Seems to be impossible.

At therapy today my therapist said that I need people in my life that I can share my pain, disillusioned dreams, and etc with. That to do so only very rarely and in anonymity is not good for my mental stability. I do journal but in my day to day life I don't generally share how I'm adjusting, which emotions I go through, etc. I don't think people want to be burdened with that. I don't think when they call me to check in they expect a brief, "I'm ok".
My husband knows I'm in pain and he knows I hate being stuck at home. He works a lot and I don't want the few hours we have together to be me complaining. My friends can't begin to imagine my life right now. They are just beginning their lives with their hard earned degrees.
I'm wondering if the rest if you have heard this or if your more stoic like I tend to be in life. I feel too whiney here and I hate that. I guess that's why I'm curious.

I'm more stoic. I don't talk about my pain. You see this on the forum. Rarely do I mention how I'm feeling. I know people don't want to hear it all the time. They can't do anything to help us and it's frustrating to them because they dont know how to help. Its just nice knowing that they care and love us. That to me is the important thing. I definitely don't want to "chase" people away by talking about pain and illness all of the time. That's where this forum is good. If you feel the need to vent, we totally understand.

I figure I'm the one who has to live with my illnesses so I try to figure out ways to make my life easier and not burden others and I've been pretty successful at that. Our life is our responsibility and others really can't understand what we deal with anyway...unless they have the same problems. Then, add to that fact that each of us is different, have different lifestyles and different life problems. So I've never found that others could really help me anyway so I just don't talk about it. I just enjoy their company and talk about other things. That does make me happy, too.

Sherrine

Sherrine, that's how I feel. If it can't be fixed, why bother others with it? I've been dealing with a lot of things for a long time so I know they know. Who wants to keep hearing it?
I want them to see me as I want to be. I'm funny, I'm loyal, I am so much more than my pain and my health conditions. Just because I have to accept my limitations doesn't mean they should.
I want to give more than I receive so I try to help here. I'm not as helpful as others, I've not struggled with this problem as so many of you have and I'm still finding what helps me. I can bring humor. I use that everyday to help myself. If I can laugh at, how bad can it really be?

You sound like an extremely well-adjusted young woman! Perhaps your therapist should be paying you!

Yes we are FAR MORE than our health problems. I have a good sense of humor too and that has come in handy with my health problems. It's great to laugh when you do the foggy things. I'm a quick wit and loyal almost to a fault. I could go on and so could you and everyone else on this forum. We are so blessed in many ways.

Sherrine

I told my psychologist about this forum and she said it was wonderful that I've found you. She said she'd recommend it to some of her other patients.
I feel like I can tell her almost anything. I tell her how my pain is and how frustrating it can get trying to deal with the constant pain and hardheaded people.

I agree, it's SO hard to find anyone who really wants to hear it. And I honestly don't understand why....I'm interested in how people are feeling above all else. As I've gotten older and have more troubles of my own, though, it's exhausting, and I had to learn to cut them off at a certain point - - especially people who don't reciprocate the favor - - and that's almost everybody.


Guess I always was kind of an odd bird that way...my ideal job would be listening to people, but no one's offered to pay me for that ;) I had barely started working on my masters degree in rehab counseling, but then Fibro and kids conspired to squelch that.

Ah well. This forum is an absolute lifesaver for me.

Debbie

Lol, You go girl!! Maybe you could share some of your secret training methods with me. I could use them on my 10 year old.

Oh, they both can read. They both can load and unload the dishwasher (stack plates and stuff that they can't reach on the counter). They have to keep their rooms clean, make beds, and they help fold. My son loves to vacuum and they take turns with the litter box. So far, they don't even know they are being trained.

Mom's gotta start somewhere. I don't want my son to be one of those guys who can't take care of himself. As much as I love that he's a mommas boy, I don't want either of them dependent on me. A lot of this has been necessary because of my health but I think we've made it a positive.
I think my divorce and the way I've chosen to raise them (I believe in honesty, I don't bad talk their dad but I explain things when they ask in as open way as possible) has helped them want to help me. They aren't perfect by any means but we have a very solid relationship that I hope we are always able to maintain.

They better or mommy will start meeting the bus with her hair standing all over and wearing her bathrobe, wife beater, and leopard print yoga pants. It won't be pretty for anyone! My son is just old enough to start getting embarassed. My daughter likes to make me play mommy and baby duck where we waddle and quack. Her favorite place to do this is in the mall. He turns beet red. Lol

Right now they are with my mother in law again cause my immune suppressed self got the flu. Running a fever of 103 and trying to keep hydrated. It's been a while since the chills were so bad that I had to seriously consider if going to the bathroom was worth it.
I'm lucky to have my mother in law. My kids are her step grand kids but she adores them and is always here to help.