update on my mom

im sorry i am making a new thread but there was so many replies so i figured i would start a new one. Talking with the nurse, all  her tests came back negative for infections or anything so they are no closer to figuring out why. she could have asperated into her lung(sp) but who knows. her liver is bad but it is not causing this. so they said that we should wait til monday before making a decision but come monday we will either have to take her off the plug or put a trach(sp) in. well i know mom wouldnt want to have a trach and be bed ridden and all the complications with that(there is a guy across from her with a trach and he looks miserable) so i am sure we will deny that procedure. so come monday we may be taking her off. i dont know how i am gonna go til monday but i will have no choice. when they tried to take down her sedation and the ventilator she became agitated and couldnt breath on her own which her nurse says that isnt a good sign but it isnt a darning sign either. so until then i am exhausted. my comanager at work is upset with me because of my time off and says maybe i need to take a leave of abscence but i cant afford that. come tomorrow i am going back to work but gonna switch my schedule monday so that i am not working so if they make us make a decision then we can.

oh just because im looking at worst case scenarios does the amean i have given up on my mom? my cousin yelled at me today saying that everyone thinks i have given up on my mom. well i havent i just know the possiblities. i asked my sis if that what she thinks and she says no that she just knows that i look at all t he scenarios and that she hates asking worst case scenerios because she is afraid the doctors will think that we dont want her to survive. i also had the chaplain come pray for peace and God's will to be done.

she had her first bm and no infections like i said but still dont know the cause. her urine to me looked really dark and we still may have to make a decision come monday but my sis is hopeful and i am still feeling its time.

worried girl,

Sorry that you have to endure this pain, and make such a hard desision, I can tell you first hand about a trech..

I used to take care of an elderly gentleman who had one, and they can get plugged so easily with muscus and blood, and then that makes them almost smother if you dont get it suctioned out, it is to hard for an ill person to do this themselves... 911 was called several times because his was plugged and he couldnt breath, that is when i took it upon myself to go over there 4-5 times a day/night and suction it out, becasue he lived by himself and had no family close--- so having one of those she will have to be around someone constantly that can help her do that.. also sometimes it is very hard to just suction out, it is not a good thing.. so hopefully you dont have to go that route, but if you do you sound like a strong person and will be able to get through it.... also to let you know.. to me it does NOT sound like you are giving up on your mom, you just want what is best for her--- I am sure almost everyone one would chose not to stay alive by a machine, no quality of life.... Sometimes I think the quality is better then the quanity.... take care, thinking of you !

Well she is now not producing alot of urine and her urine is dark. She is also swollen all over and her belly is. I asked if kidney failure and nurse says it's a concern but the doctors won't say that because the labs don't show it. They may take her off the ventilator to see how she does but if they do and she don't do well I don't want her back on. My sis is willing to leave her on til wednesday but she is in total denial about it. I don't know if they can intibate her again if I say no but my sis says yes. It's very frustrating cause she is showing minor improvements but her quality of life does not look good and I am fearing more things shutting down on her. I know she is ready and I don't want her to suffer any more

I did not realise that you had started a new post. We are all here to help you through this tough time, probably your toughest yet.
Sorry, I am a little confused, why do they want to put a Trach in?Is it becuase your mums lungs were aspirated.
When my mum took her last stroke, the doctors talked to me about DNR, but never asked me to sign anything. They also said if she did not come round, that the doctors had already said that she was not a candidate for a ventilator, because it would be very difficult for her to come off the ventilator because of her other complications. We had a bad 24 hours, but she did regain Consciousness so I did not have to make any decision. so my heart goes out to you, your mind must be all over the place, I am sorry you are having to go through it, its tough waiting. I know you have not given up on your mum, you are also realistic and as I have said before there is nothing wrong with that. Its in gods hands now, so I pray he chooses the right path for her. keep us posted

Has a decision been made to take her off the ventilator?  Does she have a Living Will?  I thought you had decided against tube feedings?  I understand that you are fighting your sister on everything.  Being on a ventilator and now having tube feedings, she could remain that way indefinitely.  If there is no significant change over the weekend, I hope you will seek legal advice next week.

Hugs,

Connie

WG, what type of surgery did they do?  So there was infection, after all?

I'm glad to hear that your sister is becoming more reasonable.

It's just a matter of how much her body can take, and God's will.

Thank you for keeping us updated, when I know you are under so much stress.

Hugs,

Connie

Worried Girl,

Hang in there, sorry you are going through all this heart ache and worry.... I am praying for you to have strength through all of this... take care

Well now they found an infection in her stomach and the port. This is bad all the complications isn't it?

Hang in there, You are doing so well holding it all together.

WG, I'm so sorry.   I am glad she is at peace now--something she couldn't seem to find while alive.  Please know that you did the best you could.

Hugs,

Connie

well i went to several different funeral homes and ended up finding one that will cost us only 2000 for service, showing, casket, creamation and all other costs not outside costs though. great price and we took it up. so friday night i will be attending a funeral and one of my hardests ones.

((((Worriedgirl)))), Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your mother.
Hold you head of high ......you did a wonderful job through some difficult times.

Thoughts and prayers.........