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Liver Failure and cirrhosis death, anyone go through this?

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Posted 10/3/2007 12:12 PM (GMT 0)

When my husband died of cancer three years ago I took care of him at home with the help of Hospice and his last breaths were like a fish out of water.  I wondered why God put me on this journey and I still have to remind myself that God's ways are always right.  They may not make sense.  They may be mysterious, inexplicable, difficult and even painful.  But they are right.

My mother received tainted blood years ago and now she is in her final days of liver cirrhosis.  The last 36 hours I would never have been able to deal with this experience had it not been for the six month I was able to take care of my husband. I began to feed mom a teaspoon of mashed potatoes when  blood came spewing from her nose and mouth, black blood thick with clots that looked like garden slugs with bright red blood on them, this continued on and off for almost 24 hours.  I was able to remove most of the blood using about a ½ bottle of Shout and Tide in the laundry, some loads I did twice.  Quickly wiping the blood off the wood floor, spraying with Shout and mopping removed the stains before they set; finally I got smart, ran to Rite Aid for more under pads (30” x36”) and put them all around her and on the floor.  Hospice suggested withholding anything given orally, meds, food, and water because it might trigger another episode of vomiting (they say red blood is new and it will mean she is closer to death).   Thinking I had to give her something as her lips cracked from dryness I gave her an ice chip and started the vomiting one more time.   She finally fell into a restless sleep her hands fidgeting constantly even in sleep.   After praying and knowing she was in pain I gave her .5 ml of Oxycodone and a sip of water that she was able to hold down.   She has been deep asleep.  We have made it through another night and she woke up wide-eyed and hungry, I gave her a sip of apple juice and am thinking about giving her some pain medication but want to see if she holds this down first.

I guess I'm asking for suggestions should I try to give her meds, food and liquids again and if so what type of food do you suggest?  The other question is what comes next I read somewhere that she may go into a comma and hospice said she will probably starts throwing up bright red blood which makes me reluctant to give her anything orally but if she's thirsty, hungry or the itching and pain get worse...would depriving her be helping?
confused  

Posted 10/3/2007 2:51 PM (GMT 0)
confused  hi rose in ohio, i,m from ohio to my name is annette. my heart goes out to you and your mother. i went through cirrhosis with my father but not at home in the hospital, at the end his bleeding was through his intestial track and he was in a coma. cirrhosis is a horrible disease for the whole family. do you have any help beside yourself? my father passed away in december of 2006 i still have nightmares about some of his moments with cirrhosis.

we dont even know how he got it, i do know he had it for a while but our drs were treating him for everything else, we found out 6 months before he died. all you can do now is keep her comfortable as you can, i,m so sorry for you and your mother i hope that hospice will help you out more maybe more pain meds would keep her comfortable im not a nurse or dr. i dont think i would take a chance of her vomiting over and over again. my father lasted a day and a half after going into a coma but the bleeding was still there, thats something i would like to forget but cant,

my thoughts and prayers go out to you, bless you and your mother, you are a very good person!!!!!

take care of yourself rose and let us know whats going on.

annette sad

Posted 10/3/2007 2:52 PM (GMT 0)
rose you can email me if you like!!!
annette
Posted 10/5/2007 2:40 AM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry about your mother. I went through it with my husband last April. But both he and I were fortunate I guess. He didn't do any bleeding. But he did have the death rattle breathing for 12 straight hours. All I gave him was morphine drops and some other drops for his "gurgling". I also kept wetting his lips and elevating him every so often until he was almost sitting up. I rubbed his head and played with his hair. He had always loved that. But I think what helped him the most was everyone coming in and talking to him. Telling him how much we loved him. He didn't didn't know that his family loved him until then. They didn't show it until then. Oh well at least he knew at the end. Do what ever your mother liked. Massaging her, or maybe combing her hair. When it gets close to her time..give her permission to let go. Let her know how much you love her and how much you will miss her but it's okay now for her to leave if she wants. If she is religious say a prayer with her and for her. Let her hear you. She may not be able to respond but I can guarantee that a comatose person can hear. My husband was proof of that. Again I am so sorry that you're going through this again. My thoughts and prayers will be with you . Pink Grandma
Posted 10/5/2007 3:02 AM (GMT 0)

Dear Pink Grandma and Annette, thank you for your words of encouragement and faith. God knows my mom isn’t going easily, even to Him. Hospice thought she would be gone yesterday, today she ate oatmeal…she is more stubborn then a mule. She has survived war, the lost of her husband, raising two teenagers alone in NYC, the death of her son, and battles with multiple illnesses since she was young. I love every moment she continues to give me and I know she will let go only when she is ready and God knows in her case it may not be His time. She has fought a valiant fight and I am so proud to be her daughter and being able to return some token for all that she has given me. Please keep praying for God’s will to be done; He sure created one tough lady. :-)

Post Edited (Rose_in_Ohio) : 10/4/2007 9:05:46 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/5/2007 8:02 PM (GMT 0)

 hi rose, my father was like that to he was 88 years young, he survived so many things in his lifetime including WWII he was in it 5 years. he was also a fighter up untill 2 days before he passed. it was just time for him he was tired., it just seemed liked six months of you know what!!! take care of yourself rose.  yeah annette

Posted 10/6/2007 3:30 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Annette, Mom is sleeping most of the time now. Hospice brought oxygen for her today her breathing is slow and shallow they think it might make her more comfortable. She takes in so little liquid and food I can't imagine how she is holding on. She lost weight over the last few years but now as I look at her, she is skin and bones. I talked to her about the happy times we shared over the years, there are so many special memories, not sure she really was aware but Pink said she could hear me. She has had severe Alzheimer’s disease for years so often I've been the only person that knew what she was saying, so I figure she knows what I'm saying now. I appreciate hearing from you, thanks for sharing. Rose

Post Edited (Rose_in_Ohio) : 10/5/2007 9:38:04 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/7/2007 9:41 PM (GMT 0)
Rose how is your mom doing today. Hope everything is okay. Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you .
Posted 10/7/2007 10:28 PM (GMT 0)
Rose

I think you are a wonderful daughter for taking so much care of your mother. I thought that when my mother needed me I would take care of her. I didn't get the chance. My stepfather killed her and then himself when she was 49 years old (that is 6 years older than I am now), but that is a subject not for this forum.

I just wanted you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you, I know it can't be easy for you.
Posted 10/8/2007 2:33 AM (GMT 0)
Hi All,   Thanks for the continued support. Mom seems physically better today, more urine output, more awake, but somewhat less aware (if that makes sense). I have the air conditioning on but she seems warm today with so little nutrition I have to worry about insulin shock...if it's not one thing it's another. I was able to finish a Power Point presentation on increasing handicap access in our community, I hope awareness will create a community effort in providing better access to public places and maybe even build a handicap-accessible park. I'm sharing this because I find that I must take care of myself physically, emotional, and spiritually to continue to take care of my mom, this project is my sanity some days. What did or do you use to keep going?   Post Edited (Rose_in_Ohio) : 10/7/2007 8:37:31 PM (GMT-6)
Posted 10/9/2007 3:25 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Rose, this forum and my grandchildren keep me going right now. Keeps my mind occupied. When my husband was alive and things got bad I would take a walk in our yard. If that didn't work I would get on this forum and vent. It's a neat thing that you are doing for the handicap.
My husband use to get infections easily. I was always taking his temp and calling his doctor to get a prescription for antibiotics every other month it seemed like. And when he had an infection his ammonia levels went up quickly and it was very hard to bring them back down. It took a hospital here 2 days once to get my husband's ammonia levels back down, because of an infection. You are right........if it not one thing it's another. It's a long hard road with alot of pot holes. Take care
Posted 10/10/2007 12:42 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Pink,

Mom has slept all day, I tried this morning to get her to drink and she didn't have the strength to suck on the straw, yesterday was so much better...you forget what a roller coaster ride this end process can be. I can't seem to get myself happy today, the presentation went well and I saw some old friends I haven't seen since I was still working (before more husband became ill)....Isn't it strange "when I was still working"....I think my screws need tighten, if you are a caregiver you are working 24/7 emotionally and physically. I need strength this evening please pray with me: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

Post Edited (Rose_in_Ohio) : 10/9/2007 6:49:03 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/10/2007 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Rose, try to hang in there. We are praying for God to give you strength.
Posted 10/11/2007 3:54 AM (GMT 0)

Hi All,

God has given mom and I one more day together.  Her hands are swollen since yesterday, but her bowels moved and there are no other signs of fluid rentention. She sleeps such a deep sleep now.  She had trouble but took some liquid pain killer and a couple droppers of apple juice today.

All is quiet now, have a good night, talk to you tomorrow.  Forever thankful for your thoughts and prayers. Rose

Posted 10/11/2007 3:58 AM (GMT 0)
God bless you both. Hope you have a good nights sleep.
Posted 10/11/2007 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
sad  hi rose, you are a very wonderfull person and your mother a very strong woman, enjoy her while you can. take care of yourself to rose. my thoughts are prayers are with you and your mom. god bless

annette

Posted 10/12/2007 12:54 AM (GMT 0)
Hope your mom's doing okay and you as well. Just know that there are alot of people thinking of you and praying for you and your mom. Take care
Posted 10/12/2007 2:04 PM (GMT 0)
Good morning All,

Mom passed away last night about 8:00 pm, she had that raspy death breathing since the night before and no matter what position I tried it just grew louder as the hours passed. She is pain free and in God's hands so I have no more worries about her. My journey of caring for my husband and mom has come to an end, almost 4 years of care giving. I can't imaging going back to being a systems director I think I'll substitute teach until the end of the school year, there is such a void in my daily routine, I feel lost but there are plans to be made today and step by step God will show me my next journey. Thank you so much for being here and sharing these last few days with me, you understood and I needed that so much for part of my healing processing. God Bless You. Rose
Posted 10/12/2007 2:57 PM (GMT 0)
sad  so sorry rose, you are right she is no longer in pain. you will be lost for a while but if you have a job to go back to you will be fine, i had to give up two part time jobs so when my father pased i didnt have anything to go back to.

right now i,m learning how to drive a school bus its just taking so long, .but almost there. my thoughts and prayers are with you, please take care and come back and let us know how you are doing confused

annette

email me if you want rose.

Posted 10/12/2007 11:51 PM (GMT 0)
Rose, I am sorry to hear about your mother. You have been such a strong, caring daughter. I no that God will get you through this, as he must have done in the past to have given you the strength to care for two people you loved so much.

Take care of yourself. I will be praying for you.
Posted 10/13/2007 2:20 AM (GMT 0)
Rose I am so sorry on the lose of your mom. There's really nothing anyone can say to make it better as you well know. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and when and if your able please come back and visit. (((hugs)))
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