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Donna and Sherrine go skiing!

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Posted 1/24/2009 4:06 PM (GMT 0)
Because it is a balmy six below zero and the snow keeps falling, the ski slopes are totally fab!  Donna has invited Sherrine for a lovely day skiing on Labrador Mountain.  We drive the 60 miles on black ice and have to stop at every restroom on the thruway, as Sherrine has 'to go' every twenty seconds.  A man in a sixteen wheeler keeps honking his horn and making somekind of weird gestures with his fingers  because we are traveling at about 3 MPH and he can't get around us.  So we just smile and wave back. We finally arrive 6 hours later.

Oh Jeez...ha ha ha, I can't do this, Sherrine!  Tee hee, I'm choking on my tea.  Skiing?  Har Har hardee har har!

Can't you see us dressed like Michelon Men with our feet screwed into long slippery fiberglass slabs...weilding sharp pointy poles, impaling and castrating everyone we pass as we head for the fir trees that line the slopes...

okay.  Donna and Sherrine toss the skis and hobble into the lodge looking like space aliens.  We plop down in front of the fire and Sherrine discreetly fetches her 'medicinal rum' from her purse as Donna thinks she feels a canker sore coming on.  I swish, then swallow.  Swish then swallow, then swallow.  Then swallow.  I cannot feel my lips and this is a good thing.  They both decide skiing is not for them and think about taking up gymnastics.  I mean, how hard could it be to run 25MPH down a slippery run way, jump on  a springboard then do four and a half twists and a back bend while in the air, over a hard, leather vault?

Owwy.  Really. Owwy, owwy.  Okay, Donna and Sherrine grab a bed buddy, a heating pad, three blankets, a down quilt, four bags of Hershey's Kisses and watch a good movie...Women in Prison II.

Huggies

donna

 

Posted 1/24/2009 5:07 PM (GMT 0)

Donna Donna Donna turn how you make me laugh and at the same time bring back memories lol.  My daughter and I did attempt to ski one season in Montana with my ex and his family who were all skiers.  Talk about a Michelon man, I was a plump 300 pounds when I attempted this and since it is below freezing most days in Montana in the mountains I was all decked out and looked like the lil brother in the Christamas Story movie.  My daughter was still a teen back then and of course she looked fab in her lil sno bunny outfit.  We headed off to the rental area and got all our gear.  I had to have Barb put my boots on as I could not bend over to save my life.  Got the boots on and had our skies and as for instruction?  my ex simply told us to point our ski tips together when we wanted to stop.

 

We aproached the "bunny" hill which in Montana would not be for someone from Washington to start on.  My daughter got brave and said lets take the tow rope!!  I was terrified.  We both grabbed on and off we went with a jolt.  I had them let me off oh about 100 feet or so up the hill and they were like"you got to be kidding me"lol.  No I wasnt.  So I got off or rather let go and there I was not knowing what the hell to do.  I thought this has got to be simple,Just push off and go.  So off I went heading toward the ski lodge and a large group of children there for lessons!!  Ok to slow down and stop dig in your ski tips together in front of you.  OK tips together and digging in check!  ut oh not slowing down.  Stay calm and dig tips in to stop check!  nope not slowing down and not stopping and kids are getting closer!! and somewhere in the background I can hear my daughter screaming stop!stop!stop!  Well the only humane thing to do was throw myself on my back and slide in near the lodge stopping about 5 feet short of bowling these kids over.

 

There I was on my back with my legs in the air with no way to ever get up and my daughter comes hobbling up to me.  She doenst look good.  Turns out she got herself all twisted up in the tow line and they had to stop the line to get her off and then someone had to gently bring her back down the mountain/bunny slope.  I told her to get these *&^%$$ skies off of me and we returned our gear within 30 minutes with the shop ppl going "you got to be kidding me?" we were not kidding.  So off we went to the lodge bar with my credit card in hand to order Baileys and coffee to warm up.  Ya I did allow my kid one weak cup but I on the other hand just told them to keep um coming lol  ahhhhhh much better out on the deck of the lodge watching the others ski much much better.  You should have seen me later trying to film my ex skiing down the mountain with me 3 sheets to the wind lol he gets to where I am asking did ya get it! and I tell him ya might want to make one more run it was kinda off center lol I never took the cap off the lens!!!!! right about then I side stepped into a huge drift and was buried up to my chin but did I care?  nope I was nice and toasty from my friend Bailys Irish Cream to keep my comfy till they could dig me out lol and that is a real ski story.................

 

Soft Hugs.

Karen

Posted 1/25/2009 7:54 AM (GMT 0)
I'm from Montana and learned to ski there. My dad had me on the slopes when I was about 5. Needless to say, the fibromyalgia has been keeping me away. :-) I know how vicious those mountains can be!
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