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Posted 9/27/2010 5:19 PM (GMT 0)
Well friends tomorrow is the day I go in for my next cat scan Im really praying that the tumor has shrunk quite a bit so that I only have to have the 4 chemo treatments instead of 6. This last one was pretty tough  rolleyes  . My next chemo treatment is Thursday and that is when I will find out the results of the cat scan.

I had a really bad night last night. My son and his ex-girlfriend got in a fight again and she doesn't seem to want my grandson. On top of this my son threatened to kill himself and took off so I went out looking for him. Found him not far from his house sitting under a tree. He was drunk of course. I told him "Im fighting for my life for all of you and your out here threatening to kill yourself." What sense does that make. He did apologize and promised not to do anything stupid. I couldnt get him to come down here though but his ex-girlfriend texted me shortly after we left him that he had come back to their house to pass out.

I told him it was time for him to grow up and quit drinking. If I can quit smoking after 37 years he should be able to stop the drinking. His son needs him. I feel so much pain for the little one. My son brought him over the other day to visit and he cried so hard when my son went to take him home. I know that his home life is not very happy or he would not cry like that.

I wish that I could take him and if it comes down to it I will no matter how hard it is. Better that than seeing him so sad.

Thanks for listening, I guess I just needed a chance to vent. Please pray for me that the test results are good tomorrow. yeah

 

Gentle Hugs

Shirley

Posted 9/27/2010 5:47 PM (GMT 0)
Shirley, I'll be praying for great "pictures" tomorrow!  I hope you  don't need the full chemo schedule, either.  That is so hard on  you and your body but thank God we have it! 

 

Alcohol.  I HATE it.  Alcohol destroyed my brother and his families...yes two families with five children in total.  It's an addiction and should be treated as such, in my estimation.  It does make the person very selfish and they seem to only think of themselves and their next drink.  This isn't really your son...it's the alcohol speaking.  My brother was wonderful until he decided to start drinking to solve problems.  It only caused more problems and by the time he passed on, his children were not in contact with him anymore.  I hope your son will wake up and make the hard choice to get off this stuff. 

 

It's terrible that you have to deal with this too, but you are a strong person, Shirley.  Concentrate on yourself right now.  You can't be stressing over what your son is doing.  Perhaps only have contact when he is sober because I'm sure it is affecting you.  He needs to be mindful of what a battle  you are going through right now.  Maybe your husband can speak with him.  Meanwhile, you will be in my prayers.  Remember, you concentrate on getting better and don't let this negative stuff side-track you.  You can deal with this once you are healthy again.

 

Sherrine

Posted 9/27/2010 6:03 PM (GMT 0)
Prayers, hugz and finger's crossed that you get good results...
will be thinking of you..
((((((((((((((((((((((((((Shirley)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
healing hugz
Posted 9/27/2010 6:27 PM (GMT 0)
Good luck to you and prayers that the tumor is shrunk a good bit !!
hugs
Lisa
Posted 9/27/2010 6:35 PM (GMT 0)

Please concentrate on yourself right now and if you can (easier said than done I know) put the other situation on the back burner.  I will for sure be praying for you and please let us know how Thursday goes.  You just keep on being an inspiration to all of us Shirley.......Truly amazing!

Posted 9/27/2010 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
Shirley, I'm praying that your cat scan will show that your tumor has shrunk.

Please take care Shirley, and try not to let his actions upset you. I pray that he
will find help for his drinking. Don't give up hope for him. My dear Dad had a bad
drinking problem all the years I was growing up. He joined AA when I graduated
from high school. He became a mentor to many throughout his 40 years of sobriety.
Even when my Dad was dying, he continued to mentor people at his home. When
he was too ill to attend AA meetings, members would come to my parents home
and get encouragement from my Dad. At my Dad's funeral many people came up
to me and told me how my Dad had changed their life...and helped with their sobriety. There is always hope!!!!

Hope your chemo goes well on Thursday. Youare in my thoughts and prayers!

Hugs, Robin
Posted 9/27/2010 8:19 PM (GMT 0)
I just want to tell you all there was a humurous side to all this. When you feel your childs life is in danger you dont take the time to get dressed when your in your pj's and you totally forget that you have no hair. Luckily you did grab a jacket that has a hood. Never thought about the fact that I would actually have to get out of the car at some point. So here I am standing outside with my pjs on and my hood up trying to duck behind the tree when a car would go by. lol
Even had a police car go by thought for sure he would stop to check out why we were out there. Luckily he kept on going. lol
Gentle Hugs
Shirley
Posted 9/27/2010 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
Praying that the tumor has shrunk and you are on the road to recovery.  It's great that you can look at the humorous side of life even with all the stress.  My sister is an alcoholic.  I haven't spoken to her sober in 30+ years.  Sometimes you just have to love them anyway realizing that love isn't always enough. cry

Huggies

Donna

Posted 9/27/2010 10:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hey, Shirley,

I'm reading all these posts, hopeing, praying and wishing for all this to turn better. I'm practically in tears. Then I get to your second post and almost burst out laughing. I went through the cancer with my mom. (She was sick, not me). I slept in her hospital room. I was afraid to leave her side. I wanted to be there incase my getting her some ice chips made her feel better, or to make sure she didn't fall getting to the toilet. Anyway, I have two funny memories (amongst many horrible ones) of her (because of the morphine) reaching out in front of her, in the air, like she was grabbing at something. I asked her what she was grabbing for and she said "The cob-webs. They're everywhere. Can't you see them??" and then there was the time that I had to leave (don't remember what for) and when I came back in, she was asleep. She was talking in her sleep, PLAIN as day saying "Please don't take it away, don't..don't take my whopper!! And the Big Mac.. leave that too. I want that too..." (She was rambling on about fast food - which she almost NEVER ate..lol). When she woke up I asked her if she had been dreaming. She didn't remember her dream then.

Anyway, my mom pulled thru and has been in full remission for 5 or so years?? I can't remember what the guide lines are, how many years you have to be cancer free before they consider you in remission but that was back in 1999 when she was fighting. She's healthier now than she's been in a long time. Her problem back then was the chemo too. It really took a toll on her. But she was getting radiation treatments at the same time and well... too much!!

My prayers are with you. I know what you are going thru, cancer and your son. Be strong and don't sweat the small stuff.

Oh, and another memory that makes me laugh is going to the wig shop and watching her try on CRAZY FUNNY wigs that were so oppisite of who she was and she'd go rambling on "Oh darlin, don't I look fabulous!!" lol
Posted 9/28/2010 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
Shirley,

Wow, this isn't what you need! You are indeed strong and your humor makes you even stronger. It's so hard not to go that extra mile when our kids are in trouble, even if we feel like we don't have anything left to give - somehow we have to try. Did you ever read "The Giving Tree," by Shel Silverstein? It's so good. A tree gives up everything, over the years, to a boy s/he (?) loves. It's a children's book, but like so many, it can teach us all.

I too hope your report is good....

Hugs, Debbie
Posted 9/28/2010 2:42 AM (GMT 0)
Sending prayers for you and your family. You are dealing with a lot right now. 'mI sending positive thoughts for some encouraging news for you.
Big hugs.
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