Worried about my future

Hello all. It's been a while since I've posted. My problems are recurring and I don't have anything to say other than rants. But I'm starting to get concerned now..

I went to the zoo yesterday. It's a fairly large zoo, but I didn't do any running or speed walking or hill climbing. Just walked around for four hours, maybe a little closer to five if you factor in the hike to and from the car. lol Anyway, towards the end of the day, I got a pain in my thigh. I started limping. Then a pain behind my knee. Then my feet. Today, I can hardly move. The muscles on top of my feet hurt, no matter how I lay them. My shins, calfs, thighs. I've been on the couch all day.

And let me tell you what.. I am worried. lol I've built my life around a retail career. When I turned 16, I worked at Target. Sears. Walmart. Retail is what I do. Walking for a living, helping customers for eight hours a day, is what I do. But since my symptoms got worse, I lost my job. I've been unemployed for four months and now I can hardly walk for three hours. How am I going to be able to get a job if I can't walk?

I haven't seen a doctor yet. I've had so many symptoms for so long, I've built up this notion in my head that I'm not sick. I'm just looking for something to complain about. If I take this to a doctor, he's just going to tell me not to do that. Take Advil. Rest. No doctor has ever helped me. It's hard to believe any doctor can. My family doesn't even believe me, how could a doctor?

I think I'm just a little overwhelmed by all of this. lol I just don't know how to handle it anymore. What should I do?

I think a lot of us have been where you are in one form or another. There are still doctors out there who blow off fibromyalgia symptoms, but I do believe that more and more doctors are becoming familiar with the disorder. There are also other issues that can cause the many of same symptoms, so I think it is worth investigating.

It took me a few years to get a diagnosis. My GP never entertained the thought, so I made an appointment myself with a Rheumatologist who did diagnose me with fibro.

Whatever is causing your symptoms, it's NOT all in your head. It took me a while before I realized that everyone doesn't hurt the way I do. I thought my pain was normal until I caught on that being hugged, or poked, or just plain walking shouldn't hurt. I was incredulous when I realized that most people don't hurt doing "normal" activities. That's when i started pursuing a diagnosis.

As far as your job goes, try to take one step at at time (no pun intended). There are other jobs in the retail industry that don't require standing. There are switchboard operators, dressing room attendants, office workers, etc. I've even seen cashiers with disabilities who sit on stools as they check out customers.

I really think your first step should be getting a proper diagnosis. Then at least you know what you are dealing with. It can seem overwhelming, but if you just take it in small increments, it is manageable. Many of the people on this forum do work, whether it is inside or outside of the home.

Good luck.

Hugs - Austen

I give you credit for walking that long. I have done it but  with the same results as you.

You can tell yourself that fibromalgia is real and you can treat some of the symptoms. Their is hope for us and I have proven that myself. We probably have all got to that point wondering if we can make it. I know I have before. I finally found some hope in this site and support to go on with life. I actually had to educate my dr's about fibro and how people were treating the symptoms. I started educating myself and building up a support system. I decided if others in my family didn't believe in it, it was their lose. I have found out if you limit your activities and limit your stress plays a huge part of feeling better. I know if I did what you did by walking several hrs, then I would cause my own miserey. I have learned so much like reduce my stress, light excercise, heat and supplements with small amt. of pain medication goes a long ways. I know we have those days wondering for our future. I have so much better feeling about it, if I only take one day at a time.

Thank you everyone for your support. :) Like I said, my family doesn't believe there's anything wrong with me so it's hard to go to them with complaints.

When you say "[pain] happens to all of us," do you mean fibro patients? Because I was with several other people and they had no pain. lol I always doubt that I have a problem. That's why I look so closely at my pain. When I had lung problems, I just thought it was all in my head. The only thing that kept me going, helped me know I wasn't accidently faking it, was that I took an asthma test and it showed I had a problem.

But when it comes to pain, pain is very subjective. If I tell my family, "Oh I went to the zoo and now I hurt everywhere," they just call me lazy and tell me to move around more often. And quite honestly, it's true. Since I lost my job, I've done very little exercise or movement. I stay at home a lot, clean the house, catch up on my shows. But I can't believe I got so weak so quickly. Like I said, I'm used to walking around for 8 hours a day. Even when I first started at Walmart, my job was to sit at a computer desk and design advertisements. I did that for three years, so starting at Walmart was a shock to my feet (from having to stand for so long), but in no way did I hurt as badly as I do now, and I've only been inactive since December.

I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything. I'm really just saying all this for myself. lol I feel like I constantly have to be on the defensive, so I always cover my bases and try to understand why I feel the way I do and how it's different from what everyone else feels, especially when it comes having to explain how I feel to a doctor. It's like he's trying to fit me, a square peg, into a round hole. So when he asks a question and I don't answer it the way he wants, he asks it again later in a different way, hoping to trip me up.

I have a rheumatologist saved on my computer. She helps Fibro (I'm pretty sure I'm remembering that correctly), I just don't know where to begin. I don't want to be the kind of person who goes in and says "I want to be tested for Fibro" and have my doctor think I'm crazy. But I also don't want to go in with a list of symptoms and have my doctor test me for something other than Fibro. There have always been a few things that have floated around in my mind. For example, I don't know the difference between chronic fatigue syndrome and Fibro. I have a lot of MS symptoms and Lupus symptoms. But I don't have the defining characteristics of anything. I could have Celiac design for all I know. I have so many small, minor issues and no one large problem. The main thing that brought me to Fibro was my breathing issues. And someone said a pulmonologist confirmed that Fibro patients have some kind of swelling in the lung or something.. I can't remember exactly.

I'm just ranting now. lol I'm just trying to find my place in the medical world, and I know I'll never accomplish that until I go to the doctor. But I'm afraid. I'll just have to get over that, I guess.

I'd go to the dr. and get those tests. I was tested for all of the above and it was only after my doctor ruled everything out that I got the diagnosis of fibro. As for the zoo, yeah that is a lot of walking without rests. I know I couldn't do it. My legs hurt all the time and I take 1/2 of a 5 mg Vicodin every 6-8 hours to be able to get up and move at all.

Your family is more likely to believe you if you have an actual diagnosis from the dr. I doubt I'd have gotten any sympathy from my husband if I'd just said I thought I had Fibro. Only after he saw me being tested for RA, lupus, MS and others did he realize that the doctor was taking me seriously.

As for work, have you considered being a bank teller? That is something that the skills from retail can transfer to. Many banks will let you sit on a stool, especially if you get a doctor's note.

Joy