Sera,
How amazing you are to be an advocate for your friend. The world needs more people like you. 
First of all, the term "lupus limbo" is just something that possible lupus patients made up because they were/are in a situation like me. It's not a medical term. However, if you want to find great info about lupus, you can go to the Lupus Foundation of America website at www.lupus.org.
That really sucks that your friend is getting dismissed by her doc. I have also had 2 different positive ANAs, along with a lot of other lupus-like symptoms, but my rheumy isn't giving me a yes or no answer. BTW-obviously, I don't want lupus, I just want to know if I have it or not. Also, there are so many autoimmune diseases out there, I might (or might not) have one of those. The whole situation is just incredibly frustrating. 
Oh, thanks for asking about the smoking situation. I'm trying to keep everyone updated in my "I'm quitting" thread I started, but I don't mind bragging here. LOL As of right now, I've gone about 72 hours without a cigarette. I am so proud of myself. I have been battling this addiction for 12 years, and to think that I've finally beat it has me overjoyed. I know that I'll always be tempted (and I won't lie to y'all if I do slip up), but this is really a big deal for me. 