Hi, NC. Sorry, I was out today and just got home. I know that funeral must have been difficult, knowing that you may soon be facing your mom's. But everyone dies--some before they really need to, because of their self-destructive behavior, and others like my grandson die way too soon (24, with metastatic bone cancer.) You're right, it IS harder on the caregivers and those left behind, especially when there is absolutely nothing you can do to change things.
Since you work with elderly, it's extra hard on you to then be your mom's caregiver or just someone in her life. That is why it is so important for you to take time for yourself, to recharge your batteries and gain perspective. Go to a movie (preferably a funny one!), get your nails done, read a book...whatever will recharge you.
Big hugs,
Connie