Relationships and Illness

Sorry to hear this. Some relationships survive, some thrive, and some fail whether or not illness is involved. Go to counseling yourself. A good counselor will help you deal with everything. If the counseling helps you, your husband may decide to give it a shot but even if he doesn't, you will be more able to handle everything. Life gets much easier when you learn that no one makes you feel guilty, you do it to yourself and can stop.

Since you are newly diagnosed, you should give yourself time to adjust to your new life. There are many things you can try to help yourself deal with the pain, fatigue, etc. Some people find help with meds, some try exercise, others use supplements, some use everything out there. You experiment and use what works.

It is way too soon to rule out kids, just make sure your relationship is solid first.

Your life will NOT be what you had planned but it is possible to have a wonderful, productive life with fibro. You never know what medicine will offer in the future.

Thank you for the advice and the kind words.
I have been trying to get better and do everything my doctor tells me. I still work full time and I just have "bad" days you know? Sometimes I can do everything I want to, other days? I'm a mess.. he almost expects that you go to PT and then you are better. I have tried to educate him, but it doesn't seem to work.

He's just distant and not himself. I have been going through really bad symptoms since late last year, I ended up taking medical leave because of the symptoms.. so I just don't understand why he can't sympathize at all.

I will look for a counselor, you both may be right. This may be what "I" need....

It also helps to know that you are not alone in what you're feeling and experiencing. After 14 years, it still helps me to read books periodically on Fibro just to refresh my mind as to the magnitude and all encompassing nature of it. Although I am new to this forum, it seems to offer the same thing. If I don't connect and refresh, I can easily succumb to those who do not 'believe' I am sick or do not understand to what degree. I can make myself crazy with those thoughts. If, on top of it, I am in close and extended contact with someone that doesn't get it, that would be a lot to withstand. My husband has been mostly supportive but it does weigh on him. He has the most trouble when I add another something on top of the usual. For example, he has real trouble when I get a migraine as it is then like too much - the straw that breaks the camel's back. He becomes very moody and sometimes angry. At these times, my husband, right or wrong, feels almost betrayed. It's like I am not the wife he bargained for and yet he loves and supports me so very much most of the time. I think all the daily inconveniences build up and a migraine or a particularly bad day will just set off this pent up stuff. It passes though. I have to be patient with me and with him. Your husband may just need some time to adjust. The final thing I'll share is something I did to help my family understand the disease. I force fed them a list of symptoms. With my kids and even my husband, I read to them. I didn't read a lot - just short excerpts. I would lose the kids if I read too much. I hung up a list of symptoms on the calendar and put a copy in the bathroom where my husband would see it. Good luck to you.