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Posted 7/9/2011 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
Hi guys, havent wrote in a while, but have been reading and keeping up with everyone. Last Saturday we got married! YAY! Anna was not sick, which we feared very badly. She made it through, Although not too happily. I have only 2 pictures where she was smiling out of 150. The rest she looked very angry. It has been he** around here since then. Her constantly yelling at us, threatening the kids again, you name it she has done it. I finally had enough yesterday and told her very nicely to step back into her place. Well she didnt.

She waited til her and Mark were out yesterday afternoon and told Mark several lies on me. He knew better, but thats still not the point. SO this morning I confronted her with it. I was nice, but firm. I told her if she wanted to continue living here, that she had to stop. That I was tired of the abuse aimed at me and the kids. I was tired of the lies. She then told me that I was taking her son away from her. That is all I needed to hear. That is what all of this stuff has been about. I am hoping that by reassuring her that I am not going to do that, it will get better. I told her if she really didnt want to be here, then she needed to tell us so we can figure out what to do next. I dont know if it will work but fingers crossed.

She hasnt had a spell of HE in a very long time, even though she is always showing signs of it. We wake up every morning afraid of finding her in one pr in another coma. Is there such a state, where one is in a spell of it constanly and it just gets worse. The way she acts sometimes, you could swear she is going into one. I really dont get this disease.

Hope you are all enjoying you weekend,
Natalie
Posted 7/9/2011 6:39 PM (GMT 0)

Congratulations on your marriage, Natalie!!!  You got it done!!!  Try to remember that MIL is not going to be around forever.  Don't let her come between you guys.  And yes, she has been trying to come between you and Mark all along...fearful of losing her "baby."  Some moms are like that when it comes to their sons...don't know how to acknowledge that their sons are full-grown men and learn to let go.  You are right to reassure her and also to stand your ground.

It's really difficult to say if some of her behavior is HE related, but if there's minimal confusion and no odd behavior in other areas, then it's probably coming from a different place--especially if she is taking her Lactulose regularly.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 7/9/2011 7:00 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Connie! We are happy and wont let her come in between us. I am hoping that she will let us all get a long as a family and wont keep fighting us.

The thing with her lactulose is, that sometimes this amount works and others it dont. It depends on how much she goes to the bathroom. Sometimes, she goes really well and others barely. We up it as we need to, but never reduce it anymore. She is finally done with the flagyl, which means less diarrhea, but also less bm and chances of her ammonia building back up. it si a wait and see thing anymore.

natalie
Posted 7/9/2011 7:58 PM (GMT 0)

"I am hoping that she will let us all get a long as a family and wont keep fighting us."

It's good to be hopeful, but I wouldn't count on it.  As Dr. Phil says, "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior."  Unless, of course, there is a spiritual awakening and a complete change of personality, attitudes, and behavior. 

Just determine to be happy in your marriage despite what she says and does.

Hugs,

Connie 

Posted 7/9/2011 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
Best wishes to the Bride and Groom.

And good luck with your blended family...lots of challenges from the start.

I have been reading your posts all along and I think you both have your heads on straight....it is difficult to be in a family sandwich...kids, couple and granny! 

Best,

Carol

 

Posted 7/10/2011 2:19 PM (GMT 0)
Congratulations on your marriage! It's a heavy burden to bear - continue to stand up for yourself - and love your family. Pam
Posted 7/10/2011 3:43 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks ladies,

Since I have talked to her it has been ok, but I know it wont last long. I just have to stand up for my family and myself and not back down. I a dead set in doing it too. I will no longer tolerate any of us, including mark to be treated that way again. I think she realizes it, just not sure yet.

Natalie
Posted 7/10/2011 6:03 PM (GMT 0)

Good for you, Natalie!!  I feel like I've been on this journey with you all these months...from the very beginning of your taking care of Anna.  You've given so much of yourself.  It's time you and your family are treated decently and enjoy some peace and happiness.

Big hugs,

Connie

Posted 7/11/2011 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
Congratulations Natalie! I'm glad you finally got hitched! :) And I'm glad too that the MIL didn't get a chance to ruin it for you. The others are right, she won't be around for ever so you stick to your guns and don't let her wedge between you and Mark. Part of her problem as well might be that she's a little scared and afraid that now that you're a permanent fixture in his life that you could kick her out. But after all you've done to help her, you would think she would know better, but, with her mind in the shape it's in, you never know what goes on in there.

Hang in there and hold your ground. You've already proven your strength so I'm sure you can handle her!

Take care of your new family!

Posted 7/13/2011 3:21 AM (GMT 0)
Natty-congrats on the wedding!  I wish only happiness for you and Mark. 

Glad that your MIL was not sick for the wedding. 

You are a wonderful wife and DIL.  Your love for your husband and MIL are evident in every post...even when you are having a tough time.  You are all very fortunate to have each other.  A wonderful lesson for the children, a demonstration of caring for an ill family member...hanging in there no matter how tough it gets.  Really showing love for your spouse, by extending that love and caring to his mother.  Remember that if you hit a patch of doubt. 

There are so many stories of wives not caring for their MIL.  I never understood...because I loved my MIL so much.  She was a lovely, caring woman.  I find inspiration when I read how much you care for your MIL.

Again, wishing only the very best for you and Mark.

Emma

Posted 7/15/2011 12:00 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone for all the wishes, we have had our hands full and thats why I havent responded
Posted 7/16/2011 12:23 AM (GMT 0)
May God bless you in your new marriage... may your love last from this breath until your last... may you know joy that comes with seeing him.. just him... and may you be blessed in knowing each other all the days of your lives...may the early dawn bring laughter to your heart laying beside the love of your life and as evening draws close... may you lay content in the warmth of your loved one... and may you always know deep down the security that only true love can bring... Sandia
Posted 7/16/2011 2:04 AM (GMT 0)
Sandia-beautiful.  I am gonna steal those words from you for the next wedding card I need to write... yeah

Emma

Posted 7/16/2011 3:01 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Sandia, that was beautiful!
Posted 7/16/2011 4:18 AM (GMT 0)
Congrats on your wedding! Your MIL is lucky to have you!
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