how can i help people to understand???

The only way I know is to the "clothes pin" method.
Bet him if he can tolerate a clothes pin clamped on the ends of his fingers for five minutes. Within one minute he will be yanking those puppies off hollering.
Then explain to him that is how fibro is to you but you can't "take the clothes pins" off.

That's a really good article, Luvzminis. I put that on my Facebook page a few weeks ago.

Acupofme, I'm sorry your husband isn't being more understanding. That's so hard. I've been there - many years before my diagnosis...it really put a strain on my marriage. Slowly, my husband came around. He still can't identify with my struggles - but he BELIEVES me! My daughters are great, too. Sure, they all get tired of having to do things for me - but for the most part, they're very supportive.

Unfortunately, my son still thinks my problems are psychosomatic. I started being very affected by Fibro when he was about 3, so he doesn't remember me as "normal." My husband will emphasize to him, now and then, that I used to be really active, and that I worked out at the gym all the time, etc. But my son's beliefs are entrenched, so I've had to just accept that for now, hoping someday he'll get it. It does hurt, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Of course, that's easier because I don't live with him! It's different when it's your husband. There's a good link in "Fibro 101" (#5 - The Spoon Theory.) You deserve his respect and he needs to know that what you're going through is real, and that you didn't choose it! Here you are, working - something many Fibromites can't manage - it's no wonder you're coming home sore, tired, and forgetful!

I hope your hubby will take the time to try to understand, at least enough to be sympathetic...good luck.

Debbie

acupofme, again - welcome. I am kind of going through this too. My diagnosis has been recent, although we have known I haven't "been right" since I had the West Nile several years ago. I think in my case that helped because hubby has noticed a lot of difference in me since then and it was him that pushed me to go to the Dr. and find out what was going on.

Even with that I think we all are in a bit of denial and in the beginning stages to adjusting and understanding. One of the things that has helped me in the past getting my hubby to understand different issues was going to another source, like the article above or even taking him to the Dr. with you and let the Dr. explain it to him. For some reason some husbands will believe it if it comes from another source, but are slow to believe their wives.

Thank you everyone for the responses That article was good, and may have to bring it up. I also think im going to try and talk to him about my feelings which is hard to do. I dont think that he will go to the dr with me.

You would destroy your kid's lives forever - not a solution.

Babyblue,

You sound so depressed. We have an awesome depression forum if you would like to post there. Maybe antidepressants would help you, they help with fibro pain too. Have you considered this, or talking to a counselor??? I sure hope you feel better soon. Hang in there, you will get there... It just takes a little time.

Hugs, Karen...

Glad he is beginning to understand. I hope things will improve more as time goes on.
((((((Gentle hugs))))))

I'm glad he is starting to come around! Men and women really do cope differently. It was hard for me to accept this is real and some days I can't just push through it. I worked through broken bones, shingles, pneumonia, and countless other problems. There are days I can't get out if bed with Fibro.. When you add in the fatigue and fog it even worse. Pass along, from a man's point of view, this is not something we can "man up", "suck it up", or "push through".

My wife had been a blessing to me. Besides picking up the slack when I'm flairing, she has done two things. First she has educated herself. There is a ton of info on the Web about fibro. Fibro 101 is a great starting point. Ask him to read it. Start with the spoons! Second, she has learned to talk to me about it (I guess this was me learning to express myself better). Teasing about fibro fog isn't bad when you are certain it's just in fun.really sometimes it is funny!

I'm so glad that he's starting to get it! Good for you for helping him get there. :)

I hate the whole lost word thingy (ha-ha). I have always been an avid reader with a great vocabulary - I've loved using unusual descriptive words in everyday speaking, and my son (now 20) loves to sprinkle unusual words in sentences when he's talking to me- used incorrectly to spark a conversation of what it means and how to use it. He's actually been doing that since he was about 12. Such a sly sense of humor.

Now I often can't think of normal words, and even worse, sometimes a totally unrelated word comes out of my mouth instead and it's often quite hilarious with some of the sentences that I speak. Mad-libs in the real world!