Is anyone here a shut-in?

I'm wondering how many of us are shut-ins - that is, spend most of our days housebound? I used to be so active, always doing something - studying, working, volunteering, running a household, etc.. Now - since about 2 years ago, I rarely get out because a) getting somewhere by car literally causes me pain and severe fatigue, and b) it takes a major effort to put myself together to do it. I have to start at least a couple of hours ahead of time. Getting out to the doctor or to physiotherapy is about all I can manage, and maybe the very occasional outing if the fibromyalgia is in a milder form. It has caused me to feel depressed and rather isolated. Does anyone else have the same sort of experience with being a shut-in, and how do you feel about that?

Hi Angelfeather,

I'm a shut-in. For the last four months I must have went out about ten times.
I used to walk everywhere, I loved walking outside on a beautiful day.
I had just started college again when my fibro started.

At the beginning, I could go out a little everyday, then if I went out three days in a row, I had to rest the next 2-3 days before feeling well enough to go out again.
Now, if I go out, even if it's just to the grocery store, a few streets away
I have to take the bus to and from, and I still feel as if I got beaten with a baseball bat. I'm so tired I can't even sit, it tires and hurts me.
Most of the time, I have to rely on others to do my groceries and go get my medications.I can tell they are getting sick of having to help me so much.
I try to do as much as I can but it is so little. I feel so useless.


Dear Starry-Eyes, I'm very sorry for your loss and your situation, I hope things will get better soon.

I have just started walking again as the weather has been unseasonably warm. Though I don't know how long it is going to last.

I am so sorry for your loss Starry eyes. I lost my first husband in 2000 to lung cancer. I have since remarried in 2007. So things can get better. Did you go to any grief counseling after your loss? If not, it is never too late. You could be still grieving. It is a long process. You might want to talk to somebody just to get over the hump. It really helps and it would help you to get out.

I know how it feels to be a shut in. I did it for years. But thanks to counseling and medications, I have been able to get back out. Not as much as I wish I could do, but enough to know I have done it. It isn't easy for me to go places. But I am managing. I seldom go out to visit, but I do. I do have many doctor's appointments though. Sometimes we have to push ourselves. Maybe we can just sit in the sunshine and enjoy the outdoors and fresh air. I think we all need that. I have walked most every day now for a week and I feel better. I just go around a big block, but it is exercise and takes about 15 minutes. I feel stronger when I walk.

I hope you all can get out and do things. Keep trying. And take it one day at a time. That is the best we can do, and honestly the easiest.

Hugs, Karen

Hi Karen, I am glad you got back out walking again. I hope you will be able to do it more often. I don't like the big humidity so going out in that would not be for me but nice temps I hope I will be able to take out my little dog.



How wonderful for you that you found love and remarried. for me Karen I had a wonderful man and I don't want ever to get married again. He was so wonderful and understanding. he was just a good person.



Yes I had grief counselling but it didn't do it for me at all. I wish it did.
I think being sick didn't help either.



I am still grieving and I wish I had someone even to walk to the corner and back with just to take the fear away.



I was a member of a widow's board....and made a nice friend there. albeit we dont live in the same country. we email alot..



Yes it is good even for 15 minutes to walk.. and I am glad you do it. I think with me the fear of the vertigo is what does it. I have called our local health place here to send me someone to my house to help me get out and I am still waiting for them to call me back.



I hope I am making sense here as I would love to write more....but I really dont feel well know and it is hard.



Hugs.

Namian. I hope you will never become a shut in. please no... If my husband was alive. I would have gone out... even with the fear of vertigo... he was so kind so gentle. he held my hand everywhere... in case of something..

I would want to take my little dog with me... to walk out . I have a cane
don't want to have a walker yet... oh no.. I know it would be best but
I don't want that route yet..

Thanks so much everyone, I appreciate all of your responses. Now, if I could only figure out how to use the codes (for bolding and increasing the size of font), I'd be in heaven - but I can't, fibrofog is bad today, I feel like I've been hit by a train, so reading the mCode help section is hopeless ... sigh ... I actually appreciate the larger font size because my eyes are so bad.

Starry-Eyes - I am so sorry for all your losses <warm gentle hugs>. Your husband sounds like he was your best friend and a very special man, and his untimely death was a cruel blow to you. That emotional pain, on top of the fibro pain, is truly a terrible burden for you to carry. And it sounds like it's still fresh for you ... I'm sorry that you were not able to speak with a grief counsellor who could be more helpful. Most times, it's a case of finding someone who is the right fit for us. Not every counsellor is helpful for everyone, and sometimes it takes 3 or 4 tries to get the right person on board with us. Do you think at some point, you might try again, with someone else? I hope you do ...
Do you have friends or family nearby, that could come to visit with you? Having some company is so important, to keep our spirits up. It's wonderful that you have a friend to email with, even if it is in another country.
I understand that for women in particular - who were once independent and self-sufficient and took care of everybody under the sun plus theirs and their neighbours' pets - to be hit with the blow of a disease like this one, is especially hard to deal with. To have to ask someone for help might feel awkward or uncomfortable for us, but do you think that most people are only too glad to be able to help us? We feel like we're imposing on them, but (in my case, anyway) they feel like they are doing something meaningful and useful by helping us.
It's so hard being a shut-in, but having vertigo on top of it makes it worse - Starry-Eyes, I keep you, as well as everyone else on this forum, in my thoughts and prayers, that you all may find the peace, relief and comfort that you need.

ak angel - I can relate to what you say about the energy it takes to get transportation and go places. Some days it's hard to change out of pyjamas into regular clothing but if we don't make the effort, it only feels worse.

Namian - I really like your idea of using a walker with a seat on it. I'm 59 and still consider myself young, and I use a cane - but using a walker makes sense and would get me outside more often, even just to walk around the yard.

Although I don't have vertigo like you, Starry-Eyes, maybe a walker would help you to at least make some baby steps? Even taking two more steps than you would normally take, is progress, and you can build from that every day. If you are able to get to your doorstep and stand just outside your door, count to 5 or 10 while breathing in the fresh air then come back in, that will be a good thing for you ... are you willing to try taking the baby steps, with all of us cheering you on?

Getting by - thank you for the positive message. Even though it takes a lot of effort to do it, getting outside into the sunshine for just a couple of minutes does bring a new outlook and is refreshing. While I don't get out very often, when I do, I enjoy it. Spending the next couple of days resting up from the outing is worth it :)

Sleeping Daisy - I so relate to the feeling useless! It's a huge adjustment from being active to being so limited and that's hard! It's a real challenge to find purpose, hope and meaning from this disease. On this forum, though, everyone serves a purpose: we all give of ourselves to each other - we serve the purpose of being in a community with others who co-suffer with us. We have the unique opportunity to be able to be compassionate and to empathise with others who have this painful disease, to offer our sympathy and sometimes suggestions, to travel together down this thorny road. And that makes us useful to each other, gives us purpose, hope and meaning.

blessings and peace