blessing in disguise

I mentioned in another thread that I have been in a bad flare for almost a month. I also mentioned how hard it was to work full time and be in a flare. it's hard enough when I am not flaring. while my work has been very supportive in general about my fibromyalgia, the fact of the matter is that I miss more work then anyone else there because of the fm. I have been kinda warned in the past about missing too much work. things had been extra stressful around work for the last few months and I was really worried it was me, that they were sick of me being sick all the time. I started trying really hard not to leave early or call in sick. working during a flare when really I shouldn't have been there, I wasn't really being productive, how could I be? I shouldn't have even driven to work! last week I cried every day on the way to work. because I knew I was too sick to go in and I felt like I had to anyway, so I did.

they had a big meeting on friday. all the stress around work it turns out isn't about me at all. it is a sign of the economy. they cut all of us full time employees back to part time. every single one, not just me! and after being so sick with this flare for so long, I just burst into tears again, but this time in relief. I have spent the last 6 months asking myself is working fulltime was the right thing to do. even on good days I pretty much spend all my spoons at work. I don't make "art" anymore because even if I am not exhausted, I know I have to save all my energy for work. what kind of life is that? don't I deserve some quality of life at some point?

so I have decided not to worry about it too much. the lose of income is great, and I was working for the money after all. so I need to replace that income somehow. well, I used to teach beadmaking a lot, but gradually quit teaching because I was so exhausted after working all week, and I needed to rest up to work the following week. I can work less and make more by teaching. I might even have enough energy to go back to making "art" again, and maybe go back to writing articles again, which I have also given up over the fibro years. maybe, just maybe this change at work will be the best thing that ever happened to me. I have had this job since for 6 1/2 yrs and my fibro dx for 5 1/2 yrs. I don't know life without fibro and this job anymore. maybe less of this job is going to be an excellent thing for me.

sorry to ramble on and on. I tell you what, I sure enjoyed my 5 hour day today compared to all the 8 hour days I have worked since I got sick. and am even looking forward to tomorrow's 5 hour day. lol

I have missed you guys, and I have been feeling miserable and misunderstood all month. I just needed to talk to folks who understand. I appreciate all of you!

kellie in alaska

well, I don't know that I will make more money. if I could only teach every day. a once a month class is about all I can do right now, at the place I am teaching, the schedule is full of other teachers. but I can usually bring in enough students once a month that I make more in 4 hours then I do in 3 days of full time work. so maybe I can work LESS but still bring in the same amount of funds. lol

thank you karen!

I'm so happy for you Kellie. I know many on this forum have to work, not only for money but the ins, and I don't know how you all do it. I know most of you are younger than I am which might be the key.

 

You know what they say, one door closes and another one opens. Now you can spread your wings and find other things to do.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

kellie,

 

I know it sounds weird for me to be telling you that I'm happy that your hours got cut, but I know it's hard to make those decisions yourself.  So, sometimes it really helps when "life" makes them for you.  BTW-I totally understand how you feel about calling in sick or leaving early.  When I was working, I didn't have a fibro dx, yet, so everyone thought I was just lazy and complaining all the time.  Although, I hate to say it, even if they did know I had fibro, I doubt that would have changed their opinion.

 

Anyway, I'm glad that you are feeling better-even though the money situation isn't a good thing.  I really understand that-which is why I've been trying to move home for the last 6 months.  BTW-will anyone call my mom and tell her that I need to get the h*** out of SoCal?  Apparently, she doesn't hear me when I tell her.

 

BTW-why do blessings always come in diguises?   I've always wondered that.  Oh well, maybe this year I'll be a blessing for Halloween.  I have the perfect disguise!

I think you will be surprised at how much better you will start to feel!  I can't imagine going into work, crying, and being so miserable.  And, when you least expect it, something may come along to help with the bills. 

 

My oldest daughter was struggling for a while to make ends meet.  Out of the blue she was offered a computer job that she could do in the evenings after work!  It was perfect, didn't take much time to do and gave her the added income she needed.  I hope something like this will happen for you, too.  A part-time job working from home would be wonderful for you.

 

Sherrine