Dear Azumi,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved father. It is very hard to lose a parent.
Both of my parents had cancer, my father died from lung cancer over 33yrs ago. I still miss him.
Try to remember the good times w/ him. Those memories will help you when you are feeling very low.
But let the tears flow, don't hold your pain in. Let it out. It will help w/ your healing.
You and your family are in my prayers.
God bless. Alice.