Didn't plan on being away so long.

I was going to take a short break in August and it ended up being a much longer break than expected. We usually take a vacation in mid-August for our anniversary and what should have been a relaxed time really wasn't. My DM, who is on hospice, has been in and out of the hospital w/ infections. They didn't treat her, just held her there and then sent her home. The stupid dr that covers the hospice patients said she was sending her in for tests, but didn't and wouldn't return calls. The problems she had had nothing to do w/ the dx she has for hospice. She was in terribly pain that morphine couldn't reach. We finally got her reg dr on this and he ordered the right tests and the meds were given. The infection has cleared up and she feels so much better.

My DH had gotten sick at work (again), told his mgr he needed to go home. The mgr said if he left they would have to 'write him up'! He left anyway, thank God. The ride home is over 1hr. By the time he got home he didn't look right. I took his bp, it was very low and his breathing was ragged. I asked my DD to call our dr w/ info and I rushed my DH to the ER. Triage was testing him, saying his #s looked ok to them, when our pcp called the hosp and told them to admit him. He was there for several days. We also found out he has COPD to add to the laundry list of illnesses. I had to contact his mgr to let him know DH would be out and why. Oh, he was so concerned! After DH was released we had to go to the dr for return to work note. Then DHs company said he had to be seen by their dr before returning to work. Their dr felt all this heat and work conditions were too much for DH, he told him he should file for disability and get a lawyer. Same thing I said, for quite awhile before this.  The HR guy at the company has helped us tremendously all thru this and now my DH is retired and they have him on short term disability, w/ long term to follow and he has applied for SSD. We are also covered by company health insurances till DH turns 65. He turned 62 earlier this month. I was so afraid this job would kill him, it has been a brutal summer and yr.

My DH and I were both able to get permanent parking placards, which also makes things so much easier for us.

My dr wants me to see a few drs. I have already started w/ cardiologist. I am scheduled for ABI, Echo and a 'drug' stress test, since he doesn't think I could do the treadmill anymore. I also need to go to a dermatologist due to growths my pcp noticed. Even w/ sunscreen on I burn - 'Celtic Tan', and she doesn't like what she see over many areas of my body. I will schedule that ASAP.

We are also dealing w/ something these past few months that is just killing me. I have spoken many times about my darling 'Evil Puppy', my Trevor is dying. We had taken him for a biopsy the end of June and were told it was Cutaneous Lymphoma. The dr said Trevor would probably have about 4 months and I know our time is running out. I can't even put into words what this dog means to me. He saved me at the lowest point in my life. He has always been my shadow, always no more than inches away from me. I cannot, I will not let him suffer, but this is just breaking my heart. I have always had dogs in my life, but this guy is different. My DH and my children are so upset. Trevor is a most loved little boy.

Didn't mean to make this so long, but it has been a very busy, hectic, stressful and draining time. Yrs ago during my lowest point, a very dear friend of mine told me something I still hold onto. "Sometimes all you can do is pray to God and just put one foot in front of the other.' That is my therapy.

Hope you are all doing well today.

God bless.  Alice.

Debbie, the reg dr is great, but there seems to be a *contest* btw him and this hospice nurse that comes to the house. She insisted that my DM HAD to be taken off of hospice to be treated at the hospital. I had to sign her off or no treatment. I signed off of it. The treatment has to be at the hospital, as she can only use 2 antibiotics, others are useless now. The med must be given by IV. When she came home, the 'reg' nurse from hospital came to see about post hospital care. She couldn't understand why DM was taken off of hospice, she got thru to the reg dr and he was able to reinstate DM to hospice. Usually there is 90 day wait and review, he cut right thru that. I hate power struggles that leave sick ppl in limbo. DMs CNA is an angel, she and my mother get along great. Hopefully, that mess is settled.

My DH is getting use to being retired. He is finding there is SO much to do around the house, lol and of course there are the many History Channels to amuse him. We have had so many dr appts in the past month, and October is looking rather busy, too. We have been taking our daily walks by the water, heavenly and we just got a Tai Chi dvd from the library that we will watch today. We are waiting for the short term disability cks to come in, so we can pay these drs, mortgage, groceries, etc.

I haven't told many ppl about my Trevor. My children know, of course, and I told my sister. She is going thru the same thing w/ her elderly 'puppy'. My Fur Nephew is a sweetheart, too. My baby is 13 yrs old, I'm praying that he sees 14 in January, but I don't think that will happen. My children have always teased me about my 'Evil Puppy'. Trevor would do something 'evil' and I would laugh, the children would look at me and say, 'If I did that, you would kill me'. I guess they thought I was too strict w/ them. Trev would do something and as soon as he knew I was looking at him he would give me that 'sad' look and roll over belly up. I had to laugh. He would always sit on 'my' blue rocking chair, till I couldn't sit in the rocker anymore. When I had to sit on the couch, he had to sit on the couch - after I left. Last yr I ended up in the hospital, thought I was having a stroke, it turned out to be a panic/ anxiety attack. The thing that set me off that day - I had taken Trev to the groomers, he gets a bit snappy w/ them so vet had given him 'anxiety' pill to relax him. They called me to say Trev was foaming at the mouth and not too responsive. I thought he was dying. We rushed up there and every minute of the ride was torture. By the time we got there he was much better, but I was in paralyzed state. I told my dr what set me off, and she understood, some ppl get really into their dogs. Severe understatement!

I feel so bad reading about the precious dogs you have lost and the dear ones that are suffering now. I thank you for sharing your stories about them, I know how hard it is to talk about and even write down. Your sharing gives me strength.

Sherrine and Donna, I don't ever want to leave you speechless, I appreciate your thoughts and your friendship. All of you ladies are a treasure, I am blessed. Thank you w/ all my heart.

God bless.   Alice.

Robin, I wish I could always put into words the feelings in my heart. If my words were of comfort to you when you were losing your beloved father, then I am happy I could be there for you. I know what you mean, sometimes you wish you could just reach thru the computer and share a 'real' hug. Your words always warm my heart and have a healing way about them. I do appreciate that so much. My mother has always stood by me, she has been so strong thru so many things in her life. Your words make me blush, I'm no angel. I just love my mother. My DH is doing better, we have seen 3 drs this wk alone. Trevor has been put on pain med, 3x a day if necessary. He's doing well during the day, we just give a pill at night - wrapped in a piece of meat (spoiled baby!) and he settles down w/ us. I have quite a few 'angels' in Heaven, I've got to be good, I want to see ALL of them again.

Thank you for wanting to share your chocolate w/ me - I grew up in a family of chocoholics, none of them wanted to share w/ me. 

ldyd, you sound like you have got a sweet baby girl in your Sarah. I get the same way when I'm away from my 'puppy', and he doesn't do well when he has been away from me, either. I hope Sarah continues to do well w/ this medication. It must have been so hard for you and your DH when you got that phone call about your MIL. I am so glad you were there to comfort each other. I hope you and your entire family are doing better. Thank you for kind words, they mean a lot to me.

Hope you are all having a peaceful and pain free day.

God bless.  Alice.