The last stop before Heaven...

I have often wanted to name our lovely home in the mountains that Craig built, one log at a time. When we finally finished it and look around and said, "what next?" little did we know what the next couple of years would bring.

Well, we are finally here. After a grueling day which began with a fall in the bathroom (turned my back for 2 minutes - it's like having a toddler ) and then buckets of rain when trying to get him into the car. 3 hours at the radiation oncologist - pray God, that it will help and give some blessed relief to that arm. They were very kind, and the nurse remembered him from his treatments last year and she was crying when we left. Softie : ) She was very helpful, but agreed that this may indeed be a one way trip.

We were met by friends who had everything ready for us. A little overwhelming for Craig, but we were grateful. We are finally alone. I cleaned him up, medicated him and faced him toward the mountains in the recliner. He is falling asleep.

I am starting to feel a little peace. I already miss him so much. He can't speak. I can barely touch him without hurting him. But we are here in this beautiful place that he built for us, and the place where we always felt at home. I am just holding on to that now.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers. Remember to be kind to one another.

Love,

   Marie

 

So very sad. I am so sorry it has to end like this. You are very brave.

Hugs,

Carol

It sounds like a peaceful place. My thoughts are with you both.

Hugs,
Connie

Marie,
Many prayers for you and Craig.
Emma

I find that acceptance is easy only when you have no other choice. I don't think in terms of good days and bad days anymore, more like good and bad moments. Sadly, the good moments are waning.

Thanks for the prayers, Emma.

David, you are right, no one could have loved him or cared for him better, but I am lucky too. In the 27 years of our marriage, I never ever for one instant doubted his love for me, even in our worst times. We did not have a perfect relationship, because we both have flaws. Big ones. But we have always been there for each other. And even though I feel robbed, I so wanted to be that cute little old lady and man holding hands, walking on the beach, I guess that I will have to be satisfied that I have experienced more love than a lot of people have in an entire lifetime.

Connie,

This is the most peaceful place we could ever be, except people keep showing up! They have been great, only one or two at a time, but each one is such an emotional experience and I relive it with them when they see him. I am releived they are all gone now and it is just he and I for the evening again. Beautiful sunset.

Rest easy, all, thinking of all of you and our strange journeys. I'm sure glad God knows what he is doing, because I don't.

Love,

Marie

Thinking of you and Craig this morning.  Hope you both had a peaceful eve...the moon was so beautiful here.

Angie1953

The most amazing sunset tonight. Craig is in his recliner facing southwest. Today was difficult, sad, happy, beautiful, and excrutiating on the heart.

I am praying so hard that this is over for him soon, but his lions heart and scottish stubborness is at odds with his body. I am so thankful to be in this place with him and pray to be a comfort to him tonight.

His brother came up last night and stayed over. He stayed long enough so that I could go to church this morning. There is a little meeting house on the river, next to an old covered bridge. I try to go whenever we are here, so thye know me a little. The congregation is a about 5-10 peoople at a Sunday. I didn't realize it was the first of the month and it was a  communion Sunday, another blessing.

I asked them to pray him into heaven with me. It was a beautiful service, and I felt a peace pour over me while there. I hope it holds me through the next days.

Marie

Marie,
Thanks for posting and sharing a bit of time with us as you and Craig take this journey. It is helpful to me to hear the peace in your heart as you help him through these times. I know that I will be in your place someday and will need the strength that I hear in you. The church sounds like such a beautiful little place.

I am thinking about the two of you today.

Carol, I really don't know the answer to your question. I've thought about it a lot, but hope the situation will dictate what is the best to do. I'm glad you were not faced with such a decision, afterall.
Angie1953

Marie, I am thinking of you and Craig tonight and you are both in my prayers. Take comfort in the beauty and serenity surrounding you. You will also be in my thoughts and prayers in the days to come.

Prayers sent your way Marie.
Jeff

I cherish the memories of my last moments with Mike... there was such a bond it is hard to explain.. it was a priveledge to walk with him on that last journey of his life.. I was blessed. Sandia

Dear Marie,

I knew before I opened your post it would have this news.

If only each of us could pass, pain free, in a place we love, surrounded by those who love us most.

You have helped us all see that death is a natural part of life...rest in peace, Craig...

Hugs to you, Marie.

Carol

Marie,

   Thinking of you today.  Sorry you lost your love..what a wonderful atmosphere you were able to provide for him for his journey.  Thanks for sharing with us.  I can see the cabin in my mind's eye.  Hope I have the courage that you do when the times comes for my honey.

   I am going to move him home tomorrow from the nursing home.  Thanks.  Best to you.

Angie1953