Hello......newly diagnosed and wondering about my future.

It's got to be better than the last three years.

I am 45 yers old and was just diagnosed Monday with fibro, and finally someone was listening to me. I am soooo tired of telling my two daughters and my extended family that I constantly ache and have muscle pain -- "I feel like I have the flu coming on."


I had my gallbladder removed six weeks ago and before that had a vist to my GP who referred me to a rheumy who finally CALLED it and gets it. Told me to lose 10 pounds, start mild exercise every other day on a stationery bike that tracks pulse, keep a journal and put me on tramadol. Must say I'm feeling a bit better but fear losing my job as my aches are so bad and the "fibro fog" is the WORST. And I"ve been thinking I'm losing my mind. I'm a writer/editor and it is starting to scare me because I'm making mistakes at work and having a heck of time with word retreival. With the economy the way it is I can not lose my job as I support two daughters, 13 and 15 and am a single mom.

I thought it was interesting that the rheumy asked about infection/stress in past. in fall 2006 my husband left with a coworker and turned our world upside down. 18 years of marriage and I was happy...and then BAM. Three months later I drove myself to the ER with severe back pain. Turns out I had about a dozen kidney stones and a severe e coli infection -- it went into my blood stream before surgery/stent placement and I spent 8 days in the hospital septic -- I don't even remember 3 of those days. Went through 2 lithotripsies, etc etc. But the depression was really baddddd with hubby gone. I sold the marital home and went from a huge 5 bedroom to 3 bedroom ranch and we've adjusted to a degree

Dr. gave me fibro lit and I shared it with my girls. Now they understand I'm not just a blob who comes home from a full day at work and collapses. They know I need 45 minutes to recharge and THEN I make dinner and they help. We also talked about more chores for them and I'm starting to realize I can't do it all. So what if the dog tracked lawn clippings in and they are still there or that I've not yet done the cat box. I'm starting to realize my limitations BUT I am just taking it day by day with work and the girls. I have not told my employer about the fibro as I took a bit of time off with the gallbladder so now I feel anxious about that and about being competent enough to do my job. How do you fibro folks DO this? Today is like rainy and cold and torture, so I'm on the sofa and feeling guilty. Thanks for listening. I'm enjoying the info on the forum and send very soft, soft hugs to all of you.

Hi there Mom of 2!!

I wanted to extend you a big warm welcome to our Fibro Family and let you know we're here for you!!!  I'm glad you're reading our posts and hope that you'll check out the 2nd thread on the forum called Fibro 101.. great stuff on there that will help you learn more and gain some coping skills for the fun fest known as Fibro.  There's a link on there called the "Spoon Theory" that is really helpful to both fibromites and there loved ones, when it comes to understanding how to deal with energy & pain levels.

WOW... you're a writer!!! I always wanted to grow up to be a writer.. my problem is.. I never grew up!! LOL.. Actually I'm 51.  But I do have some interest in getting into the world of journalism.  Two of my brothers are writers so I think it runs in the family.

You've found the best place in the world for folks that suffer with fibro.  This message board is very active and understanding.  I don't know what I would have done over these past few months without this group of wonderful people.  We laugh and cry together and we really can relate to each other.  Our Moderators are AWESOME.  They all really know their stuff and take good care of their members. 

I know how you feel about your job.. but as you learn to cope and get your meds going you'll be ok.   I was the director of our local chamber of commerce... very high energy job, the hours got to be too much for me and my husband, he really wanted me to leave my job so after a serious flare, he just couldn't stand to see me go through the medical issues and a very non forgiving job.  So I'm looking for something part time now.

Again, Welcome.. I hope you enjoy the forum and keep posting!!

Hugs

Hi Mom of 2, Welcome to a wonderful forum.  You have received some very good advice, the people here are caring & knowledgeable.  I have leaned on them heavily at times & have gotten to know them well.  You will find the same experience here & I hope it helps to make your life just a little bit better. 

Always remember, you are not lazy, you have an illness.  The guilt you feel is totally self defeating & will just put you into a flare.  Learn to pace yourself, be aware of how you are feeling & don't push yourself when your body is saying, Stop!!!   If during the week you make it to work & then come home & just lay down for the rest of the evening, pat yourself on the back.  Being able to support your 2 children financially is a biggie.  Spend time with them by sitting & talking or share dinner & watch TV, have quality time.  Share the workload at home on the weekends & dig out that slow cooker for meals.  You will find what works for you.  Leave the guilt it has no value or use in finding your way with this illness.  You didn't ask for it. 

I am happy to meet you, come often because the people here will become your FMily, a soft place to fall when you are in pain & a friend to laugh with about those things, we as Fibromites, do.  Many gentle hugs, Denise  

Hi singlemom -

I also have the "wondering about my future" thing.  There is a point where, if I have too much trouble with concentration, memory, word finding, and making mistakes .... well, maybe I'm not "fit for duty".  I've been discussing this with both my Lyme doc and my therapist. 

I think maybe part of the answer is to have a cognitive exam.  Over the last week I've been doing some research to find neuropsychologists in this area.  I think I'll have the testing done cause otherwise I'm not sure how I'll know how bad it is - and then what I should be doing about it.  But I do think it would help my adjustment and help me to be realistic. 

I'm willing to change and adapt if I have to.  But there are a lot of financial concerns about what all this means.  I've considered starting a separate topic on this for a while.  I did ask a question on the Lyme forum cause I knew one of the girls there had an eval done:

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=1418891

My Lyme doc works primarily with chronic fatigue and fibro patients.  The week before my clinic was very slow at sending some CMP results to her.  She is very supportive and said to email her the clinic phone number and she would ask them.  So I sent her an email.  I got the card for the clinic and copied the number down carefully to be sure I got it right.  I then got a call from my Lyme doc -    I had tried to put the clinic number down and instead put my own phone number down.   She has seen "the fog" before and tried to make me feel better.  Kind of funny and embarrassing at the same time.

Guess you can tell I've been a little preoccupied by all of these concerns.

Hi Single Mom,

I just want to jump in and say hi and welcome you too. I have had the Fibro for just over a year and life has really changed. Just as you I had to have my gallbladder out and had a major emotional issue to deal with and then came Fibro. I believe the emotional aspect is very huge.

I am so sorry about your husband and know the trauma there. Good for you that you are open with the children and having them pitch in more. No one can do it all, my you are still holding down a very challenging job. My best to you.

Hope we get to know you better.

Patsie