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Very Personal Question....

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Fibromyalgia
Were you sexually abused as an adult or child?
Yes - 44.4% - 8 votes
No - 55.6% - 10 votes
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Posted 9/20/2012 3:44 PM (GMT 0)
...but it may help others and it will help me.

I am the spouse of a FMS sufferer. She could be described as functional with some bad days that keep her in bed.

My personal question is....

were you ever sexually abused in the past? And if you were, did your fibro occur within a few years of it, or did it occur ten or more years later?

If you were not sexually abused, did you have any other major abuse occur? Or was there another event that may have triggered your fibro?

I wonder because in my research, I find that there are many who have fibro and are victims of sexual abuse. It does not mean that the fibro is not real. One person who has fibro described it to me as if the body was so taken over with emotional and mental pain that it triggered physical pain.

Yes, my wife was. I don't think the details are necessary but let it suffice to say that it was traumatic.
Posted 9/20/2012 4:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there...welcome to the boards..

We just had a poster start a thread asking this with a poll just like you started so I am posting that link for you to read through.

I think that many times it may "seem" to be causal but sexual abuse for women is extremely common in their lifetime as well as Fibro is also now very common.

We certainly know that emotions can cause our health issues to be worse....but I don't think there has been any direct link from one to the other in this area.

If your wife is still suffering emotionally from events in the past then I strongly recommend she seek out treatment from a Psychologist or Pscychiatrist to work through this together. Thankfully she also has a supporting spouse.

And then for her Fibro...I hope she is seeing a Board Certified Rheumatologist who treats her Fibro in the best way possible. Please have her feel free to come and join the boards as well if she chooses.

You can also view the sticky at the top of this board called Fibro 101 that has many great tips on living with Fibro...

The link I mentioned is here:https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=24&m=2513923

Posted 9/20/2012 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
I think fibro can be triggered by any sort of trauma but not sexual abuse specifically.   It seems you are looking for answers, but it's not useful to over analyse.  Nobody knows for sure why someone has a specific illness and there hasn't been enough research on fibro to know yet the cause or a cure.  Just be supportive to your wife in whatever way she needs.
Posted 9/20/2012 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
Fibro is so unpredictable. The cause is unknown but a lot of speculation about stress and nerve damage has been in the research I have read. Some ppl and doctors believe fibro is not real and some know it is. Living with someone with fibro is probably just as frustrating to as it to the one with fibro. I have a very understanding family and friends that really support me. Supporting me helps so much with fighting off the depression and the anxiety of not physically being the person I once was. I am only 45 and should still be having fun vacationing and playing with kids, going to the beach, camping,fishing and all the other activities our family has always enjoyed. I can't stand the heat, the cold, standing, sitting, walking, etc. But with support of my family, we do things at home now on my good days. Believe me, the bad days outway the good days anymore. My point being, just support your wife and understand this is a lifelong condition that does not get better.
Posted 9/20/2012 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
Not sexual abuse, as far as I know/remember, but verbal as well as physical from my mother from as long as I can remember. She is a holocaust survivor who never worked through her own problems and took her rage out on her children. She was in ten slavor labor camps and I believe that 2.5 year experience sucked everything out of her. She simply did not know how to nurture. She cared for her children, food, clothing, necessities, but no emotional bond. I didn't understand it until I was in my 50s (I am 61) now and went through psychotherapy.

I was also involved in a car accident that injured my cervical spine and bruised my collarbone, about two years before my FM diagnosis.

Hope this helps you,

Miriam

Posted 9/20/2012 9:02 PM (GMT 0)
Nope--no sexual abuse here.

I'm with capstjacques. And I wonder if lots of 'little' traumas (that may have seemed big at the time, when we were small) might not add up to an 'overload' in our bodies, putting our nervous systems and muscles into high gear for too long.
Posted 9/21/2012 11:39 AM (GMT 0)
JamesMcD:  Just want to say I think it's so thoughtful of you to be concerned about your wife and her health.  We would all surely welcome her here, as well. Best wishes to both of you. :)
Posted 9/24/2012 3:07 PM (GMT 0)
James,

A similsr survey and question a week or two ago

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=24&m=2513923

Posted 9/25/2012 6:04 AM (GMT 0)
No abused here. But my sypmtoms started about 12 months after the birth of my first son. I had to have an emergency c-section after my heart rate dropped and then his dropped. At the time they called it a "crash c-section" because they were worried about me surviving surgery.
Posted 9/25/2012 6:22 AM (GMT 0)
I think this is just another way of saying 'it's all in your head'. Of course some people with Fibro will have been abused. I'm willing to bet it's just as many as don't have Fibro.
Posted 9/25/2012 11:00 AM (GMT 0)
None here
Posted 10/3/2012 6:14 AM (GMT 0)
No abuse here - but worsening symptoms with each pregnancy...and an emergency C-section, too. Also got 3rd-degree back burn as a teenager, so definite trauma.

Debbie
Posted 10/10/2012 1:43 PM (GMT 0)

Kaely said...
I think this is just another way of saying 'it's all in your head'. Of course some people with Fibro will have been abused. I'm willing to bet it's just as many as don't have Fibro.

No, it is NOT a way of saying it is all in your head. After ten years with my wife having fibro, I know that it is not all in her head. She delivered four children and had no pain meds for three of them. I know she can handle pain. However, her fibro came after all of the children were born, so I do wonder if she could handle the pain as she did then.

My goal is simply to see if I can find some way of helping her. If these questions are not asked, then answers cannot be found. Besides, even if it is psychosomatic, the pain is still real. It has been said that fibro patients are more sensitive to pain. Does that make it any less real? Does that make it less respected? But IF it were psychosomatic and this was discovered, then wouldn't it be great if this led to a treatment that eliminated the pain?

I have no doubt that my wife would say yes.

Interesting that some of you mentioned the fibro starting after the birth of your child(ren). My wife said that her first pains started shortly after the birth of our fourth. This could be a connection.
Posted 10/10/2012 5:30 PM (GMT 0)
The best way my husband helps is by listening. My symptoms change so he can tell when it begins to hurt me to walk and will jump right in so things keep rolling. Hang in there. THis in so many ways is actually harder for him than me. I am almost to a point of been there, done that. But it is so hard for him to not be able to stop my bodyf rom attaking me.

My husband does help keep the drama down. Stress is bad, just like the weather. Staying around here and reading and talking with your wife about her fibro symptoms will help you understand what you are dealing with and what you can do to make it better for the both of you.

I am w/o glasses..miss read things..mistyped....?
Posted 10/11/2012 4:10 AM (GMT 0)
I was not sexually abused as a child. My pain started after a car accident where I hit a deer when driving home with my daughters in the car. I think the trauma of the accident and the immediate fear that my daughters might get hurt were probably the trigger that started it all.
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