Caregivers sharing thread-renewed-#4

Starting a new thread.

hi emma, glad to have you back! great that you both had some out though.
xxnatasha.xx

bump

Good idea, Emma!

Almost a year of sobriety for him!  SUCH a great thing!

We all have our off days.  You don't even realize how much you've grown since you first came here.  You were a basket case.  You've gained so much insight and have calmed down so much since those days--his sobriety, I'm sure, has something to do with that.  You've become a very valuable member of the forum.  So don't stay in that funk long!!

Hugs,

Connie

Hello everyone.

Caregivers thread hasn't been used lately.  Just thought I would give it a jump back to the top of the heap.

I hope that everyone is doing okay.

Emma

Hi Bibi,

Sorry that you are feeling so stressed out over caring for your Mom.  While my parents haven't experienced any dibilitating illness, they have had their issues.  My folks are still doing okay on their own, but me being the oldest and the only daughter, I am the only one that gets asked to do anything.  My 2 brothers are off limits when it comes to my parents asking for anything...a ride to the airport, picking up their mail when they are out of town, fixing their computer, etc, etc.  My Mom had a stroke 6 years ago and while she was in the hospital (about 3 weeks) I was the only one visiting every day, fixing Dad his meals, doing his laundry, etc.  I am also expected to call them everyday.  My brothers only call once a week.  It is exhausting sometimes.

To deal with that especially with your mom being sick can be very hard.  It is important that you take time for yourself, and try to draw some boundaries.  Easier said than done...but it is important to try.

Take care.

Emma

Bibi-you all live together?

Hi everyone,
we do live together...yesterday my mom had a good day and both of sibling where in the hospital while i went out for a couple of hours . They both said that I've done everything right concerning mom. I was shocked! I told them I'd continue to fight for her until her last breath!..I don't take 'no' very well lol...they said that's why they never intervene ...they felt i was better at it then they'd ever be ..



Bibi

Emma, by all means keep it open.  I push it every time we get a new member who is a caregiver.

Bibi, your siblings' responses could be taken in two ways:  They either really think you are the best one for caring for your mother, or they are using this as an excuse not to get involved.  From your previous posts, you've been having way too much responsibility thrust upon you--which you've accepted.  But then you admit you are burned out.  Surely they can be with her at times when you need to get away, or pick up some of the slack in her care.  Read some of Natty's posts.  She has finally gotten to a place with her MIL where she can get Hospice services, but she was carrying the load on her own for a long time and has gone through the same feelings.

Hugs,

Connie

Let's do keep this thread "alive"!! I am taking hubby to FINALLY have his colonoscopy/endoscopy done on 8/25 now that the insurance issues have been straightened out, and then we see his hepatologist on 9/15 and labs, then, too to discuss "everything".

I will be asking her about some of the new treatments, see if he would be a viable candidate since we are still pre-transplant. Also discussing other "issues" I am seeing....more and more his cognitive thinking is "off"...., I notice when he's walking or in a resting state sitting, his hands curl up alot, his belly is HUGE but they never seem to find any fluid, but when he's breathing he takes short breaths, so not sure what all this means, but I am confident she will order whatever tests she needs to find out!

Hope all of you are doing well! Although I don't actively post every day, I do check in....

Mer

Hey, PG!

Yes, I make it a point to go to lunch with friends every Friday! So, I am definitely getting my "me" time....although that's been a bit tricky to juggle over the summer since my son is out of school. But, hey, just a run to the grocery store by myself is sometimes a treat! LOL!

I have been taking two summer courses this summer (both online) and my son and I both start back to school on August 22! So, me being in school is also a bit of a break from the "stuff" in my house, too!

Hope you are doing well!

Mer

I see my counselor once a month or so and she has been great at leading me to be sure that I take care of myself. It is so true that we can't care for our loved ones as we would like to if we are not in good form.

Mer-lunch with friends once a week sounds lovely! I try to get a latte in with one of my friends every 7-10 days...cheaper than a lunch out. We can sit and gab over coffee. What's it like taking an on-line class? Can you really learn? I think I would be too distracted.

Emma

Post Edited (healthynow) : 7/28/2011 10:27:25 PM (GMT-6)

hi all, just thought i would pop in and say hi!! have had the strangest week,, hubby slipping at the mo healthwise, (still alcohol free since the blip last week gone), had a call from a private hospital telling us his very nasty consultant had obviously had a change of heart regarding no treatment and asked them to fast track an appointment to perform an endoscopy!!!!!!! the local nhs hospital we usually deal with have a 6 to 9 mth wait for this procedure so he is going in private but we dont have to pay!!!! i am a little stunned over this turn of events but pleased all the same. we go in tomorrow at 12pm. not really sure what to expect and hubby is very scared but i said i would be there with him and sis in law.
for those of you that had this procedure or had loved ones go through it, do you have any advice? do they only check for varices or will they have a good look at everything else while they are down there?
xxnatasha.xx