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Posted 10/11/2012 4:00 PM (GMT 0)
My family has suffered a great loss and I've had the worst were I can think of. I'm heavily sedated and going into it all makes me fall apart. If you guys can keep us in your thoughts and prayers I would more than appreciate. When I can think I will come back and tell you about it.
I posted this here because, despite not having , you all were angels to me through the diagnosis phase. I can't say how much I appreciate every single one of you.
Posted 10/11/2012 4:01 PM (GMT 0)
My thoughts for you at this time.
Posted 10/11/2012 4:04 PM (GMT 0)
Angelic, many prayers are heading your way for you and your family.  Take one day at a time and this horrible time will pass for you. 

 

Sherrine

Posted 10/11/2012 4:35 PM (GMT 0)
Prayers headed your way.
Posted 10/11/2012 4:49 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry...you and your family are in my prayers.

Take Care

Hugs, Robin

Posted 10/11/2012 6:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hope all gets better for you. Know that we all care and are praying for you and thinking about you.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 10/11/2012 9:57 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry. Prayers for you, and know eventually, things will change. God bless you.
Posted 10/11/2012 10:14 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry you're having to deal with this tragic event. I hope the pain will fade away soon and all you have will be good memories. Thoughts are with you.
(((((((((((gentle hug))))))))))))
Posted 10/11/2012 11:26 PM (GMT 0)
Angelic, I am sending prayers and love. May God wrapped his arms around you and your family in your time of need.
Posted 10/12/2012 12:56 AM (GMT 0)
My grandfather, who was my fathe figure, died Tuesday afternoon. It was heartbreaking and I had to be sedated. I'm not coping well but I have a wonderful husband and mother in law. His visitation was today but I could make it 39 minutes. My aunt told me to suck it up because my grandmother need me to be strong, mind you I'm still sedated. Then my mom agrees until my husband joins me. Then she starts telling me to only do what I could handle. Mind you I was quietly crying, no hysterics. Then my sister sent me a text saying I should be ashamed for showin up drunk ( it was the clonazepam).
Then I come home Tuesday from telling him goodbye and my car has amajofly broken leg! The vet said its the type of injury they see when they get hit by cars by Mojo is an indoor cat! They called to see what I wanted ( options fix it with pin, cast it and hope or amputate) I told them to do what was best for Mojo. Now we can't afford our vet bills.
On the war back from the vet my mom broke to me that she may have terminal cancer. She went on to say I have to make her medical decision and I'm here executor and to take of my sister.
All this in 24 hours vi started having panic attacks and I can't eat or sleep. My husband took me to the dr and I got some new meds.
I so appreciate all the thoughts and prayers. He was the best man I ever met. All my good qualities are from him. I can't imagine my life without him. I'm glad he's out of pain and I know he's happy. It's a catch 22 for me.
Posted 10/12/2012 2:12 AM (GMT 0)
Prayers for you and your family in this time of need.
Posted 10/12/2012 2:14 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry you've had to deal with so much all at once. Any one of those things would be difficult. I'm glad your husband is supporting you through this. I pray that you are able to find peace and that your husband will find the strength he needs to help you through this.
Posted 10/12/2012 4:32 AM (GMT 0)
Goodness! When it rains it pours, babydoll!
I think I would be in the same state if all of that was piled on top of me at once.
Hang in there, honey!
Posted 10/12/2012 4:53 AM (GMT 0)
i am so sorry for you loss.......When you are feeling alone bring these post back up to see how much love and support you have!!

PLEASE take care...

Azumi

 

Posted 10/12/2012 5:17 AM (GMT 0)
Goodness, what an ordeal you're going through! Many prayers heading your way.

Debbie
Posted 10/12/2012 8:52 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much. I was convinced that maybe I was being dramatic or selfish. I adored my grandfather. He was the one who "got" me. Taught me to drive, tried to always encourage me and made sure I always felt included. I was a step child adopted into their family when I was very young. He always considered me his first grandchild. He taught me basketball ( he was a state champ in school), howled to drive and he never was panicky, and he taught me that blood or no you could still be family.
Mom won't know for another week. So please pray for good results. I feel like that's all I do is ask for prays.
My cat, mojo, is doing great. He hates his cone of shame and he has a huge cast. We should be able to come. My house feels empty
As far as I go, I hate making people worry. Ive always been emotionally closed off. I save it till o come home but this time I can't control it. I'm having panic attacks on top of the crying. My dr gave me clonazepam to help because I can't eat or sleep. I appreciate the outpouring of love and prayers and thoughts. It helps me think maybe I'm not being selfish.
Posted 10/12/2012 11:07 AM (GMT 0)
I was very close to my grandfather. He died when I was nine. I am feeling fortunate to have had him in my life. Especially at such a young age. He was my hero...

I know your pain. Take this one day at a time. You aren't being selfish, so don't even think that.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/12/2012 4:19 PM (GMT 0)
Angelic, I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's so difficult to lose those we love so much. My prayers go out to you.

I went through something somewhat similar. My husband and I were relocating to another state and had sold our home. He died suddenly and I was in a mess. Seventeen days later, shortly after the service for my husband, my mother had a brain stem stroke. I honestly didn't know how I was going to get through all of this but I did.

As we have said, take one day at a time. Remember the good times with your grandfather. I'm sure they are many since you love him so much. I believe we will be together again so I focused on that, too. I hope you believe that way, too, because it really helps in these circumstances.

Take care and know we are all here for you AND ignore any rude remarks from family members who don't understand.

Sherrine
Posted 10/12/2012 5:22 PM (GMT 0)
I think you are doing fine--so much to handle!

What I find strange is that some people at wakes or funerals can't stand to see others cry or be upset.  And I mean adults who can't handle seeing others in pain.  Crying is natural at a time like that, and I think it cleanses us. But it seems to really bother other people, and to me, that's odd.  A good cry can be a good thing, I think!

I don't know your beliefs, but as Sherrine said, I believe you will one day be reunited.  When someone close to me has passed, I tell myself I'm going to live my life the best I can in the time I have on this earth--for God and as a sort of gift for the one who has passed.  That seems to be really helpful to me. I'm not sure others can relate, but it does work for me.

about your cat:  our dog just got his 'cone of shame' off, and it's been a big help.  They do get used to them, but yes, must be somewhat clumsy for them. I pray for quick healilng for your pet, too.

Keep praying for your mom.  I often submit prayer intentions to various sites, and my favorite is Relevant Radio.  Prayer can change things--sometimes even things we think are far beyond our 'fixing.'  God is a God of miracles, so don't give up.  Whatever happens, He'll hold you and see you through (I've learned that many times).

More prayers coming for you and your family.  God bless you and be good to yourself.

And Sherrine, you, too, have been through so much!  I'm sure it must have been a nightmare for you.  Praying for you, too.

God bless.

Post Edited (Luvzminis) : 10/12/2012 11:26:02 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/15/2012 4:56 AM (GMT 0)
I just wanted to say thank you all. It's been one of the worst weeks and your support has been so nice.
My grandfather was buried Friday and it still seems surreal. Words can't describe how I miss him. I'm grateful hes in peace and out pain but it doesn't feel real.
I ended up the hospital because I'm hallucinating. They ran tests and I talked to a psych consult. They feel I'm safe so I got to home home but I start outpatient visits tomorrow. I'm scared and I feel crazy but I want to feel like a semi normal person again.
We don't have my mom's results yet. The dr said it should be 2 more weeks. So please continue keeping in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much.
Posted 10/15/2012 6:27 AM (GMT 0)
I am sorry that you are going through all this. I lost my grandfather 11 years ago, and I still miss him. I will say that over time, it gets easier to think of him without breaking down. I will keep you in my thoughts.

I do have a question, if you don't mind. You mentioned that you just started medications, then you mentioned that you started to hallucinate. I have noticed that some psychiatrists do not always look at a cause of this to be medicinal, but it can very well be. When I started to see circles and other shapes circling around me, or shimmering and shaking in front of my face (I thought they were silly bands), my psych told me that it was probably psychosomatic. Thankfully, he did not make that his diagnosis, but let my neuro figure out what was going on. It turns out that I was having temporal lobe seizures (you remember these, and there was no jerking that I was aware of) that were caused by Zanaflex. Apparently it is very rare to happen to anyone. My neuro said that in the study of over 1000 people taking the meds, only three had it, and two she pretty much dismissed as flukes (she said one had a seizure disorder anyway, so that was not evidence that the medication caused it). After research on the net, I noted that others had the same symptom. When I told my pshcy my neuros diagnosis, his jaw dropped, but he accepted it. His original thought was that the stress I have been under was causing these symptoms, but it turns out that the meds given to me to help were the culprits. The visual symptoms are scary, but as long as you know and remember that they are not real, then you are a step ahead of the game. You will get through this. (((hugs)))
Posted 10/15/2012 1:15 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, do check your medication. When my husband died, my doctor insisted on my having Xanax. I didn't take it because I knew I had a good reason to be sad and be crying. These drugs just cover things, I feel. I wanted to be lucid so I could grieve properly and make good decisions for myself...instead of being in a haze. We are much stronger than we realize and too many times drugs are the "answer" as far as our doctors are concerned.

Call your local hospital and see where they hold grief therapy sessions. They usually are free. This really helped me and it could help you, too.

Angelic, you will get over this. You will never forget your grandfather but you will remember the good times with him. Those memories can never be taken away from you. He is in a good place now...free of pain and suffering. He knows you love him and he wants you to be happy and start to move on with your life. Many prayers heading your way.

Sherrine
Posted 10/15/2012 1:41 PM (GMT 0)
It was actually the first thing they checked at the er. The only drug that thought may be an issue was the Cymbalta. Now I'm slowly scaling back on that.
My hallucinations are voices that I hear all the time they aren't violent, in fact it's some of my loved ones that are no longer here. It's hard to describe but it's like being on the edge of a conversation. They talk about things that were important to them. Oddly, while it scares me a bit it also comforting.
Posted 10/15/2012 5:37 PM (GMT 0)
I had very bad experiences on Cymbalta. It is actually dubbed " the suicide drug" on some sites due to its ability to make even the most stable people commit suicide. I understand that is not the vase here, but I'd just like to verify that yes, Cymbalta can cause psychiatric problems as it did with me. Sorry to here you're going through such a tough time. Don't rush the grieving process and let the feelings wash over you.
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