HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

financial lifestyle changes

Support Forums
>
Hepatitis
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 6/9/2013 4:27 AM (GMT 0)
Carol/MamaLama-
Your post to Butterfly was very informative. No holding back. Thank you. It also scared the poop out of me. Within the hour after I read it, I was scared, sad, and then angry. Feeling foolish. Dougie has been doing so well. Alcohol free, happy with his part time work, cleaning the house, cooking, reading, going to the gym. We are in a really good place. Have a good rhythm going. It is really nice. And in this time, I have forgotten. Forgotten the fear. Oh my, the overwhelming fear. Your post just hit me in the face. I must remember this. And maybe we will be lucky, Dougie will stay sober...and wherever his liver health is, with good health choices he will live a long life and pass from something else. Or...who knows? Taking it all one day at a time. Being grateful for how things are good now. But I need to not forget.
Thank you.

Emma
Posted 6/9/2013 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
@ Emma...my goal was not to upset you, but to post a reality check for Butterfly who has asked what is next for them.

I am a wreck much of the time myself. I keep going through my savings and what then? Lose the FL house? Pray for an early death? Move in with one of the kids. The finances are frightening.

Mike hasn't worked much in over 10 years...he worked in a store 15 or 20 hours a week for a while, but it was too much physically and mentally. I retired when I thought I'd saved up enough. Not so. And now facing 70 I have to face returning to work myself at some point. I keep kidding myself that I'll sell some of my writing and patch together an income, but I keep getting distracted with medical stuff and put that part of my brain on hold. My small FL house is underwater big time, etc etc.

I think each of us is one serious illness away from homelessness.

I'm sorry to have frightened you. We haven't heard again from Butterfly. Let's hope she is busy organizing their new life.

Hugs,
Carol
Posted 6/9/2013 5:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Carol,

No apologies needed! This was a good scare for me to have. You are correct, we are all one serious illness away from being homeless. And in this day and age...in this country...this is a disgrace.

Your post was a good centering piece of reading for me. I use to think about all those things alot, in the beginning when Dougie first got sick. Made some plans, then forgot about them. When my mom passed, it brought all those many end of life and finance issues again, but of course, more focusing on my dad. I have spent so much of the last year trying to find a happy thought and not feel so sad by the weight of losing my mom. So I have been focusing on happy thoughts and not scary thoughts.

Dougie is 11 years older than me. He lost his job about 3 years before he was sick...so we have been through the realignment of finances at that time. Then again when he got sick. Since he has been sober and of improving health, we have forgotten all that hard stuff. We start paying on youngest child's student loans this month...so we are back to having to do the financial reinvent again. And then your post reminded me that there is more to consider...

Carol-I think you are a very good writer. Maybe a book or series of articles about this very subject. Caregiving...finances...the hard end of life discussions... There is a need for this information. We see it all the time right here on this forum.

Yes, I hope Butterfly lets us know how she is doing.

Hugs right back to you,
Emma

Post Edited (healthynow) : 6/9/2013 11:42:20 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/9/2013 5:24 PM (GMT 0)
I also though we were set for retirement. Had our own place, vehicles money saved to travel and enjoy our retirement together.  Two years of hubby living with end state liver disease and 6 months of nursing home care, and now as a widow, I am back to living day to day, constantly worrying about the finances, looking for a second job with no health insurance for myself.

..But I am healthy (I think), and have a job, so have to be grateful, but never expected 2 years of health problems could be so devasting....and I lost him anyway!!

I agree about the one health problem away from homelessness.  Scary really scary.  Working to rebuild my life,,,and starting at the financial rebuilding.  Hard to get any grieving in...but maybe that's a good thing.  I really am counting blessings today, even though I wrote all the above.

Angie1953

Posted 6/9/2013 5:46 PM (GMT 0)
Angie,
Will you be able to get insurance with the new Obamacare?

I have watched my dad get a handle on his finances. My mom took care of all that. So it is all new for my dad. He is making a good go at it. He will spend all day balancing the check book. But he is doing it. So that is good. I don't think he had any idea about the cost of things.

I am counting my blessings too. I hope my post didn't give a different message. I always strive to be thankful for all the good in my life.

Hugs for you too Angie.

Emma
Posted 6/9/2013 5:53 PM (GMT 0)
First of all...Emma: I'm so pleased that you are enjoying your life now. Treasure every moment.

I guess I'm lucky that I've never wanted a house--didn't want the upkeep. And if I'd had one, I would've lost it by now. I am fortunate to live in a Sr. Apt. Complex--not assisted living, just a regular apt. with special amenities for elderly and disabled. It's only for those 62 and over, so it's quiet and clean. They are constantly upgrading and they have a full time housekeeper to keep the place sparkling. The rent is very reasonable, since it's based on income...even though I just got a $7/mo. increase. It's very secure...and it's at the beach.

For those who are 62 or over (or whose partner is), this is a good option. Check it out in your town or nearest city.

Nevertheless, everything keeps going up, as we all know, so by the end of the month I'm flat broke. But I've never missed a meal and my bills are always paid on time. The complex has recently begun a food giveaway program every week, so that helps...even if I just get a few items. I have also just applied to a Pet Food Stamps program, where they will send cat food (or dog food) once a month--free. Any type I need. I get "people" food stamps myself of $33/mo., which helps the end of the month. I just can't afford impulse buying.

For years, I had been waiting for my 1st husband to die, as I know I would get more on his SS. He was a tile setter in NYC and made good money (in the union), working on jobs like Lincoln Center and the '64? World's Fair. However, he's almost 84 now (much older than I) and I've decided that I'm better off on my own SS. Otherwise, I wouldn't qualify for anything. Right now, I get "Extra Help" so my Medicare premium is paid for--that's $100/mo--as well as my prescription drug premium. With increased income my rent would go up drastically and I would not be able to get the pet food or the other help.

I worked all my life, until I got too sick...and am entitled to what I can legally get. There is lots of help out there. You just have to learn about it and apply.

I have some information on places that have legitimate "work from home" jobs, paying from $4 a job (doesn't take long) to $8-15/hr. E-mail me for details.

Hugs,
Connie
Posted 6/9/2013 6:53 PM (GMT 0)
This was great... I cant tell you how much all this information is bringing some comfort to me. I am VERY interested in the at home work online... Please help me with this. I am looking at ways to increase our income. I really need to keep my part time job because they are so flexible and understanding as long as i keep my work up to date. I will be looking for the email..

It was so nice to see that someone gets my concerns for the future as well as the present. Sometimes i feel selfish worrying about what is going to happen to me when my husband is dieing. I dont mean to be selfish just trying to be smart and proactive in all our choices. My precious hubby is finally opening up to help me try to figure out a plan so that I am not overwhelmed with the future. Carol, reading your response was a breath of fresh air because I was able to see how this chat helps us all plus I am feeling so Connected now...
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply