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Posted 7/31/2008 1:16 PM (GMT 0)
I worked almost a full day yesterday!! cool    It took a lot of drugs and self-talk but I did four out of six appointments yesterday.  This is huge for me.  It's been three weeks since my relaspse and I've been doing one, maybe two appointments a day and some days not leaving the house at all.  I'm less depressed now because I was beginning to think I would be stuck in this position but I'm also so sore and sleepy, I can barely move.  I didn't have one of my sleep meds last night so i woke up a lot and I haven't had any of my morning meds just because I'm trying to put them off as long as possible--closer till 10:00 when I need to get up and shower for an 11:00 appt.  I have four appointments scheduled today and I'm hoping to make all of them but we'll see.  I am really sore, everywhere.  I want to push through it and just get back to where I was before this flair.  It is really taking a toll on my family and my finances.  My four year old keeps asking for lemonaide or other such things as soon as I sit down and has started a whole "what?" thing even though he hears me.  It takes energy to repeat myself and it takes energy to remember he heard me the first time and to not repeat myself.  My husband has transformed into the opposite of support and understanding.  He doesn't even try anymore.  I find every interaction with him to be completely draining so I just avoid it.  I think I'll take my meds now! :-)

Holly

Posted 7/31/2008 1:44 PM (GMT 0)
Good for you! I'm glad to hear that you are doing better and getting back to working. Kids are ard on the fog though, aren't they? I can only take in one requset at a time, and when they all talk to me at once... oh! I'll always remember when my oldest was about 3. I was driving in lots of traffic, the car was overheating, and I was late for work. He wouldn't stop talking and asking me questions! I snapped, and yelled at him :( "Why do you always ask so many question?" I asked. "Because I have them in my head, Mommy." Just remember there will be days soon enough that he won't talk to you at all, lol. Right now I can feel myslef get frusttrated b/c I'm trying to concentrate on this, the tv is blaring, the baby is bringing me 'food' to eat, and the boys are having a rather loud conversation. What was I saying? Oh yes, I hope you have a great day, adn give your slef a (gentle) pat on the back for all you accomplished!
Posted 7/31/2008 2:10 PM (GMT 0)
I'm glad your doing better Holly. Pace yourself, so many of us try to play catch up when we are feeling better and that can backfire on us.

 

Mamanan, you almost sent me back to bed just reading about your morning. tongue

 

I never thought about how much energy little things in life take til I didn't have any.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

Posted 7/31/2008 2:35 PM (GMT 0)

thanks you guys.  I already feel like I overdid it yesterday and am having a slow start today.  I had to cancel my 11:00 and am now just concentrating on getting to my 1:00, 2:00 and 3:00.  I know I can do it if I just get dressed and out the door.  My husband is home sick and needing a lot of attention and neither of us felt up to driving our son to preschool so he's here and requesting numerous things.  How much do I really feel like playing Candy Land right now?  yet if I don't play it before I leave this afternoon, the guilt will be worse than the pain and fatigue.  I can't imagine what it must be like having several children.  I snap at mine too when I'm just too tired to answer question after question after question.  I feel like it's enough that I'm giving up what I want to do to sit on the bed and watch the science channel with him, or worse, Noggin ("it's like preschool on tv") without having to talk through the whole thing.  I try to be patient.  I am after all, a child psychologist, but then I just snap.  The great thing about kids though is they are so resilent and they know they are loved no matter what and somehow they allow for those little bad parent moments.  He's playing quietly with his trains now but he'll be back.

Question: does anyone else experience finger, wrist, and forearm pain when they type?  This is getting really obnoxious for me.

Holly

Posted 7/31/2008 3:03 PM (GMT 0)
Congrats, Holly!  You are doing very good!  As others said, be sure to pace yourself.  You do not want the pain to head back.

 

I can have pain in wrists, fingers, and forearms sometimes.  I will go through phases where it looks like I have carpal tunnel.  The doctor told me I did, but then it goes away!  I don't think carpal tunnel comes and goes like that.  I take ibuprofen for my pain so that would work on any inflammation in that area, though.

 

Hope you have another good day!

 

Sherrine

Posted 7/31/2008 3:23 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Sherrine,
I really am not feeling up to doing my afternoon appointments but my four year old is having a meltdown and I think it might be easier to actually go to work! And since it takes like an hour to get dressed, it's time to get ready. does anybody have a remedy for sleepy eyes while driving? i use eye drops but I get so drowsy and find myself driving very slowly on the highway and have to force myself to get it together and push the gas pedal harder.
Holly
Posted 7/31/2008 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Holly,

It's wonderful you are keeping moving, but I think you're starting to see the effects of "pushing thru the pain". I do it over and over and pay each time. You'd think I'd learn but I'm trying to get better. Like Sherrine said, you must pace yourself even when you feel better or you'll be down for even longer.

If you are drowsy while driving that tells you that you should NOT be driving. I found one day I fell asleep at a stop light so I finally talked to doc and he prescribed Provigil which helps with that sleepy/groggy feeling.

Please be careful!
Chutz
Posted 7/31/2008 11:27 PM (GMT 0)

Holly,

Going to work can be a break for me too.  My doctor told me to stop working because of the stress and I told him, my stress is all at home.  I have 3 kids, 10, 13, & 15 and a husband that sounds a lot like yours.  I can really relate to the kids overwelming you.  Why do they always need attention at the same time and I am so tired of watching spongebob square pants while my 10 year old explains everything that is going on.  I bite my tongue a lot so that I don't snap (although it does occasionally happen). You are right, the kids bounce back quickly and it helps to say "I'm sorry, I was having a bad day".

Take care, don't overdo it and please don't drive if you are to tired.

Meggie 

Posted 7/31/2008 11:56 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Meggie. I made it to my three afternoon appointments but got home to an irritable husband and child with zero food in the house. I offered to watch Max and Ruby (what a dumb show) or read books on the bed but this apparently was unsatisfactory so I closed myself away with the computer which just made everyone mad. They finally left for the grocery store but didn't bother to ask what I wanted or needed. My son doesn't understand how sick I am and my husband is annoyed that I arrive home completely drained and I didn't stop at the store. Anyway, I'm thankful I made it through another day and arrived safely. I know I am too drowsy to drive and how dangerous it is and I do take precautions. I pull off and walk around the car. I sleep in parking lots--well not really sleep since I have incredible insomnia and it would take an hour and a half of resting before actually falling asleep but sometimes I just need my eyes closed. They burn with that sleepy feeling all the time. Provigil did not work for me, Chutz, btw, but ritalin works when I'm in a non-flair state. Nothing is working right now but I think the days are getting better and I may be moving out of this relaspe into a more healthy state of just regular fibro. I hope so. I can't stand this and it is taking such a toll on my relationships. My focus has been on making as many appointments as I can and not on nurturing my relationships so some might question my priorities. However, if I don't work, I don't know who I am and we can't make the house payment. My kid is forgiving and we'll have lots of time together on Saturday. My husband, well, I simply don't have the energy to deal with him right now whether I work or stay home. It sure would have been nice to be greeted with, "Good job honey, three appointments today. Good for you. Look, I made dinner for us." Yes, I have a rich fantasy life!
Holly
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