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Fibromyalgia
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Posted 7/27/2009 9:26 PM (GMT 0)
cry  hi. im feeling desparate. im in so much pain. ive been having to take 4 hydrocodone instead of the 3 im prescribed, so i will run out before the end of the month. i dont know what ill do, but im just trying to get through each day. i went to see my drs. pa last week and asked about several new meds. she seemed to get very put out with me and said that all the drugs i was asking about would not b prescribed by my dr. that i would have to go to a psychiatrist to get them. ? what do these meds have to do with a psych? i felt like she was saying my pain is in my head. has this happened to any of u? im depressed and crying every day. i dont know how much more i can take. ive been sick for over 11 yrs. ive gotten progressively worse and added new illnesses along the way. i have fibre, restless legs syndrome, chronic fatigue and pain, depression and anxiety, bi-polar, tmj, ibs, asthma, hypothyroidism, high cholesterol,sleep apnea, acid reflux ,insomnia, and others i cant think of , im sure. ive got an appt. with this pysch. on aug. 6. im on meds for everthing i have and my pa did prescribe zanaflex which has helped me sleep better. ive gained alot of weight over the past few months, which doesnt help anything. i desparately need support. my husband tries, but doesnt really understand. he alwats suggests things that im not able to do and then i feel guilty about that. my 19 yr old daughter, whos home for the summer, can b really nice about it sometimes but most of the times she is really mean to me about it. i know she is just angry about me being sick and not able to do much, but when i suggest playing games or watching tv with me, she always has something else to do with her friends or her boyfriend. she is usually such a sweet kind hearted person to everyone else. i dont understand y she cant b that way with me. ive done everything i ever could for her ever since she was born. i used to do so much 4 her and her friends . all of her friends love me. i think she is upset that she doesnt have the same mom she used to have. im sorry for her but i cant help it. sometimes i feel my family would be better off without me. i feel as if i contribute very little to this world. my plans 4 my life did not include being so sick. and now im almost 50 and i feel time is passing me by. i cannot continue to live like this. i tried to make my pa understand that i firmly believe that if my pain would better controlled, i would have less severity of my other illnesses. im depressed bcause i hurt not the other way around. i know i would not b cured but i think i would feel much better. ive been to 2 pain management clinics in the past. 1 treated me as if i were a drug addict, and the other said he was sorry but there was nothing they could do to help me. please reach out to me if you have any words of wosdom, advice, or just hope. thank u 2 all u who took the time to read this. i really appreciate this. ps. i dont know how to post my illnesses and meds. ill try to figure it out soon. trust me, ive been to all types of drs. and am on meds. for everything! ive even tried several alternative  things. nothing has helped.
Posted 7/27/2009 9:51 PM (GMT 0)
cbear, I'm sooo sorry you are having such a rough time.  I know you have seen a lot of doctors but you need to see a doctor that believes in fibro.  You need a doctor that will check  you out thoroughly, too.  There are other problems that have the same symptoms as fibro.  I'm a little worse than I was when first diagnosed 22 years ago but you sound like you are a lot worse!  Fibromyalgia isn't a problem that gets progressively worse...at least that's what the doctors say.  As I said, I've gotten worse but not a lot worse.

Your depression is definitely playing into this.  Depression and stress cause more pain with fibro.  Most of us don't produce enough seratonin in our brain and so we take antidepressants.  Perhaps that's why it was suggested that you see a psychiatrist.  I don't know all your medications but a doctor would be able to give you something that doesn't interact with what you are taking now.  Maybe  you are taking things that aren't helping you, too, and perhaps you can get rid of those meds.  It is important, though, that you take the medication as directed by your doctor.  Taking more is not good and that can cause the doctor to think  you are a drug seeker. 

You need to try to relax and not feel like no one cares.  I'm sure your daughter cares a lot but she is young.  She has some growing up to do and she doesn't understand about this illness.  Adults and doctors don't understand it!  But, I know your family loves you but could be frustrated that they can't help you. 

Do you have any hobbies or things you enjoy doing?  I find that if I get busy doing something I enjoy, the pain will fade in the background.  Some like sewing or art or writing...we have a mod that loves making quilts.  I love working on genealogy.  I'm mentioning these to give you some ideas.  Doing things like this do help to take your mind off your pain.

Moist heat could help you.  Hot showers and baths make those muscles feel so much better.  Some of us have a Bed Buddy.  You can get these at Walgreen's and other places.  You put them in the microwave and heat them up and they give off moist heat.   You can make your own, too.  Take a tube sock, fill it 2/3's full of raw long grain rice, and tie a knot at the end.  Pop it in the microwave and it will give off moist heat due to the moisture in the rice.  It feels wonderful on those aching muscles, too.

Be sure to keep moving.  If you sit or lay too long you will be stiff as a board and in more pain.  Do gentle exercises to start out.  I use these daily.  There is a list of them in the Fibro 101 thread, which is now the first thread on the forum.  Also, light exercises are good for you.  I do a lot of walking.  If you have access to a pool, swimming or water exercise is good for you.

I hope you get some help soon.  Please try not to be thinking about how you are feeling 24/7.  Instead, start thinking about all the good things in  your life.  I know you have that.  You just have to look.  Look around at the flowers, the clouds, etc.  These things are so beautiful and peaceful and you need some peace in  your life.  If you are a praying person, that can relax you too.  But, I do hope you are feeling better soon.  Please let us know how you are doing.  We really do care about you.  I'll be waiting to hear from you. 

Sherrine 

Posted 7/27/2009 10:03 PM (GMT 0)
thank u so much 4 your quick reply. i know u r so right about what youve said. i think ive given up, which is a terrible reaction. i do have a strong faith, but even the "friends" i had from church seem to forgotten about me. im not able to go very often. most of my other "friends" have also fallen by the wayside. ive tried so hard not to talk about my illnesses with them so as not to drag them down with me. but i realize that new friends r not going to just show up at my door. i have to get out of bed, out of this house and try some new. things. i have alot of plans but not alot of willpower to make myself do them. im going to try some of your suggestions and try to quit feeling sorry for myself. thank u again for caring!
Posted 7/27/2009 10:25 PM (GMT 0)
cbear, it's the depression that makes you not want to do things.  I've gotten that way at times, too.  What you need to do is make a plan for your next day and do it.  Don't procrastinate.  For example, today I needed to take a gift to a friend and then I swung by a grocery and picked up a few items.  Tomorrow I will dust and vacuum.  (Yuck!)  Wednesday I have a hair appointment so that gets me out of the house. 

 

It's not good to stay home all of the time.  It's too easy to fall into that pattern and that can make you more depressed.  How about seeing if one of your friends wants to go out to lunch!  You are waiting for them to contact you.  You just might have to contact them.  I'm sure you can find things to talk about besides illness.  As a matter of fact, I wouldn't mention how you feel.  If they ask you could just say you are holding your own and then change the subject.  You will end up having a nice time and probably a few laughs.

 

Do you have a dog?  I started walking my dog first thing in the morning.  No, I don't want to but it makes me feel better!  My dog loves it!  When I started walking, I couldn't go very far but now we walk a mile every morning before breakfast.  It helps keep your muscles strong.

 

Take up a new hobby.  Maybe you can find something that you enjoy doing that you can give away as gifts.  I've thought about learning how to crochet.  I'm also going to try growing bonsai.  That would be easy and fun to watch.  I'm also trying to grow orchids.  Not having great luck but I enjoy it anyway.  I think you've got the idea. 

 

Make a plan for tomorrow.  When you accomplish it, you will feel so good!  Make it small.  If you complete it and want to do something else, go for it!  Always pace yourself and you will start to get your life back.  Don't let fibro steal it.  You have many good times ahead of you to enjoy!  Again, let me know how  you are doing.

 

Sherrine

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