marriage and fibro

I'm new to the forum also. In reply to your comment "there is nothing I can do but offer to get her meds", please don't underestimate yourself. My spouse tells me he doesn't believe in fibro and gets angry when I can't clean the house during flares. I went through and still go through stages of grief from living with fibromyalgia and being angry is one of them.

I wonder if she's really angry at you, or just angry and maybe feeling down about her health? Sometimes people can lash out at others over things that aren't even connected.

You sound like a wonderful, understanding husband---much like mine. Maybe just try to lend an ear and don't take her anger personally. If you can, maybe have a nice heart-to-heart talk with her and try to see where her feelings are coming from.

Does she want to talk it out, or is she stuffing it inside? Could you maybe go out for a nice quiet dinner and a relaxing evening and try to gently find out where she's coming from?

If she's depressed, certainly her doctor could help with an anti-depressant, as was mentioned above. You could try (if she's willing) to watch some good comedy to lighten things up. I like the old, old musicals or TV shows like "I Love Lucy," "The Andy Griffith Show," "Leave It To Beaver," etc.. They're fun, funny, and relaxing. You can find just about anything on DVD these days.

Don't take her anger personally. Anyone with any major health issue can often seem to blame others for the frustration they feel.

I hope things will be better soon! Prayers and best wishes for both of you. Keep us posted.

thank you all for the advise and information I was beginning to think that it was just me. It's hard to watch the person you love in such pain and when I ask if there is anything I can do for her she sometimes will lash out at me. which is hard to understand. one minute she could be ok and the next so angry.

Don't take it personally. She may have some anger at you over past issues, but she's likely as angry (if not moreso) at the situation. I know early on I was always angry and not having good treatment just made it more so. The Fibro often left me agitated and it took me a long to realize that an issue I'd had for years was part of the Fibro (this weird electric pain where I'd feel like i could feel energy coming off of other people if they were too close). That feeling always had me on edge. I was angry at life and at my illness for taking life away, but I took it out most often on my husband because he was here. He didn't deserve it there just wasn't anywhere else to aim it. She appreciates what you are doing even if she doesn't say it, just do your best to be there for her and let her know that it's ok that she's angry and that you'll do what you can for her.