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Welcome, Evenkeel and Redjane!

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Fibromyalgia
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Posted 4/5/2011 12:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Evenkeel and Redjane, and welcome to the fibro forum!  I'm so glad you found us and joined our family.  We have wonderful members who love to help one another and, as a bonus, we really do care about each other, too.  I think you will like it here.

 

Fibromyalgia is a weird illness.  There are no tests to prove that you have fibro so they run every imaginable test to rule out other illnesses before a diagnosis of fibro is given.  Of course, even though we feel like we were hit by a Mack truck, all of the tests come back normal.  Go figure!

 

Much of the pain that feels like joint pain is actually the muscles, tendons, and ligaments that move the the bones in the joints.  The bad thing is it really hurts but the good thing is it doesn't destroy your joints like arthritis can.  I have had fibro for 24 years and have had a full and enjoyable life in spite of it and you can too!

 

I have not been without pain since I developed fibro.  When someone says that fibro comes and goes they actually mean you can hurt or you can be in misery.  The misery part is called a flare. 

 

It is important to find what works for you to help you control the pain.  everyone is different.  There is no one thing that will help all of us.  You just keep trying things and see what works for you.  I use ibuprofen with food, extra strength Tylenol, malic acid/magnesium supplements, and vitamin D3 to help with pain and fatigue.  (There are links about the vitamins and supplements in Fibro 101.)  I also do gentle stretching exercises and gentle exercises, like walking, swimming, or yoga daily.  I also get a gentle massage from a therapist that has been trained to massage clients with fibro.  I also pace myself.  I can get things done but not in the same time frame as before fibro.  This combination works well for me.

 

One of the best things that has helped me is keeping a positive outlook on life.  If I don't, I feel much worse and no one wants to be around me.  I take one day at a time because I know I can make it through a day and I don't project myself in the future.  Why worry about the future when no one knows what the future holds? 

 

Be sure to check out Fibro 101...the first thread on the forum.  There are links to good info about fibro and you will learn a lot there.  Good links to start out with are Symptoms, What Else Could It Be, A Thorough Explanation of Fibromyalgia, Gentle Stretching Exercises, and Maintaining a Positive Attitude-10 Strategies. 

 

I'm looking forward to getting to know both of you!  Don't hesitate to ask questions because we are here to help you.  I hope to hear more from you soon.

 

Sherrine

 

 

Posted 4/5/2011 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
I just wanted to welcome you two to the forum also. Sherrine gave you some great advice.

Hugs, Karen

wishing you both days without pain and fatigue.
Posted 4/6/2011 3:00 AM (GMT 0)
thanks! This only became real to me about a month ago, so I guess I was in denial. Well, this last weekend changed that. Can't say that I'm not in mourning for my life as I knew it but I will come to accept this and live better for that acceptance. I guess knowing is better than just feeling like crap every so often w/out a cause. The part I am struggling with the most right now is how to mannage everything I do in a week. I also have a 15 yr old son with ADHD & Tourette's so I don't really ever get a break. He is in the stage of independence and checking up on him is a full time job! I work 40 hrs a week as an Architectural Designer but I fear that I will not be there much longer. I also adore my two giant "puppies" who need me to play with and groom them. I am having trouble not leaning on my Dom. Partner too much; he has his hands full also and has always valued my physical strengh and my endurance to get the roughest of jobs done right by his side, sigh. Read the Positive attitude link, mabey I should read it again :P... Anyway, Thanks for the welcome!
Posted 4/6/2011 1:02 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the welcome! I think I'm still in denial, actually, mostly because I have so much disbelief that it's possible to feel like this for so long (over six weeks so far with no break). I'm starting to accept that this is how life is going to be, though, and I should start planning how to live my life as normally as possible. I have two kids, one with Asperger's and the other with some difficulties that are going to be evaluated in July. It's a little crazy trying to get up the energy to deal with all of the extra school and home stuff that goes along with managing their difficulties. I'm starting back to work on Friday after an FMLA leave but I don't think I'll be able to hack it for long for many reasons, one of the biggest being that I find my job very difficult mentally/emotionally and I'm not very sure about how that's going to work with the fibro. My wife....I love her dearly and she's actually more accepting of this situation than I am, but she's not exactly helping to pick up the slack in any way and it's frustrating the heck out of me. It doesn't help that her father died a month ago and she's currently dealing with a knee injury, but she's very much a person that uses any excuse not to do housework anyway. We're looking at buying a house and the one we want is a lot bigger than the one we currently live in. I love it, but I'm dreading the thought of having to keep a bigger house clean without her help. I know a lot of it is just coming to terms with it, learning to cope and thinking creatively about how to deal with everyday life. I'm normally an optimist and have successfully dealt with some really difficult situations in my life, so talk to me in a month and I'll be in a much better place then. :)
Posted 4/6/2011 3:19 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome to you both! This is a great place to get and give support - and we all need it.

It is hard to give up Life Before Fibro. Mine started while I was in the middle of having babies, and there WAS no time to think, it was "put one foot in front of the other" time. So a lot of my grieving was postponed until later. So, I kind of acted out in my 40s.

Now I'm 56, wiser, in some ways sadder, expecting less but also grateful for what's still good in my life, which is a lot. Evenkeel, I hear you on worrying about a bigger house. We have a nice, roomy one that is way beyond our capabilites. But our daughter and her boyfriend are moving in for a few months to save money and she is a master cleaner/organizer, so hopefully, it'll be win-win! :)

Redjane, I understand how much you want to play with your big puppies; I can't do that anymore, either. But you can still show them love, and that's the most important thing.

Debbie
Posted 4/7/2011 7:33 PM (GMT 0)
I was hit with fibro when I was nearly 40 years old.  I'm now 63 years old and have had a full and enjoyable life in spite of fibro.  My children were ages 9, 10, and 13 when I was hit with fibro and one of my children had AD/HD, too.  It wasn't easy but we are very adaptable people and can figure a way around our illness/illnesses to live a good life.  We just have to look!  Also, you need to work as a family.  Everyone should participate in helping with the household.  Even toddlers can be given a small chore like picking up toys.  My kids did that.  When everyone pitches in, it makes light work for everyone and more time to have fun together!

 

Before fibro hit me, my Crohn's disease did.  I was 30 years old at the time and I had an infant, a 1 year old, and a 3 three year old at home.  The Crohn's was so bad that I couldn't be far from a bathroom because I had to use it about 25 times a day.  What a nightmare that was, but that was my life and I had to learn how to handle it.  I did, too, but my children did miss out on a few things like picnics.  Had to have a bathroom near.  Bummer.  But, they didn't realize that there was a problem!  Kids are adaptable, too.  wink

 

Evenkeel, I don't think I'd move under the circumstances.  You can't do everything plus your wife would have problems getting around a large home.  Maybe you could get a little larger home than what you have and, with the extra money you save by getting a smaller home than what you want, hire a cleaning lady.  That way you would have a little more space and you wouldn't have to work and come home and take care of the house too. 

 

But, both of you will learn how to have a good life with this illness.  Just keep persevering and you will be amazed at what  you can accomplish!

 

Sherrine

 

 

Posted 4/8/2011 10:19 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your replies! Sherrine-I'm working with the kids on taking on more responsibilities. I'm guilty of not expecting enough from them as far as house upkeep but it's getting there. As far as moving, I tried to keep the house hunt to smaller and cheaper houses. Unfortunately, all of the smaller/cheaper houses we found wouldn't pass FHA inspection, were all ready sold or weren't in our price range. The one we're trying to get is actually a lot of house for the money we'd paying and the mortgage would be slightly less than the rent we're paying right now. If I can stay at my current job we could probably afford to have someone come in to help with the cleaning. My biggest things are floors and dusting. If someone could just help with those (like giving the floors a good sweeping/mopping/vacuuming once a week and dust the house regularly) it'd be a huge help. My wife likes this particular house because if it comes to where I'd have a really hard time with stairs and such our bedroom could be on the main floor and I'd never have to go upstairs for anything. There's also actually a second family room on the main floor that could easily be renovated into a master suite with full bath or make part of it into a laundry room. We haven't been officially approved for financing yet, though, so it might all be moot. If we don't get it we have no plans to move otherwise.
Posted 4/8/2011 4:23 PM (GMT 0)
How old are your children?  Golly, a five year old can dust!  When I was about 9 years old I helped my Mom clean and I could run the vacuum and mop.  By the time I was 12 years old, I was helping cater my parent's parties (and I loved every minute of it, too)!  Kids are not helpless.  It would only take a handful of minutes for them to do some chores before they head out to play or do homework.  You are working and cleaning so they can go to school and help out at home.  And don't forget, these are great lessons for the children to learn.  They will have to take care of themselves one day.

 

My children were doing their own laundry when they were about 10 years old.  I was doing it, folding it, and putting it on the end of their beds for them to put away.  That's the least they could do.  Instead, they would toss them on the floor and then, when I had them clean their rooms, they would scoop up the clothes and throw them back in the laundry and many of them were still folded!  Nope!  I will not be a slave for anyone and they had to learn how to use the washing machine and dryer.  Funny thing.....I didn't see their clothes thrown on the floor anymore!  Hmmm....I wonder why?  turn

I hope everything works out for your new home.  It's a very exciting time for everyone.

Sherrine 

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