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Posted 5/8/2011 2:06 PM (GMT 0)
it bothers me. a little. that my mom doesnt even know its mothers day.
Posted 5/8/2011 3:14 PM (GMT 0)
yeah that's sad... but u know everyday is mother's day... ur commitment to her everyday is a testament to mother's day... sometimes these days become more of Hallmark holidays girl... smile.. and enjoy what recognition she has... she's here.. enjoy what you can... Sandi
Posted 5/8/2011 6:01 PM (GMT 0)

You know the reality is that her memory is about gone.  So don't take it personally and try to accept this as the "new normal." 

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 5/9/2011 8:10 PM (GMT 0)
wow... so wonderfully said... NC... hope I can post this... Rick's got me all choked up... I was raised at Mooseheart, Illinois.... it's an orphanage for Moose orphans... by orphan... it meant most of our dads were dead... at the time that I went... 1958... moms were there... and these were moms who ... most of them had no trades.. had been stay at home moms.. so some of the moms came along and were housemothers... Mooseheart is a huge place... anyways... my dad had died... my mom... was in Elgin State Hospital... never having recuperated from post partum depression... and the electro shock... zapped what was left of her .... she never was even there much after that...
I was 3 before I even knew I had a mom... see we wore white carnations to church if our moms were dead... and red carnations if our moms were alive....well I had a red one pinned on me every mother's day... yet I never saw a mom... kids picked on me.... I was 14 before I looked into her vacant eyes which had no memory of me...she greeted me politely but looked beyond me as though looking for someone else... in her last days she did develop a relationship with a cousin of mine.. and I was so very happy for her that she could do that... she never did remember the three of her kids again... but we were happy for her... this messed me up for years... wanting her love... wanting a mom...until the day.... I stopped and thanked God for the life she gave me... and contemplated the horrors and the long trail that she traveled until the day she died...I found peace with her... and this was before she died... the three of us my brother sister and I stood over her in 2004 and buried her... a simple funeral... but we honored our mother... for her and for dad...today I am left with the pics of her... young and old... but as I see the pic of her as a young lady... I see all the hope promise and life she brought to my dad a newly released WWII Navy vet... and I can experience... what was a wonderous love.... as many have said... I have no memory of her knowing me as a daughter... and she has no recollection of me as a daughter... but God knows I loved her and honored her to the best of my ability... and that's the best I could do.. sometimes... we're just given fleeting moments... mine were just so fleeting I don't remember them... so on Mother's Day I wear a white carnation for mom... and I posted her youthful pic on my FB... and I love and honor her memory... as fleeting as it was... well I don't know where all that came from.. but this is such a special place... thanks Rick you stirred up lots.. Sandi
Posted 5/9/2011 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
ah. thanks rick... thats what i tell my sister a lot..that the great thing mom did for us was give us life.. i was a lil depressed yesterday.. siblings chose that day to talk about when mom passes away. and then later me and mom were talkin. she still has her moments.. and i told my mom it worried me about where she would go when she passes away.. i tried to get her to let me bring my pastor in.. my mind would be eased so much... but she said no.. i guess i have a strong faith and think everyone else should too,,, why wont everybody just listen to me? turn   life would be so much simpler.... gotta go,,, moms got shoeboxes in  attic i want to go through....

Sandi-- you made me cry...

Posted 5/9/2011 8:43 PM (GMT 0)
such beautifully told, sad stories. you are all amazing to go through so much in one lifetime. truly humbled and very touched.thank you.xxnatasha.xx
Posted 5/9/2011 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
Rick and Sandi thank you for sharing. I am sure that you had more than just me with tears in the eyes. Not only lifting up NC, but all who read those words.

Emma
Posted 5/10/2011 1:13 AM (GMT 0)
You guys have made me cry. My last memory of my mom was on mothers day 4 yrs ago when she passed away. I will never forget another mothers day the rest of my life.
Posted 5/10/2011 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
the pastor is also a family member... but its ok. i understand how she feels.. and if she makes peace with herself then that will be good. i think she has realized "too late" all the great things shes missed out on and will miss out on.

and i feel sorry or her... i am also baptist, but in a contemporary kind o way.

on a side note, i think i mentioned i work in an assisted living home..

we have a resident that we just celebrated her 101st birthday.... this lady is more active than me.......

i hope i can get around that good when im 60.....

we have wonderful residents....most with dementia, but all loveable....

 

Posted 5/10/2011 2:23 AM (GMT 0)

Oh, look!  Rick made a funny!  rolleyes

Quite a few of us have remarkable backgrounds and stories...but Sandi, yours is just incredible and especially how you look at it now.

I just read something about researchers finding it true...the old adage that "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  People who have had great trials in life become very resilient and able to face crises better than those who haven't.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 5/10/2011 12:10 PM (GMT 0)
Rick I have found the "faith" community well as "lacking" as you... but then I realize that's what makes us ... them human..when I worked with prison re-entry... or even dealing with Mike and his ESLD... found many cruel examples of "faith"... however this has not stopped my belief or faith in God ... as one pastor once told me.... I was goin to hell for truckin... and I was so naive.... I believed him.... I had no other skills.... coming out of that orphanage... and my husband and I were hired hands on a cattle ranch... all I knew how to do was drive tractor... work cows... and drive truck... the pastor told me I needed to cast the "sin" out of my life and quit truckin... I was haulin milk for the local cheese factory... he told me to go on welfare... with my two little girls...I asked him if he and his church were going to put a roof over my daughters heads ... he said no... I walked out of there tremblin from head to toe... sure that I was agoin to hell.... so every night I prayed.... Lord I know Im goin to hell but watch over my girls and I today...it was years before I realized that there were many other things that I was doin wrong that would send me to hell before drivin truck would..... I simply do not put much "stock" in self-proclaimed messengers... my story is not anything special... my trail down that path... and my acceptance was a God-given blessing... for me life is very precious... the relationships we are given.. even for such a short time.. are priceless... and those moments... I've learned to live between the breathes of life... I waited my whole life... for someone to understand my trail... my life's story... Mike did...and I was blessed for those few years we had... and my life is lived with new understanding... and a deeper faith...however not one often brought under a church roof... oh my went off a talkin again.. Sandi
Posted 5/10/2011 1:58 PM (GMT 0)
I don't think the minister meant  "  Driving trucks=hell"  I think he meant "Women driving trucks=hell".  Especially if it was a few years ago.  

I did a job that mainly men did about 17 years ago......I had a little old lady tell me that I needed to be home with my kids and stop taking away work from a man.  I told her that since my lazy lop husband wouldn't work and that someone had to support my kids........That shut her up. 

You'd be surprised on how many people think that a woman's place is in the home........but in this day and age it takes 2 incomes to make ends meet. 

 

Posted 5/10/2011 8:19 PM (GMT 0)
I dont care to point blame at the denomination... it was a full gospel... fundamentalist church... but truthfully I believed that pastor... for years... and it was because a woman was not supposed to drive truck... I was either supposed to stay in a bad marriage where I stayed at home... or go on welfare... which was so so bad in my thinking... I just could not expose my kids to anymore of a bad home life... and I drove truck...and worked three jobs to support them... while "drivin my way to hell" according to that church... oh well... I did tell him I didn't find God in his church but in the chapel at the orphanage where I was raised and on my knees... and through my bible... and that God would take care of me... and God has...that pastor was later kicked out of that church and denomination... for adultry... I cants spell that word... need Connie I guess....
Posted 5/10/2011 8:21 PM (GMT 0)
oh and Rick ditto ditto ditto on your comments
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