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Posted 8/15/2011 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
Some of our members had recently requested a "Grief" thread be started and stickied for those who have lost loved ones...a place to go to share and receive support.  I stated then that I did not think our Adminstrator, Peter, would agree to the idea as he doesn't like to have many stickied threads.  But I wrote to him anyway, with the request.  Today I received his answer:

"I'm not sure that is a good idea.  I prefer to limit the number of sticky threads to one or two at most.


Peter


Peter Waite

HealingWell.com LLC"

https://www.healingwell.com

__________________________________________________________________ 

The only alternative would be for one of the members who is interested in having this type of thread to start it, but in order to keep it on Page 1, it will need to be posted to daily or given a bump frequently.

Sorry, guys.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 9/3/2011 6:13 PM (GMT 0)
Bump...
There has been so much recent loss and sadness.
Posted 9/3/2011 6:19 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks for bumping this, Emma.  Caregivers who have lost loved ones can also post (or continue to post) in the Caregivers thread.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 9/4/2011 3:15 AM (GMT 0)
I think this is a good idea, and with so many of us losing our loved ones in the past few days, I am sure it will be used. Thanks Connie

Natalie
Posted 9/4/2011 3:22 AM (GMT 0)

You're welcome, Natalie, but Emma is the one to be thanked.  How are you holding up?

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 9/4/2011 12:38 PM (GMT 0)
It's Sunday morning and my girls and I are getting ready for church. I just wanted to say that I am sending up prayers this morning not only for my Louis, but for Krista's Ben, Natty and Marks Anna, and Elle's husband as well. Anybody else that wants to pray with me, just close your eyes and I know those prayers will get to heaven in groves!!
Love you all!
Marilyn
Posted 9/6/2011 1:40 PM (GMT 0)
I don't think it gets better, it gets different.  Some days you have to struggle to put one foot in front of the other. 
Posted 9/6/2011 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
my dad said to me when he lost his mum,,, "you never get over it but you do learn to live with it, day by day, hour by hour, time stretches the grief to a thinner layer so its always there only lighter to carry".
i dont know if this will help but just to point out that it really does get easier.
i hope for you mary that it will, with time, get easier and lighter.
xxnatasha.xx
Posted 9/6/2011 5:59 PM (GMT 0)
It may not get better than what you had when your loved one was alive (it will get different).   But the devastation that you are feeling now will get better. WOD you hit the nail right on the head. 

Mary,  I didn't feel better until I passed all the firsts hurdles.  Which not only included all the holidays and special dates........but also for me it was all the different restaurants and places that we enjoyed together. 

I went to Hospice's grief group after 7 months of grieving.  It gave me the tools I needed to move forward.  I found out everything I was feeling and doing was normal for someone who had lost their husband.  I was thinking that I was going nuts.  I had a lot of people fooled thinking that I was doing great......even myself for a while......But I finally had to admit that I needed help if I was going to get through it in one piece.   It was the best thing that I could have done for myself. 

There's no right or wrong way to grieve..........just like liver disease........grieving is very individualistic.  You get through it the best way that's right for you. 

Thoughts and prayers........... 

Posted 9/7/2011 10:41 PM (GMT 0)
may i say i lost my mom almost 2 years ago and this saying helps me so im going to share it with you

"people never really die because they have loved, and because they have loved they live on in the hearts of the people whose lives they have touched."
Posted 9/8/2011 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
Saroy, I'm a little confused. Are you a new poster or an old poster under a different user name?

Hugs,
Connie
Posted 9/9/2011 11:32 AM (GMT 0)
i was a little confused by that too connie, quite a few similarities.

hope all who have recently lost loved ones are making it through each day as best they can. thoughts and prayers for you all.
xxnatasha.xx
Posted 9/9/2011 8:32 PM (GMT 0)

Mary, I recognized it.  That's why I was wondering if you had signed up as a different user name.

I believe this new poster joined for the sole purpose of advertising his business.  I doubt he/she will ever be seen here again.  He/she has been reported to the Administrator.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 9/9/2011 10:43 PM (GMT 0)
If Peter doesn't ban him by tomorrow I'll just go ahead and delete his posts........But in order for him to ban him he needs a post to find him.
Posted 9/10/2011 8:44 AM (GMT 0)
some people,,,,,,..

mary, i hope you are doing ok? i think of you often.
xxnatasha.xx
Posted 9/10/2011 7:19 PM (GMT 0)
People do that because yes - they are advertising their business.

For your reference - links from websites are the mainstay of how google and bing rank their search results. This is the art of SEO (search engine optimization)

A link from one site to another is a "vote" in favour of the target site.

In order to stop idiots who gain links in this manner - the admin or mod MUST delete the post before the search engines see it (and the link) - otherwise (and dofollow or not) the juice is passed and the target site gets the credibility and sales.

Zap the spammer mods - asap

E
Posted 9/10/2011 8:50 PM (GMT 0)
Mr E.... such sense... Hi guys... all is well... my daughter and I are going through a rough time... but surviving..... missin Mike every day... but surviving... Sandia
Posted 9/10/2011 10:07 PM (GMT 0)
Mr. E, the problem with that is that we cannot be too quick to delete a potential new member's posts. We could unwittingly delete sincere posters who don't know the rules about links. Our focus is on THIS site and not the person's affiliation with Google or other search engines.

I tried to remove the link alone, but could not even do that in his profile. But the matter has been taken care of and always will be, though sometimes not as quickly as we would like.

Hugs,
Connie
Posted 9/10/2011 10:47 PM (GMT 0)
I know how it is Connie - no rush on my part. Just trying to point a few things out - like the reasoning they do it.

One good way of stopping them in their tracks (ive found) (and of course this is noted as trivial given all that is going on here with folk) is in the forum software you can sometimes prevent new members posting links until they have 100 posts or so.

This puts them off - I can tell you that much from 10 years experience of it.

:)
E
Posted 9/11/2011 12:51 AM (GMT 0)
That would be a good idea, E, but it would be an administrative function.

Hugs,
Connie
Posted 9/11/2011 2:11 AM (GMT 0)
Pink Grandma,
Hospice grief counseling is a blessing. I have a son that took his own life, and I went to grief counseling through Hospice, and it helped me alot. They help you understand why you are feeling the way you do, and many other things and feelings you are going through. My friend in NJ lost her husband to liver decease in 2010, he would not quit drinking, and was actually in good health for his condition. He went in to the ER to be drained and get some relief for the pain and when they gave him the pain medication his blood pressure dropped and his heart stopped. RIP Rob, we love you!! Anyhow, I have talked to her about going, gotten the #'s and info for her and she still will not go. She is still in mourning over a year later. I wish she would go . . I know they can help her too!

My heart goes out to all of you grieving the loss of a loved one. Call Hospice in your area, and let them help you help yourself through this.

Debbie
Posted 9/12/2011 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
Debbie, unfortunately some don't feel comfortable enough going to a group meeting.......even if everyone there is going through the same thing.   I also tried getting my brother to go to one, even offered to go with him......he also refused.   He got through it in his own way.  But I do believe that it would have helped him trememdously had he gone. 

Mary,  I understand.........my husband used to do all the fixing around the house......But now I have to do it.......had to fix my garbage disposal yesterday......after my foster son jammed it and couldn't get it to work again.  I sure felt good that I was able to get it going.   But yes I still miss him and his antics. 

Thoughts and prayers.....  

Posted 9/12/2011 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
Pink Grandma,
They offer individual grief therapy. I was there by myself when my son took his life. They also had group, but it was up the the person recieving the therapy. Once your to a place in your therapy where you feel comfartable talking to, with, or in front of others, then your go to a group. It is very rewarding, or at least was in my experience.

Debbie
Posted 9/12/2011 11:57 PM (GMT 0)
Debbie, if mine had individual therapy I was not made aware of it. I think I am going to call and ask them about it. It took me 2 tries to actually go to the group. The first time I ran out......I couldn't do it. I had to wait a month before I got the courage to try it again. The first meeting when I introduced myself. All I said was my name and my husband's name...........and that I didn't know why I was there as I was fine. The next meeting I didn't say a word........But at the 3rd meeting I balled like a baby.....It was the first time I had actually cried in front of anyone since my husband had died about 7 months before. I had to always be the strong one. People depended on me.......I couldn't appear to be weak or at least that's what I thought. Boy did I feel so much better when I got home. After that I actually looked forward to the meetings.

Thanks for the tip about individual meetings......I will definitely find out if our hospice offers them here and if they do pass it along.......

Thoughts and prayers.........
Posted 10/4/2011 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
Bump.

It had been suggested that we have a grief thread for those that have lost their loved ones to share their experiences.

Prayers for you all that are going through this.

Emma
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