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I like my rheumy, but...

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Posted 6/5/2013 3:38 AM (GMT 0)
I am not a touchy-feely person. Every time I see him, he is touching my hands or holding them, like he is about to tell me I have a terminal illness or something (you know how in movies they are always holding the patient's hand when they have bad news.) I get that for some people that is comforting, but it is just awkward for me. Would it be odd for me to request him not to do that? I get he needs to poke and prod at me to figure out my pain levels. I am fine with that. But him holding my hands in his while he explains things is awkward.

He calls me "captain" too, but that I can tolerate, it's just quirky.
Posted 6/5/2013 5:38 AM (GMT 0)
Reanna,

Well! That's a different one. I would probably feel uncomfortable with that, too. Does he seem more of a fatherly type, or do you get the feeling he's actually coming on to you??

In any case, I'd say you're well within your rights to tell him just what you told us, that you're not comfortable with that much touching in general. Or maybe just move your hands...put them in your pockets, if you have any when you're being examined?

The one that gets me is when they call me "dear." Grrr. For some reason, it sounds so patronizing coming from most people...I realize many people just say it as a matter of course, but it still grates.

Debbie
Posted 6/5/2013 5:49 AM (GMT 0)
At least yours touches you. Mine has touched me very little.
I would be bother though with someone holding my hand like that-young or old.

Maybe you can find something to do with your hands that will keep him from touching them? Mine always hurts too much most of the time if touched.
Posted 6/5/2013 6:48 AM (GMT 0)
I think I'd just say I'm not a touch feely person. I'm sure as a doctor he has encountered that before. Just try to keep it light and I'm sure it will be ok.
Posted 6/5/2013 11:47 AM (GMT 0)
I think I would just keep my hands inaccessible. Maybe have something like notes in your hand or just fold your arms (or sit on them-LOL!).

Is he an older doc? Just wondering. I can't remember the last time I heard anyone call someone else 'captain'!!
Posted 6/5/2013 1:23 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with Luvsminis. I would sit with my hands folded in my lap. If he were to reach for your hands under those circumstances, I would just say, "I would rather not.". I highly doubt that he would reach for your hands if they were folded and in your lap.

Sherrine
Posted 6/5/2013 8:26 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, he is 67 y/o, more fatherly but a great specialist for Fibro in the area and very published on the topic.
Posted 6/5/2013 11:19 PM (GMT 0)
Congrats on finding a good doctor! They seem to be rare these days.
Posted 6/5/2013 11:44 PM (GMT 0)

Sherrine said...
I agree with Luvsminis. I would sit with my hands folded in my lap. If he were to reach for your hands under those circumstances, I would just say, "I would rather not.". I highly doubt that he would reach for your hands if they were folded and in your lap.

Sherrine


Tried that. he just touches the tops of my hands then.


The captain thing.. I am the "Captain" of my "illness ship" and my husband is the "navigator"
Posted 6/6/2013 12:14 AM (GMT 0)
He touches the top of your hands when they are in your lap? If so, tell him to please not do that. You find that offensive.

Sherrine
Posted 6/6/2013 5:50 AM (GMT 0)
You would think that a fibromyalgia specialist would know that it hurts when people touch us! I hardly ever let people touch me because it hurts so bad. Just tell him you have allodynia - so holding hands hurts! I'm sure he wouldn't want to cause you more pain.
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