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How do I handle all of this stress?

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Posted 6/10/2014 3:43 AM (GMT 0)
I had been doing really well with my fibro symptoms. I've been going to Tai Chi classes, seeing an acupuncturist and taking multiple supplements and Savella (one of the lucky ones who was helped by it) until my symptoms were barely affecting my life.

Then 8 days before Christmas my husband was laid off of his job. Still hasn't found one nearly six months later. In January I took my son to the doctor for persistent diarrhea that had turned bloody. After months of tests it turns out that he has ulcerative colitis and also might have Primary sclerosing cholangitis (PSC). The doctor wants my son to take Humera, but my insurance has refused to cover it. My son is currently facing the possibility he might have to have his colon removed. We have an appointment with a liver specialist at Oregon Health and Science University in August. If he does have PSC then most patients need a liver transplant within 10-15 years of diagnosis.

My daughters are having panic attacks. My older daughter will start seeing a therapist this week. I believe that mold in our house is causing all of this. I can't afford to move out since my husband doesn't have a job. Right now with all of our medical bills our monthly bills are about $200 more than our income. Our mortgage payment is less than rent would be if we found a place to rent.

My work is also stressful because I know the team I'm on is going to be reduced or even disbanded all together. I'm under pressure to make myself known to the department and to excel so I'll either be kept or I'll be given another position within the company.

Needless to say...with all of this worry and stress my symptoms keep getting worse. I'm not sleeping well. I don't know how to stop thinking about it or focusing on it or even move beyond it.

Joy
Posted 6/10/2014 5:49 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear about all the stress....sure hope your son is ok...

We thought we would have mold, but got test kits and none registered...we began running a dehumidifier in our lower level and it takes care of a musty smell i used to notice...we only have to run it about an hour a day...

All we can do is one day at a time...yes stress is so very hard on anyone, but especially so with this disease .

I think as moms , things can be wrong with us and its not as hard to get through, but its so much harder when our children are ill...

One of my daughters has early fibro...i hate for her to have to have it..so much more than getting through it myself..

Love and Prayers
Posted 6/10/2014 8:09 AM (GMT 0)
You have your hands full.
Do you think that your son's doctor can write an appeal letter to the insurance company and explain how important it is to get this medicine? Maybe you can get special circumstances with the drug company? It wouldn't hurt to try.

I hope your husband can find something quick and you can stay on at your job.
Meanwhile, try the hypnosis video on Anxiety by David Fairweather. You can find it on youtube. He really helps me. It might be good for your daughter too.

Is there a Shriners Hospital near you? If so get your son in there.
Posted 6/10/2014 10:55 AM (GMT 0)
Mindfulness and meditation helps a lot with stress. Learn to live in that moment. One day at a time.

Stress as you know makes fibromyalgia much worse. So try the mindfulness and meditation.

We can't worry about things we can't control.

I liked the idea of having the doc talk to your insurance company, it could help. And a dehumidifier is a good idea too. Bleach kills mold... So if you find any, try that. You shouldn't live in a house with mold. especially black mold...

I hope that things get better soon. Try to take things as they come, try not to worry. I know, easier said than done. You have a lot on your plate right now.

Hang in there sweetheart...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 6/10/2014 5:36 PM (GMT 0)
I don't know if you happen to be a "pray-er," but when I'm stressed, the first thing I do is pray. It calms me down immensely, and I just give my stress to God. It seems to clear my head and give me direction, too.

I try to remind myself "this too, shall pass," and yes, eventually, it does.

Also, it helps to do something active. For me at least, it helps to sort of 'burn' the stress out, as I keep busy and as active as possible, outside, if possible. Even a good, long walk can be helpful. When I'm stressed, I just try to keep moving.

And, dealing with one issue at a time, I think, is key. We can only do so much, and sometimes just sitting down and writing out a plan, step by step, can really help the situation.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with so much right now.  It has to be so tough for you. I don't know why, but it always seems 'when it rains, it pours' when it comes to stressful situations.  We hear you and are here for you! yeah

I hope things are better soon, all around.  Best wishes and prayers. :-)

Posted 6/10/2014 5:48 PM (GMT 0)
Namian, I'm sending good thoughts, wishes & prayers your way.

It really is hard to try not to focus on the bad things we have to deal with everyday but anything that takes your mind off of them for awhile will help. Try to think of some good things throughout all of this.

I know it's really hard trying to deal with children that are sick but, feel blessed every day that you still have them. I lost my eldest son in a car accident when he was 21 and I'd do anything to have him back.

Best of wishes to you and your family.

Brenda
Posted 6/10/2014 6:04 PM (GMT 0)
Try your township trustee to see if you can get help with sons meds or vocational rehab or the colon cancer foundation to see if they can help also go to the maker of the med he needs to there website and apply for there program for it I dont know if I helped but I wish you all the best if you got him on social sacurity for his health or ssi you would be eligible for medicaid if in state of indiana but all states have some type just suggestions I hope I could help.
Posted 6/10/2014 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
Joy,

You have gotten some great advice so far. I am sorry you have so much on your plate right now. I can relate to the stress part as a fellow fibromite. you need to find a way to take care of yourself. That way you can better deal with each stress one at a time.

When I am stressed, I either go for a walk, or stroll if that is all my body will allow. Or my favorite stress reliever is a hot bubblebath with a book or magazine and sometimes a glass of wine, don't know if I should share that. A few candles and no distractions.

You need to find whatever will be your stress relievers. If those don't help you, maybe take up a hobby. Or some people journal. No one has to ever read it. You don't ever have to use correct english if you choose not to. Or nice language. It is your journal.

I hope everything calms down soon. Maybe the drug company will come. That was a great suggestion.

Sending you gentle hugs.
Debbie
Posted 6/11/2014 1:36 AM (GMT 0)
This amount of stress would be overwhelming without fibromyalgia, I cannot even imagine what it would be like while trying to manage something that is so closely tied to stress. Of your extended friends and family, is there anyone who could perhaps lighten the load in some way? Anyone who could cook meals for your family, clean house for you, or other small things that might allow you some free moments to try to de-stress?
Posted 6/11/2014 7:17 AM (GMT 0)
So sorry about the amount of stress your going through. You might be like me that one of the spouses makes just enough money to not qualify for much help. I was surprised in our city how much free assistance or reduce things was available after digging deep into the system.
I know every state is very different.

I was able to get a free grant for therapy and meds. I went to the state mental health agency. I made it a point to all dr's my financial situation. Many worked with me and could provide meds in some cases. I would never let them order meds that didn't have a generic. They work great and much cheaper. We have Costco so that reduces my meds even more. Pets meds are so cheap there too. I called around for lab works too. Huge difference in cost. Sometimes they have great specials. You can carry them to your dr. office. Same way with scans too. Call around. It sounds crazy, but cutting these corners work. I would set very small payment plans up if needed. I had to swallow my pride and do these things.

I will keep you in my prayers and thought. I know it must be tough. Just take a few hrs. at a time. Do you have a church for support or etc. I love my church for this reason. I can go there when I feel the wait of the world on me. I leave there in much better shape. Let us know how things are going. Alaska is hoping with jobs. Tons of jobs!
Posted 6/11/2014 5:31 PM (GMT 0)
Joy, I'm so sorry you are going through all of this! It's horrible. I have had some rough times and, yes, my husband was unemployed for five months. He finally bit the bullet and accepted a job that paid him $15,000 a year LESS than what he was making but we needed the money badly. It turned out to be great because is was a stepping stone to a far better job two years later. And, we didn't have to sell our second car!

I have Crohn's disease which is similar to ulcerative colitis. For years I took Azulfadine (sulfasalazine which is a sulfa drug and very inexpensive) and a medication called Librax which relaxed my colon. It helped keep everything under control along with watching what I was eating...no salads, spicy foods, acidic foods, or fried foods. I had to eat canned fruit and veggies or fresh veggies cooked really soft. So maybe this would help your son. The medications I mentioned are generic...after all, I was taking these 30 years ago..

Also, it might be good that he isn't taking Humira. That seems to be the "new kid on the block" when it comes to medications. It can cause some pretty nasty side effects, too. My rheumy wants me to take it for my ankylosing spondylitis and I won't do it. I did price it....over $2,000 for a prescription! GULP! I checked it out, saw some of the side effects and decided against it. When speaking with my Internist who is affiliated with a medical school in my area, I told him I wouldn't take Humira and he said he didn't blame me at all! I was surprised to hear that. Some people get good help with this medication or they wouldn't be using it but I'm doing fine with over the counter things.

Now to answer your question. When I get overwhelmed and stress comes on me, I use my faith and remind myself to take one day at a time. I have a card on my fridge that says, "Lord, help me remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I together can't handle." That puts a smile on my face and helps relax me. I also walk. Yep, walking helps me relieve some of the stress. I get out and let the beauty around me inspire me. It give me peace. The exercise also helps with anxiety and depression so it's a "tofer".

I do hope things start to straighten out in your life. I hate these periods but we all seem to go through them from time to time. But just take one day at a time. You KNOW you can handle that! Feel better, my friend.

Sherrine
Posted 6/12/2014 4:16 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. I did discover that I'd read the letter from my insurance wrong. The doctor was trying to get preapproval for another drug and it won't be approved until he proves that Humera either doesn't work or he has an adverse reaction to it. My insurance will actually cover it with just a $35 copay! I'm questioning whether there is a need for it. I just need to get my son to talk to his doctor. I swear he is allergic to talking on the phone!

Between my husbands unemployment and what I make we do make too much to get any benefits. However a friend suggested that I try to get my son on our state's medicaid plan as he is an adult with no income at all. I'm going to look into it.

My son is also seeing a naturapath who is helping him with his diet. Right now she has him off of all gluten. Not sure if it is helping him or not. I decided to join him to see if it helped me. So far I haven't noticed much difference, the foggy feeling seems to be less. Soon I'll test it and see if it comes back with eating gluten. Sherrine, was there a reason the fruit had to be canned? So it was cooked? I think what you were saying is no fresh fruits or veggies, just cooked? My son would be heartbroken...he already wishes he could just take a pill and forget about eating. Right now he weighs about 128 pounds and he is 6'1'' Do you still have to stick with cooked veggies, or is that only when you are in a flare?

I have to remember to walk on my breaks at work. I used to do it, but lately because of the stress of trying to make my job performance look better than the rest of my team...I've let it slide. However today I started contacting all of my friends in other departments and asking them to let me know if there are any openings on their teams or in their departments and to recommend me if there are. So hopefully one or more of those leads might pan out and I won't have to live in fear that my job will disappear.

I went out to dinner with four friends and had a nice evening out...not thinking about my problems, just enjoying my friends. It is amazing how much better your outlook is after something like that!
Posted 6/12/2014 4:56 AM (GMT 0)
We all have our good and bad days...glad today was better : )
Posted 6/12/2014 7:57 AM (GMT 0)
I am glad your having some luck with the med issues. Continue to do something for yourself each week. It doesn't have cost that much money. Glad you were able to get out with friends.
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