Family stressors

Boy, it never stops.

Quick run-down-Mom getting older, sister getting sick and dying of leukemia, Mom getting breast cancer, masectomy, infection, cleaning sister's home, memorial #1, planning memorial #2 in hometown for family. I live in southern Virginia, family lives in northern Maryland, sister lived in New Mexico.

Spent day doing powerpoint of photos for memorial. spent yesterday with Mom, and tomorrow with mom, on doctor's appointments. Her memory is failing. Mom doesn't want to go shopping for clothes for memorial, for anything. Elderly aunt is flying into town and refuses to have someone pick her up. Tried a couple of different ways, even being honest, but she insists on renting a car. Still trying to find a home for father's record collection (old dixieland jazz) and sister's books (local university library). Ready for some time off, though I seriously doubt I will be able to enjoy it.

I did it too, for my parents, who died 4 1/2 months apart. My brother is incapable of dealing - so it was 99% me. There's a fierce kind of love that pushes you forward, and even after they're gone, makes you protect their memories and their possessions.

I am glad that I went through all I did, with them and then on their behalf. The wear and tear was immense (I'm probably still paying, and I could have been smarter) but overall, I wouldn't change it.

You must be in such a blur. I hope you can find some relaxing time, and that you're not too super-fried to enjoy it, after all. Do try to protect yourself some, if you can.

Debbie

My thoughts are with you during this extremely busy and emotional time. I am sure everything will be done and done right. Please try to lock yourself in the bathroom for fifteen minutes and take that time to yourself. Wish I could offer something helpful. My condolences on your loss.

Thanks all. I appreciate the thoughts.

My big sister was the one to manage things. There was twelve years between us, so I didn't question it. Now, I am the one left to make these decisions, and I do have a bit of a perfectionist tendency!

I tend to push through things, and then deal with the ramifications later. The memorial here is Sunday, and am currently trying to balance different religious beliefs in the service, to do service to my sister, but to also help the rest of the family grieve.

Lots of deep breathing, proper eating, and some treats.