Disability...and some venting

Im really having a lot of trouble with my fibro right now. Im in a 5 month flare up. Ive lost my job. I dont know what to do. My family keeps telling me to try for unemployment. My grandfather (who is aginst all government assistance) says if I do I will have to take my name of my families farm. I own an acre of land with my parents, my brother does to. Im very confused by this. I dont know what to do. Is someone is on disability are they not allowed to own property? What happens is something is willed to you. (ie. my granparents passing away and me getting the house?) I really am unsure what to do. I am having such a hard time I an need to bring some kind of money in. I jsut applied for unemployment so I hope that goes through. My problem is, is that for the last 7 years my pain has been under control. I have been able to work physical jobs and did a very good job managing. I was a dog groomer and unless I had a day with 22 some odd dogs alot of which being large I didnt have to worry about not being able to move the next day. This has really been a slap in the face this time. Im having trouble with dizzyness and passing out from the pain getting so bad, Im trying to get into pain managment but I can't get in till march. Doctor will not subscrible pain pills, which I understand to a degree, but everything else we have tried doens't work and at least with the pain meds my pain is manageble and I can move around without falling or having spasms eveyday. I have just gotten a Tai-Chi video and I hope to be able to start doing some gental exercises. The other thing is my family is completly unsupportive. I'm being yelled at almost on a daily bases. The only time I dont feel stressed to the  max is when I am able to get to my boyfirends house. He helps me so much, he rubs my muscles and helps me with hot packs and so on so forth.I know the stress is not helping my pain at all. I am hitting 9's on the pain scale almost on a daily basis. A good day right now is pain at a 7. I have been in the hospital 4 times with pain at a 10. I cry almost every day because I want to bad to get this under control agian. For 7 years I have been without meds. And now I am taking 5 different ones. I tried doing somethings that helped me the first time around when I was so bad, I have gotten a few massages..but they hurt so bad right now! My mom wants me to go to a chiropracter...Im not aginst that...when he x-rayed my back it turns out my back is all messed up. Ive lost 15 lbs (which isn't really a bad thing I can stand to lose a lot more wieght) because I am in so much pain that I have no interest in food. Which is wierd for me, I love food. I know I am probly suffering from depression, but who wouldn;t be! I find it hard to stay interested in alot of things I normaly do. I'm fighting so hard, and I just feel like I am fighting a losing battle! Im just so frusterated with myself and whats going on with me.   I want to work, I want to have a life agian. Im so upset all the time about this. I know I shouldn't be, its just part of it. I know it will pass in time and I will be able to get back to my normal retuine, but Im so tierd of it. 5 months is just to long. It just gets worse and worse. At this point I have the spasms under decient control, but the pain is just so intense and insainly high i dont want to move. Having cloths on hurts, my hair hurts, I feel like someone is trying to rip my skin off! Its drivibng me nuts! On top of that my joints are starting to bug me too. At this point I just have to wait and suffer till I can get into a pain managment place. I'm trying as hard as I can. I just wish my family was as understanding as my boyfriend. I wish they wouild stop giving me such a hard time. I have a dog that is a service dog for me. She knows when my fibro will get really bad. She is constently trying to get me to stay down. Its so hard, I want to be active!  Sorry I just had to vent a little.

Fish

I would also recommend treatment for your depression. Have you tried Lyrica for the Fibromyalgia??

Catkittyfish- I am sorry your having it so hard time with your fibro. It sounds like your under lots of stress and combination of pain/ depression. It all turns into a viscious cycle. I have been there before. I would recommend seeing a therapist for all your problems. It really helps, especially they have ways to help us cope with the chronic pain. I know your waiting for pain management, but I don't want you to get your hopes up too much on this. The reason I say this, is because this is only a part on handling your issues with fibro. It's like an onion, your going to have to peel each layer off slowely and see what others ways you can manage your fibro.

Having a great support team is a good way to start managing your fibro. If financial issues are a problem for you see if your city or town has available resources to help you. I know I was surprised to see how much help there was for me. I used my therapist, my husband, friends, my pastor, and social worker. Try to set up your own support system. This support group was my safety net. A place where I could go for problems and solutions.

Are you doing light excercise? I know if I feel bad I still go for a walk. It really helps me mentally. What is your service dog for again? He probably loves walks. Lol I know my dog does.

I pray that you find some peace and joy in your life. I am a living example that you can get control of your fibro again. I was in horrible shape when I started here. I listen and took advice, it was all worth it. I am doing great and I give this forum so much credit for this.

Yes I have tried Lyrica, I had the 1 in 500 reaction, it almost killed me. Im currently doing some Chiropactor treatment that helped my mom who also has fibro. I am getting into therapy for my depression soon. Its actully looking like I am not going to be able to stay where I am any longer. I have to find a way to get out on my own and with my pain being so bad I cant work atm. So I think disablilty might be my only choice. I am currently looking in to HUD for housing. I dont know things are just going bad for me and I hope they will change soon.;

Unfortunately, a lot of us were raised in an environment where you worked no matter what. While I respect that thought it can cause so much damage to yourself. I'm younger than most but I was raised in that "you work for what you get, walk it off" mentality.
I kept trying to force myself to work through pain. I did for a long time until I realized that while I may feel bad for getting disability I'm not robbing my children of the parent that they need. The ashamed feeling does stick around and I so still push it too far sometimes but in the long run disability was the right thing for my family. You just have to quit focusing on what you can't do and more on what you can do. I've become a volunteer at our local humane society and at a hospital and the hospice that cared for my grandfather. Even if you can't work there's something you can do.

I am so sorry that you are having the problems that you are having. As far as the land unemployment shoud not effect that nor should disability. I will say that from what I have heard getting SSD for Fibro is almost unheard off. I did get get disability but I have so many other things wrong besides the Fibro. Good Luck