionally and physically draining. We do understand the frustration. Physical pain can bring on emotional pain...all the change can make you feel like you are losing your inner peace.

Times where I'm down the most, I need to struggle to try to stay strong...I really have to make an effort to push myself to just take care of myself. There are days I spend my time psyching myself up just to be proactive...it helps me feel as if I still have some control.

Wishing better days ahead for all of us!

hugs, Robin
Posted 7/12/2012 6:03 PM (GMT 0)
Im new to these forums and may or may not have what you are dealing with, but I've plenty to deal with (morphea, lichen sclerosis, crohns and now...maybe this).

The way I always look at it is this is something to try to live around Karen...not through.  Most of the time I succeed in keeping that thought first.  But there are times honey when the "uglies" get ahold of me and i feel defeated and lost in it all.

At those times I find it best to offload some of the "ugly" on those that understand it best.  I'd just like to say I'm glad you have such a place to rant, cry, rejoice and commiserate with others at.

Big, soft hugs!

Posted 7/12/2012 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry, Diva. Eck. You have been through SO much!

I've been fighting depression a bit myself, on a smaller scale. I can still go out, but am on a bunch of drugs that are affecting my mood, plus I'm sick of my limitations...you know. So I've been pep-talking myself, too. It's amazing how much energy that takes some days. I guess one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, is all we can do.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

Hugs, Debbie
Posted 7/13/2012 1:18 PM (GMT 0)
Diva, I hope today finds you in better spirits.  Please try not to focus on how you feel and your health problems.  Find something good to occupy your time.  I did.  This was when I got into genealogy and, boy, talk about occupying my time!  The days fly by when I'm doing that.  I not only research family members, but also where they lived and what was going on in that period of time!  Ancestry.com is a huge help, too, and I can pull up old census' and even draft cards!  I'm creating family history books for my children. 

 

If you like artsy things, there are numerous projects you could start now.  Save money by making Christmas gifts.  One trip to an arts and crafts store should give you heaps of ideas.

 

Yes, we are different but so is everyone else.  I wouldn't want to be the same person I was 20 years ago.  I'm not fond of having so many illnesses but they have made me grow into a better person, I feel.  The happy-go-lucky, not-a-care-in-the-world person is gone.  Instead I am more thoughtful of others, more compassionate and caring, more understanding, and I have more wisdom, too.  I think that's the direction that God wants us to head anyway.  I'm still metamorphosizing but, with the help of fibro and my other illnesses, I think I'm becoming a better person.  It causes me to think, to figure out ways to work around the problems and I'm proud of myself when I do!  

 

So, hopefully the rain has stopped, the sun is shining, and you are greeting this new day with anticipation.  We don't know what it holds for us but we do know we can handle it.  Anyone can handle one day.  

 

Sherrine 

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