Sick of hearing "you sound better today"

I love my grandma, but I'm so tired of her saying, "you sound better today" when I talk to her on the phone. I'm not better! I feel like I'm dying, and that doesn't sound like a bad idea at this point!

People keep asking how I'm feeling, and I keep telling them I'm sick. I don't know what to say anymore. I'm 20 days into this flare up, and I feel like I'm dying everyday. I don't think people understand, and I'm not even sure I expect them to because I feel so sick that I can barely fathom it. The worst part is I don't know how to make it better, I don't know when it will end or start again.

I feel like I'm walking this tight rope to health...exercise some, but not too much...take this, but some people have reactions to pills....eat this, but some people are sensitive to certain foods, etc., etc., etc.

I'm sick of people telling me to think positive, pray, walk a lot, get as much sun as I can, etc. I know they're trying to help, but some of the things they come up with are almost insulting. My family thought when I moved to California, I'd be suddenly cured...like it was all in my head or something and the ocean and nice weather would fix it all.

I'm scared. I'm scared that this will last forever and get worse. I'm scared I won't get social security. I'm scared people will get tired of me being sick all the time.

Sorry for the negativity. I get this way about 17 days into a flare up.

Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe I'll wake up and feel better!!!

Michelle

Thanks Sherrine. I didn't know that it wasn't progressive. I will take one day at a time, and not project. You helped me. Thank you.

Are you exercising during your flares? Do you work full time?

Mishell. Hopefully you will feel better soon. I have lots of good days at times. You will have some too. I think I have learned to accept this fibro and I have learned to work around my disability. It takes time to perfect a treatment plan. Even after finding it there are days that you just pull the covers over your head. Lol

Here are some things that help me. Limit stress is number 1, heat, exercise, spiritual meditation and church, vitamins, rest and pain meds.

I know my triggers for setting my fibro off. So I am careful to monitor it. I use to remember having lots of ruff days before coming to this forum. I believe it was this forum that gave me great tools to help improve my fibro. Just keep trying different tools and maybe you will find some relief soon. It will get better.

Hi Mishell:

I have been living with many health challenges for over 12 years. I have only had a handful of days where I almost felt normal again. I do not know what triggers these odd decent days. I read an account of someone who had Osteoarthritis in her neck and did get surgery done. She commented that if she had a good day it would be followed by worse days.

It is hard to stay positive all the time when you know your body is not healthy. For me it seems any movement puts me in more pain. I am keeping in my mind that last spring I went on a vacation and although I walk with pain, I did a lot of walking. I can't just walk like a normal person, I have to hold the left side of my head or neck and I like to wear my hat as it for some reason keeps my head pain a bit less.

I am still trying to function and try to pretend on weekends that I could actually do something with my Husband but it is not without pain. I truly enjoy the encouragement on this forum. We are all understanding what the pain is like. I have learned something new each time I read the posts.

I, too, know the toll stress can take on the nervous system. Illness is hard on us as many of us have compromised immune systems. The car accident we had last summer has truly set me back but I am trying to get back to where I was at least.

I have had to accept that I may not get a whole lot better but I still keep waking up each day so I get up and accomplish something each day. I know I have to keep moving or there is risk of me putting my self in a wheelchair one day. I don't want that to happen. I, once in awhile, tell my Husband that my head is in a whole lot of pain today but most of the time I don't mention it. People ask and sympathize but at the end of the day it is not them. I won't lie if someone asks, that would be non honest if I did but I don't believe it helps any to constantly bring up how much pain you are in.

I use ice, heat, pain creams and do stretches and other Physical Therapist taught exercises. I take as many rest breaks as I need. I am on disability.

Do take care. I know when spring and summer arrives I will feel better, hope you do too.

Loring

Osteoarthritis in Multiple Joints, Fibromyalgia, Neuralgia, Chronic Daily Headaches, I.B., Hard of Hearing...

Post Edited (Loring) : 1/18/2015 12:06:43 PM (GMT-7)

Mishell

I understand. Guessing a lot of us do.

Had years of listening to that. I tried to reason that they 'meant well'. And I'm sure they did. They must feel helpless too. When surgeries did not magically fix everything & time went on & on the comments became more annoying !

Finding this forum, people who understand, helped me tremendously.

Several folks on here have provided their personal 'comebacks '.. something like "my doctors & I are working on a treatment plan. Thanks for asking. "
Then change the subject. Cause stressing out accomplishes nothing.

I've had flares that lasted several hours to several weeks.
One, which prompted me to stop resisting taking 'serious' pain meds, lasted from June (triggered by dental procedure) until Christmas Eve day. That was Several years ago.

My adult children did not - do not - ?believe?/ understand? Well I am not sure what they don't 'get'.. whether it is the severity of the pain or that it is because it is sometimes it affects my entire body, other times it is one area. They were adament that I not take 'addictive' meds. Yet they did not lift a finger to help me ! Even the few - really only a few!! Times that I commented I hurt too bad to fix a meal, no one offered to get me something - no one said anything about helping w/laundry but the pile of clothes visibly grew, etc. You get the idea.

So I decided MY quality of life really mattered to me & did what was best for me. Others don't have to know the details. It was hard to not freely discuss them but when i did someone always ended up using it against me later.

Yes, I finally ignored the bad advice offered by well intention but uninformed. Continued to work w/the (third) pain management doctor: but also added/ tried different 'serious' pain meds until 'we' got the right combination for me. Best decision I have made in years!

Prayers for you hon.

Sorry you're feeling so down. I've been there lately. I've been on a fibro flare for 3 months! It's finally starting to ease a bit. In addition to that, my OA has been really hurting from the cold weather. It's so easy to let it get us down. I'm so glad I joined this forum, because I can see I'm not alone, and it helps in some way. Doesn't take away the pain, but you don't feel quite as lonely.

I hope your flare ends soon, and you can feel the best you are able to for a long while before the next one.

I always tell people I am good, then turn it around to "and how are you doing?". People love to talk about themselves. Ha!!!
That gets the attention off of you.

Hugs, Karen...

Thank you all so much for your stories. I'm so sorry to hear that some of you only feel better a handful of days here and there and some of you have 3 month flare-ups. I've been sick 7 out of the last 9 weeks, and I can't imagine anything longer than that. My muscle aches and fatigue are moderate, but my malaise is SEVERE. That is what keeps me down. As for my grandma, bless her heart, I just tell her I feel fine now. I'm not going to tell her when I'm sick anymore. It's just better that way. Happy Sunday everyone. Take care.

Diane...I'm sorry that your children weren't supportive and didn't help you. It's hard when the people you love aren't there for you like you need them to be.

Oh no!!! :) I'm tired of this bug! How about we wake up tomorrow and feel good?!?!?!?! I do have to say that I've been taking 500 mg of magnesium along with 1000mg of calcium before bed and it helps a little with m body aches. Ok...tomorrow's going to be good, right!!!

Hi Karen, you can take it either in the am or pm, but your body can only absorb 500mg at a time...so if you take a 1000mg tab...divide it in two. I heard somewhere that calcium helps with sleep, that's why I take it at night. However, I just read that if you take it with magnesium...it doesn't absorb as well...so I may have to switch things up. Taking it with vitamin D helps in absorption.