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Posted 7/7/2013 5:05 AM (GMT 0)
All this week I've been feeling down and it's set me off in a flare.

I've been in torment over my kitty since her emergency gall bladder operation. She still has not fully recoved and seems to be wasting away in front of me. cry

She's had a seizure recently and since then her behavior has been odd. I'm afraid it damaged her brain. shakehead

I feel one morning very soon I'll find her dead. smhair

I've had her for 13 years right when I first started teaching and I feel like everything that was related to my former teaching life has faded away. She was the last connecting I had to the school because I found her on the doorsteps of my classroom.

 I'm just so worried and upset right now. cry

Posted 7/7/2013 6:37 AM (GMT 0)
Aw, Joy, I'm sorry. It's so hard to stand by and watch your animals suffer. A year ago, I was going through the same thing with my beloved cat...then in April, our wonderful dog. It feels like your heart is being ripped out.

Wish I could make it all go away! :( But I'm thinking of you. Of course, you know that trying to relax is probably the best thing you can do, but the question is - how??

Hugs, Debbie
Posted 7/7/2013 12:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hang in there Joy... I know this is hard, but you had her a long time. Think of all the wonderful years you had together. It is difficult, I know. I am crying as I type this, thinking of a dog I lost after 14 years. It really is hard.

Know that we are here for you. I hope that your day gets better.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/7/2013 1:24 PM (GMT 0)
Joy, I'm so very sorry that you are going through this. It is so very difficult knowing you are going to lose a fur baby. It is good to be able to express your feelings and cry when you need to. The grief was intense for me when I lost my cat Scooter who was 17 years old. Watching them suffer is hard to do. In the end, I had to bring Scooter into the vet. I held him while the vet gave him the injection. I loved him and I always will. A year after his death, I rescued 2 kitties...brothers, who I also love dearly.

My heart goes out to you...take care of yourself Joy. I hope your flare ends soon.

Hugs, Robin
Posted 7/7/2013 2:54 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry you're going through this, Joy, and I don't have anything to add to what others here have said. I've been there and done that, and it isn't easy at all. Know that we are here for you, and sending hugs.
Posted 7/7/2013 4:26 PM (GMT 0)
Awe, so very very sorry about what's going on with your cat, it's always hard, but sending prayers she'll recover and turn around here soon for you!
Many Prayers...
Posted 7/7/2013 4:53 PM (GMT 0)
Joy
So truly sorry. They really really are family. I wish I had some magic words to make it better. Thoughts are with you at this difficult time. ♡♡
Posted 7/7/2013 4:57 PM (GMT 0)
Joy, I'm so sorry. We love our pets so much and they truly are members of our family. I still shed tears over my Sabra and she passed on 1 1/2 years ago. But I have wonderful memories to call upon that help.

I will keep you and your sweet kitty in my prayers.

Sherrine
Posted 7/7/2013 5:23 PM (GMT 0)
Scratches to the kitto, and to you, too. She loves you! I hope you both improve, together.
Posted 7/7/2013 6:44 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, everyone for your kind words.

I've lost many pets over the years, but this one seems to hurt the most. I know having her put away would be the most humane thing to do but I keep holding out on her recovering. She's had a few days of where she seemed to be feeling better but she's not doing well now.

I'm hanging in there.
Posted 7/7/2013 6:52 PM (GMT 0)
Joy

So sorry for your emotional pain right now.

So happy you have had such a dear friend.
Posted 7/8/2013 2:23 AM (GMT 0)
Well, I've made a decision...
After trying to get her to drink or eat something today I realized how frail she really was getting. She's so weak and is not getting any better. She's laying on her side in the kitchen gasping for breath. She can't even hold up her head anymore or walk more than a couple of steps.

It's time to release her. I asked my father if she's still alive in the morning to take her to the vet to be put out of her misery.

This has made me so sick from the stress of her being ill and all. My head is splitting and I can't stop crying. I'm going to miss my little fur baby. She always would climb up in my lap when I was feeling sick or down and comfort me.

I had one of my cats die suddenly last year in March. Now my favorite is going to died. I have one cat left in my house, now. Technically, he's my niece's but she lives with me.

I'm going to knock myself out tonight with two benadryl so I can at least sleep some. My heart is breaking so much right now. I want to hold her and cuddy her and tell her goodbye so much right now. But she cries so when I touch her and she bit me for the first time tonight. I may go lay down next to her and talk to her some to soothe her and me some.

Good night, everyone. Thank you for listening to me ramble and vent.
Posted 7/8/2013 3:58 AM (GMT 0)
I know how it hurts but it sounds like you are putting her needs first and that's going to ease her passing. I hope you sleep and try to relax some. I know that's hard but I'd hate the emotional pain to be worsened by physical pain.
Posted 7/8/2013 5:04 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry, Joy; I hope you can find a little comfort knowing that her suffering has ended. Praying happy kitty memories for you today, ones that overcome the grief you are feeling. Also praying your flare ends very soon.
Posted 7/8/2013 6:19 PM (GMT 0)
She passed on her own this morning in my parents' bedroom. I wrapped her in an old towel and buried her in the backyard.

I'm sad and I'm going to miss her but I know it was for the best.

Now to focus on myself and try to get better.

Thank you for your kind words and prayers. <3
Posted 7/8/2013 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
That is far better than having to go to the vet at this point. Stay at home, no stress and no fear. Scratches and purrs to you. Remember: She loved you lots.
Posted 7/8/2013 10:24 PM (GMT 0)
My condolences, Joy. You probably feel pretty numb right now, and there's just no escaping the grief. It's so hard.

My Tommy passed away at home, the night before he was going to be put down...very similar to your situation, it sounds like. I've never felt so much for a cat as I did for him.

He had fought the good fight against illness for years...was down to 4 lbs, writhing around on the coffee table. I was a mess, too. I wanted to hold him in the worst way but he wasn't having it; lept from my arms and tore to the bathroom, cramming himself between the toilet and the vanity. I physically can't get down on the floor :( He seized for a few minutes and was gone.

Why he wanted to die next to the toilet, I'll never know, but that was him - leaving us wondering. Now I can smile as I write this, over a year later.

Sending thoughts and prayers your way,

Debbie
Posted 7/8/2013 10:40 PM (GMT 0)
Joy, I'm so, so sorry. I never met your fur baby but I'm typing this with tears running down my cheeks.. My heart is breaking for you because I know what you are going through right now. It isn't easy but your kitty made the decision for you and that was a blessing. She was home with the people that loved her and gave her a wonderful home.

Now, you need to take care of yourself. You will get better with each new day. I'm sure you will have another special kitty in your life down the road. Another kitty will not take the place of your beloved baby but will create a special niche in your heart, too.

I'll be praying for you.

Sherrine
Posted 7/8/2013 11:47 PM (GMT 0)
So very sorry Joy. Sending gentle hugs and prayers. Take care and know we are here for you.

Hugs, Robin

Posted 7/9/2013 12:30 AM (GMT 0)
So sorry, Joy.  The loss of my favorite pets is always somewhere in the back of my mind, and it sure stings. 

Take care of yourself and have a gentle, healing week.  Will be thinking of you and including you in my prayers. 

God bless.

Posted 7/9/2013 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
I've been so distracted by her death today I didn't even realized that this morning I injured my arm.

I was trying to get up with her in my arms and fell backwards, catching myself with my right arm. I knew it was hurt but not how bad. I've had to put a support brace I found from an old injury and put it on. If it still hurts tomorrow I'm going to get it checked out at the UC.

I feel like singing the old song from Hee-Haw:
"Blue, dispare, and agony on me.
If it t'weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.
Blue, dispare, and agony on me."
Posted 7/9/2013 3:41 AM (GMT 0)
Joy, I'm really sorry - I remember when my kitten died :(

Hope your arm feels better soon.
Posted 7/9/2013 7:28 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious kitty. I just recently had a scare with my precious whiskey kitty. Was very sick and took her to the vet but she recovered. I guess she had a bad virus. It will take some time to fill the void. I have lost some dear kitties and a lovable pug over the years as I am 66 years old, but I always found another lovable pet but never forgot the ones I loved. Keep your chin up and I will keep praying for you. Belva
Posted 7/9/2013 10:16 PM (GMT 0)
It's so easy to fall when your brain is elsewhere. I hope it doesn't cause too much pain. Take care of you. Thinking of kitty...
Posted 7/10/2013 3:22 AM (GMT 0)
How are you doing by now, Joy? - Emotionally and physically?

Hugs,

Debbie
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