Need stress busting advice

My daughter who became paraplegic a year ago from the birth of her baby is doing much better and has finally progressed to walking with a cane. That's the good news. Because she hasn't been able to return to her job as a physical therapist assistant their income dropped dramatically. Yesterday the foreclosure notice came and they are losing their house. They will probably be moving in with us by Christmas. I feel so bad for the loss of their home... This is gonna be a tight situation. I have two older dogs who will need to be put to sleep. They aren't all that kid friendly and there will be a toddler here 24/7.

We don't have a lot of room but we can make this work. As hubby says, we will just become the Waltons... I feel like someone beat me up with baseball bats while I was sleeping last night. Maybe, just sharing will help... I'm so mad at this dumb economy I could scream!!!

Hi Jeannie,

I really have the feeling that the economy is going to get better. It may take a while, but it is going to happen.

Do you meditate? I would suggest meditation to relax you. It will make things seem much less stressful if you can clear your mind for a while. I know that you do a lot, with your cake business and just maintaining your home.

I am happy to know that your daughter is doing better. I think that she had a lot hit her all at once and I understand that the progress is gradual. But it is happening, so for that we should rejoice.

I hope that this helps in some small way. Deep breathing, as I am sure you already know helps a lot. In through the nose , out through the mouth. Smelling the roses and blowing out the candles, I always call it that.

Keep us updated on how things are going. And I wish you the best.

Luv and hugs, Karen

Jeannie, I'm sorry about your daughter and all the angst that came along with such a tragedy.  Glad she is doing better..that's good news.  All you young whipper snappers out there may recover what you lost in your retirement funds etc, but us old folk?  No way!  We are planning to live like the Waltons too.  Actually, I'm kinda looking forward to living in my son's attic!

My suggestion to relieve some of the stress is a nice massage or a soak in a hot tub.  If you don't have access to a hot tub, go to a spa store and tell them you want to test one out. 'They don't mind!'

Hope the 'ball bat beating' feeling passes quickly.  take care...

donna

Jeannie. . . I am sending prayers your way for you and your family. . . One thing that helps me is relaxation sounds and music to meditate to. . . Classical and gospel works well for me also :) My family has lived extended for years, and with the economy the way it is, we have been preparing for extra people as needed. The best of luck. Too bad you have to put your dogs down. . . Maybe you can put them in the paper? Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Hi Jeannie,
A breathing technique I learned in stress and coping class really works wonders and it is easy to do. Count as you breathe: inhale=1, exhale=2, inhale=3, etc. When you get to 10, start over, when you lose track start over. You can do it for 5 minutes. Progressive relaxation is good too. You start with your head and tighten all the muscles, then release, then you do your shoulders and arms, then torso, then butt, then legs. Then everything.

There is a third meditation that helps me sleep. While you are lying down imagine your feet are cement blocks. Imagine you are lying in the grass and your feet sink down into the grass. A friend comes and tries to lift your feet and cannot. You move up your body from your feet.

I read a book by Thich Nhat Hahn. He is a buddhist monk who teaches on life principles. He teaches them so that a person of any faith can use them (you do not have to be buddhist.) The book is called the miracle of mindfulness. I read it and it really helped me.

I hope some of these ideas will work for you.
((((Jeannie))))
From Sue

Jeannie, I'm not going to sugar coat this cause it is going to be hard. I've been there and done that, not since I would consider my sons adults, but I have had three grandchildren for long lengths of time.

 

Yes, any of my family is welcome to move in with us if they need to but it wouldn't be an ideal situation. Maryclare walking with just a cane is such a blessing so keep that in mind when the stress gets to you. Keep telling yourself this is only temporary til they get help and can afford their own place. This has to be devastating to them to lose their home. I'm sure this is a last resort for them too.

 

Your going to have to have a place where you can get away from it all when it gets to be too much. Is there anyway you can make a corner of your bedroom into a sitting area for you and your DH??? Just cause your living in the same house doesn't mean you have to spend every minute together. Since Maryclare has fibro too she understands what you feel.

 

I would sit down with them and set some ground rules and give everyone a chance to voice what is important to them to have in this situation. I'm sure they will want privacy too. With communication this will workout for everyone and you will get to see everything the baby is doing at this age on a daily bases.

 

Please tell me you have at least two baths in your house???

 

In this case it is your daughter's illness that has caused them to lose their home but there are a lot of people out there in the same boat.

 

Let's pray this economy changes quickly. I know for a lot of us that are older we have seen a lot of dreams go down the drain.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

 

 

Hi Jeannie-

My oldest niece and her husband are also losing their home, they got their foreclosure notice a month ago. They have two children, 5 and 1. They will be moving into my sisters (into a rambler also) the middle of the winter. It has been heartbreaking for them and "us" as a family also. Her husband was in construction and was making money like it grew on trees, and had side jobs that were endless. Not anymore, there is no work.

The economy is affecting "many." My brother-in-law is down to a 4 day work week, my youngest sons father just got laid off from his job 2 weeks ago and my guy friend a week ago.

I know this will not be easy, but I, like you would never turn down family in time of need. This is a big stressor on you Jeannie, and knowing that your dogs will have to be put down, I would be feeling it too and then some. Need you to hang on tight and this is when we have to remember our blessings over and over again. AND we will be here for you through this so you don't have to do this alone!

GamJill

  

(((Jeannie))))

 

I am so sorry that your daughter and her hubby are losing their home.  Like they and you havent been through enough

I have read all the other responses, and cant think of anything to add.  I just want you to know you will continue to be in my thoughts, prayers.  I agree that your daughter is probably stressing about moving in with you as well.  It's hard to go back home.

You and your daughter have a fantastic relationship, and you are her rock with all that has happened to her this past year.  I honestly think that a heart to heart over a cuppa will have you both feeling alot better about the situation.  Like Marlee suggested...would be terrific if you could have a place for you and hubby to go and be on your own when you feel like it.

You know we are all here for you Jeannie, you are a very highly thought of person here.  So when need be, come here and pour out any frustrations and/or tears.  It will help I'm sure.

Holding you close in my thoughts

Diane